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I am having issues with kicking and squirming when I am getting punished, especially when lying on the couch to be strapped. 

Does anyone (with experience) on either side have advice on how to stop that. Anything that works well?

Naomi

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Here are a number of suggestions. Some you will appreciate and some you may not:

1. Have him gently place his hand on the small of your back while he straps you. Amazing how this loving gesture can calm you.

2. Bite down on a pillow while being punished, and focus on your teeth biting the pillow rather than the pain in your rear.

3. Have him give you extra strokes on your legs every time you wiggle them. You quickly will learn how to keep still.

4. Work to relax your body, like you would do with a guided imagery meditation. Focus on the relaxation and being a good girl for your disciplinarian, learning how to "take it."

5. Ask your disciplinarian if he minds you kicking and squirming. I enjoy seeing that.

6. Keep kicking and squirming so that the strap lands on places other than your bottom. That will hurt so much that you will learn to stay in position.

7. Have your bottom elevated quite a bit on pillows so he can strike it without hitting your legs.

8. Push your bottom back toward him with each stroke, as if your bottom is "asking for it." Concentrate on making this movement and the other movements will lessen.

Sir Tony

 

 

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A few more:

9. Be on your elbows and knees for the strapping. It's harder to wiggle and squirm when your knees are holding you up.

10. Take the punishment standing up, bent over with hands on knees. You may jump up and do the spankee dance, but your legs won't be wriggling.

11. Ask to be restrained. Straps can be used to make your legs totally immobile.

12. Ask for a warmup first. Once your bottom is a bit numb, you may be able to stay in position better.

Good luck, Naomi!

Sir Tony

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Thanks for the advice Tony. We have tried (3) and (7) and I am working on (4). I am going to try (8). I feel like (9) feels a bit sexual.

On (11), I am a bit reluctant as it starts to feel like bondage. Is there any kind of restraint that you'd recommend for the legs/hips/waist? How would that work if I am lying on the couch, or even bending over the arm of the couch? I don't think he's restrained any of the people he's spanked in the past but he probably would be okay with it.

Is using restraints common? It might just be me not being good at taking my punishment!

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21 hours ago, IndySpanko said:

Here are a number of suggestions. Some you will appreciate and some you may not:

1. Have him gently place his hand on the small of your back while he straps you. Amazing how this loving gesture can calm you.

2. Bite down on a pillow while being punished, and focus on your teeth biting the pillow rather than the pain in your rear.

3. Have him give you extra strokes on your legs every time you wiggle them. You quickly will learn how to keep still.

4. Work to relax your body, like you would do with a guided imagery meditation. Focus on the relaxation and being a good girl for your disciplinarian, learning how to "take it."

5. Ask your disciplinarian if he minds you kicking and squirming. I enjoy seeing that.

6. Keep kicking and squirming so that the strap lands on places other than your bottom. That will hurt so much that you will learn to stay in position.

7. Have your bottom elevated quite a bit on pillows so he can strike it without hitting your legs.

8. Push your bottom back toward him with each stroke, as if your bottom is "asking for it." Concentrate on making this movement and the other movements will lessen.

Sir Tony

 

 

A covid mask came in handy for me with #2 last weekend!

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Techniques I have used 

 

A. Mindfulness 

1. Imagine your breath coming in and out of the area where the blows are landing; and

2. Observe the pain like a reporter or a narrator. Note the area of the pain,  whether it is “thuddy” or “stingy”, the variation or consistency of the intensity and any other qualities it has. This will allow you to detach from the pain and make it hurt less. When you identify with the pain as if it is part of you, it hurts a lot more and you can get overwhelmed at the feeling it will never end and that you may not be OK.

B. Aggressive and Rapid Breathing 

I have breathed hard and fast and have also growled to take my focus away from the pain.

C. Go to a “Safe Space”

Think of a place where you feel safe and secure. Visualize it.  Imagine yourself really there. Talk to people as if they are there. I have talked to my first Dog when spanked and when I was in the hospital with unbearable pain.  If you can separate your brain from the pain being inflicted, you can diminish the pain.

 

 

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On 11/6/2020 at 11:36 AM, Naomi said:

Thanks for the advice Tony. We have tried (3) and (7) and I am working on (4). I am going to try (8). I feel like (9) feels a bit sexual.

On (11), I am a bit reluctant as it starts to feel like bondage. Is there any kind of restraint that you'd recommend for the legs/hips/waist? How would that work if I am lying on the couch, or even bending over the arm of the couch? I don't think he's restrained any of the people he's spanked in the past but he probably would be okay with it.

Is using restraints common? It might just be me not being good at taking my punishment!

There are some ways to be restrained without actual attachment of straps or rope, etc.:

1. He can hold your back firmly with his non-spanking hand, regardless of position.

2. In the OTK position, he con leg-lock you by placing one of his legs over both of yours.

3. With you lying down, he can straddle you, facing your feet, and his weight holds you down.

4. If you have long hair, he can grab your ponytail to hold your head in place, which tends to also stabilize the body.

5. In the OTK position, he can put his non-spanking hand on your neck, which also tends to calm the rest of the body.

6. In the diaper position (heels over head), he can hold your legs up over your head so they are pretty much immobile.

7. In a standing position, you can bend way over and wrap your arms back around your knees and lock your hands together. As long as you don't let go with your hands, your legs remain stable.

I would say that in the Domestic Discipline world, restraints are not particularly common, but they are used and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Typically as you gain experience you will learn how to hold your position.

Tony

 

 

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Tony - thanks for the suggestions. I think the difficulty that I/we have with some of these techniques is that I am pretty clear about not having physical contact or intimacy. He's tried 1 (which is okay with me), we don't do OTK, 3 and 6 feel intimate or sexual in some way (I am sure they are not in most cases but it feels that way to me) - I don't think I would be comfortable. But I think we will try 7. I dare not suggest 4 to him, but I am sure it would be effective!

One thing he has suggested if using something he calls bondage tape to keep my legs together when in the face-down on the couch position (which we use a lot). I have googled it but never seen the stuff. Any views? Would that mean having the tape wrapped around my thighs or ankles? How is it used?

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My wife uses straps or sits on my back, we even have a spanking horse that has wrist and ancle restraints to keep me in place for anything serious. Best of all is not ending up on her wrong side.

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On 11/19/2020 at 6:30 AM, Naomi said:

Tony - thanks for the suggestions. I think the difficulty that I/we have with some of these techniques is that I am pretty clear about not having physical contact or intimacy. He's tried 1 (which is okay with me), we don't do OTK, 3 and 6 feel intimate or sexual in some way (I am sure they are not in most cases but it feels that way to me) - I don't think I would be comfortable. But I think we will try 7. I dare not suggest 4 to him, but I am sure it would be effective!

One thing he has suggested if using something he calls bondage tape to keep my legs together when in the face-down on the couch position (which we use a lot). I have googled it but never seen the stuff. Any views? Would that mean having the tape wrapped around my thighs or ankles? How is it used?

So I only have experience with bondage tape is a more sexual sense, sorry. But to answer you it's very effective and easy to get off. It adheres to itself very well and isn't like duct tape so it's not sticky. I would suggest having it wrapped around your ankles and thighs. Maybe try just ankles first and then if your still squirming to much move to the thighs? 

I was a swim instructor for years and I think something we did for them might work in the spanking relam. When teaching the butterfly kick, which is a kick with both feet together, you need to keep them together or you risk getting disqualified in swim meets when doing the butterfly stroke. We would use pool rings, like the ones you throw at the bottom of the pool, on our ankles. I've done it and I also taught butterfly kicks that way.

I think it would be a similar effect if your using bondage tape around the ankles. There is no way to get the legs apart that way. You might still squirm, but you'll be far less squirmy (is that a word😅). Anyway, of you didn't want to do bondage tape, you could do the pool ring and see if that works lol. 

Also, I might suggest that he takes things more slowly? Maybe more time in between hits might give you more time to recover. If I may ask, do you squirm after the first hit? Or is it after many hits? Because that's what my dom and I do. I've spoken with him and during punishments if I start squirming to much or even clentch my butt 😆 he stops and tells me to unclench and says if I continue he will really make it hurt. Usually followed up by giving me a second or two to recover. He also knows now that about ten "full power" hand shots WILL get me squirming. So he keeps his number under that and gives me breaks during harder sessions.

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