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Hi all.  My name is Donna and I am pretty new to spanking and today is my first day on this site.  I was never spanked as a child but always was fascinated by it.   I began to think about it more and more as I got older, and I remember the first time I was spanked by a boyfriend.  I was in my late 30 and I became addicted.  I am Type A all day long, professional, out spoken, feisty.  As was he.  We found that before spanking, we fought a lot.  I remember the first time he spanked me like it was yesterday.  We had talked about spanking and engaged in It via foreplay.  After a particularly nasty fight and during make up pre-sex, he started spanking me.  He then directed me to go get may hairbrush and his belt.  I looked at him like he was crazy. Up to that point, he only spanked me with his hand. I thought he wanted to do some sort of role play fantasy so I did it. When I returned, he began lecturing me for how I behaved, and said he was doing to punish me for it I argued a little but his tone changed, and I knew in that moment I WANTED to be disciplined.  And so I let him do it.  Knew I had spoken to him very disrespectfully.  He put me over his lap and hair brushed me .  it was awful.  I remember fighting, and blocking.  My legs were pinned and he he continued until I stopped fighting and just took the punishment.  I can't even describe the pain.  when It was one,  When he was done, he told me to hand him the belt and I began crying b/c I knew what as going to happen.  He had a conversation at that moment about what happened....what was going to happen.. I started crying again and just bent over.  He made me count them.  by the end I was crying so hard, I could barely contain myself.  It hurt yes, but I was crying because of how cathartic it felt.  After, he took me in his arms, and instead of the makeup sex I craved so much, he sent me to bed..   :(

The next day we had a very long conversation and decided that we would begin a domestic discipline relationship.  For awhile we did daily spankings, just with the hand. I was spanked every night before bed, weekly maintenance spankings and then of course punishment spankings when I was disrespectful or disobedient.  As time went one, we eliminated the daily spankings. We started adding more things to our relationship like soaping, corner time, and grounding.  When we broke up, I felt exhausted by it all though.  I wanted to do what I wanted, without fear of a strapping.  

However, 5 years later, I realize I need that sort of relationship and have had a hard time finding it   

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Donna, it sounds like that first DD experience was too intense for you. Daily spankings are really unusual and probably not healthy, in my view. If you are being spanked no matter what, then it is not punishment or stress relief or cathartic. You need to find a partner who believes "all things in moderation," even our favorite kink.


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