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Do you "need" or "want" to cry during your spankings?...


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I just had a wonderful spanking session with a girl in Denver (we met on a different site) and she was very insistent that I spank her until she cried hysterically and then beyond that.  I have an advanced spanking skill set along with a vast collection of implements so this was easy for me to perform however it got me wondering... how many of you actually want to be spanked thoroughly up until, and even continuing through, when you are crying and beyond?

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I think crying can be cathartic. I have cried, but usually don't, and it has nothing to do with how hard the spanking is. It has more to do with how close I feel to the spanker and what I have done that I feel guilty about and am being punished for. I also have had women cry over my lap. I think whenever there is crying there should be gentle, comforting aftercare.

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3 hours ago, IndySpanko said:

 I think whenever there is crying there should be gentle, comforting aftercare.

I agree; I usually do not feel like a spanking has properly done it's job, unless there is a good cry involved.

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I suppose it's something from my youth, but at home and at school one was expected to take a caning with a 'stiff upper lip'.

At home as a younger teen I'd occasionally go to my room, bare my bottom again and lie on my front, crying into my pillow. As an older teen I'd just keep a stiff upper lip.

At school one was not expected to react at all.... but often boys would leave my housemaster's office with a strange expression and a very strange walk!!!!

I don't cry now. Somewhere deeply embedded is that need to evince stoicism.

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I disciplined a girl once that was brought up the same way, the problem was she was beaten with no love, just spanked hard, then tossed to the ground and yelled at. She became hard, and she also could not cry during a spanking. In that case the spanking I give is still hard, but I am not looking for crying. After the spanking I held her in my arms, and cuddled as part of my normal after-care. Since that was something she never receive; it was the loving, and at that point she broke down and started crying.

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Its not a matter of the intensity of the spanking though a longer session will tend to facilitate a cry if emotionally on edge or feeling guilty for not meeting the expectations of the spanker. And I need to have a bond with spanker, a sense of i let them down, they are disappointed in me. if im already close and a verbal scolding of a disapoin ted tone and narrative i can start to well up pretty quick and the spanking at some point will be the straw.

 

JTH 

Seattle

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It is definitely and ideal for me.  I don’t usually cry from the pain though.  It is more about my feelings in relationship to the pain and the ER that helps me to cry.

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  • 1 month later...

This is something I've thought about a lot. Before I was ever spanked (as an adult), my fantasies were all about being spanked to tears and beyond, with the spanking continuing while I cried. When I actually tried it, though, I did not cry, and did not want to.

But it was only erotic spanking (not just a few light swats, real spanking, but for turning on purposes) and we never reached the point of starting to push limits. There were times when my partner spanked me hard and fast and I thought I would cry if he kept that up, but he eased off before I got there.

I still think I'd probably cry if I were spanked hard and fast for long enough to bring it on. And what would bring it on for me would be the feeling of completely losing control, being powerless. Perhaps being restrained would also do it. The one partner I tried this with never restrained me beyond putting a hand on my back. If he'd put me in a leg lock, held my hands down, anything like that, it would have felt more like loss of control for me, and perhaps helped to bring on tears.

I would like to experiment with crossing those lines and see how I really feel about it. But it would have to be after really establishing trust with my spanker, and starting with less intense spankings that don't push those limits. I couldn't go there right off the bat.

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I would consider a spanking to be the best if it brought me to tears or outright crying.  That hasn't happened yet since i self spank and have never been able to bring myself remotely close to that level. I can spank myself hard and long enough to cause bruising, which I do not want, but the pain is hardly more than an unpleasant sting. I use a strap.

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On 10/14/2020 at 7:23 AM, IndySpanko said:

I think crying can be cathartic. I have cried, but usually don't, and it has nothing to do with how hard the spanking is. It has more to do with how close I feel to the spanker and what I have done that I feel guilty about and am being punished for. I also have had women cry over my lap. I think whenever there is crying there should be gentle, comforting aftercare.

Of all the posts on this thread, this one says it best.

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1 hour ago, rubyredd said:

I want to cry, but I don't need to.

That describes me completely also. With or without tears I appreciate my hard spankings. Although in term of crying- I don’t need to cry but I really really really really really want to be brought one day to that point.

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Good question. Do I need to cry? No. Do I want to? Maybe. Sometimes I guess I would.  Crying is a type of release and I guess I could use that sometimes. Not really a crier though,  so....

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I want to so badly, I know it would feel like a huge weight lifted and would make aftercare more special. It's really difficult for me to with so many walls built up, but hopefully one day I'll get to that point.

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Miss Chawsee is the first disciplinarian I’ve ever been able to cry with.  As safe as I feel with her, I’d have a hard time with any other.  The release of being able to cry takes the whole experience to a more meaningful level.  So while I never cried with past disciplinarians, those spankings wouldn’t cut it for me today.  I guess once you’ve had better, you want better.  So yes, I now need this release.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Yes.  I need and want to cry during spankings.  But I can't seem to get there no matter how hard the spanking.  I may swear, but I don't cry.  In general, I don't cry easily.  I like to rebel and control.  I bury my feelings.

I suppose I'm interested in crying during a spanking because I want to know if that will give me the full benefit of it.  Will there be a greater emotional release and a complete satisfaction through crying.    

I can't help to think there is something more to crying during a spanking that I'm not understanding.  Is there a better setting, style, approach, mindset that works.  Whatever it is, I can't seem to let go.  

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