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I'm Not Alpha

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Has anyone else noticed how many men describe themselves as alpha males in spanko forums? Of course this isn't limited to just spankos it's the same the world over.  The over reliance on the term "alpha" often suggests the opposite to me. For instance take institutions like the police force or military where there is a strictly regimented structured. The ranks of course will be full of alpha males but what percentage 10 - 20% max? So mostly police officers and military men are followers not leaders - it'd disaster if they weren't. This doesn't mean that they are not tough, strong or reliable they are just not alphas in their day to day. 

In the real world so many more skills are needed to navigate our world than are needed in the animal kingdom. The term Alpha is limited in describing these skills and even less useful in being a completely rounded human being. If I were looking fro an ER I'd be looking for someone that can empathise, has integrity and is able to communicate - these aren't alpha qualities. So guys, chill with the alpha stuff this is not the stone age and we're not cave men.

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My Er is absolutely not alpha.  Ha, half the fun for me is being able to "poke the bear", though it is a fine line.  I want to trigger the super sexy *alpha dom*, "oh you've done it now and I am.going to chuckle every time you yelp" face and spanking, not the "is this what you want, to make me spank you like this, did I dissapoint you some how, you should have spoken up!" Face and spanking. It is also a bit frustrating for me as.i woukd like be taken in hand more than he has energy for and soemtimes he doesn't even realize something is amiss lol.  But those things that frustrate ke in my spanking fantasy life are the same things that made him a good match for me as.a husband. Being calm.and slow to anger, not minding all the little.details, not taking most of.my moods personaly, being goofy and a bit bratty himself.  

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Good news - there is no such thing as an "Alpha Male" in the animal kingdom, and the research that suggested that exists was flawed and got debunked over 20 years ago. It's a debunked concept that has done a lot of damage to analysis of social structures and human behaviour as well. 


In nature, Mech writes, wolves split off from their packs when they mature, and seek out opposite-sex companions with whom to form new packs. The male and female co-dominate the new pack for a much simpler, more peaceful reason: They're the parents of all the pups.

Mech writes on his website (with the lovely title Wolf News and Info) that his original book is "currently still in print, despite my numerous pleas to the publisher to stop publishing it."

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People most often use the term 'Alpha' to mean confident, with leadership qualities. That said, if ever there was a truism, it's this: If you call yourself an Alpha male, you almost certainly aren't. 

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