If ____________________, then you might be a spanko.

[olderguy]

Similar to Jeff Foxworthy's "you might be a redneck" jokes, this is the spanko version. Think up something funny or true that indicates you might be a spanko.

I'm sure the people here are more creative than I am, but I'll start:

1. If you just built a woodshed, but your home doesn't have a fireplace, then you might be a spanko.

2. If you use more face lotions on your bottom than on your face, then you might be a spanko.

3. If every item you buy from Home Depot gets smacked against your hand first, then you might be a spanko.

[alyssandra]

If you own a hairbrush that has never touched your hair, you might be a spanko.

[Longtimespanking]

If you own a bath brush which has never been inside your bathroom, you might be a spanko. 

If you own a horsewhip but don't own a horse, you might be a spanko. 

 

[Mulege77]

If you get asked, "What do you want to watch, tonight?", and your immediate thought is, "Your ass cheeks getting bright red under my hand.", you might be a spanko.

If you own ping pong paddles, but no ping pong table, you might be a spanko.

 

[Rand E]

Every butt you see, you imagine it being spanked.  That's how my mind works.  How about you?

[Megthe]

If you ask for a new wooden spoon for your anniversary... ??

[StevenSampson]

@Megthe have you yet been spanked by a wooden spoon? Until I got my first spanking from my wife, I had no idea about the sting that thing can build on the butt! The spanks raining one after another seriously hurt more than the hairbrush... and it was only her first time lol.

[StevenSampson]

If you buy belts you wouldn’t be able to fit around your waist but are trying to fill out how thick they are... you might be a spanko.

[Megthe]

3 hours ago, StevenSampson said:

@Megthe have you yet been spanked by a wooden spoon? Until I got my first spanking from my wife, I had no idea about the sting that thing can build on the butt! The spanks raining one after another seriously hurt more than the hairbrush... and it was only her first time lol.

Yup.  We have this heavy multi colored one that is among my favorite tools.  Oh it makes me howl the sting is intense.  But I love it lol

[StevenSampson]

Lol same here.
 

Though it’s more like gasping and “ooh ahh” and “it really hurts” from me. She just says “it’s supposed to hurt” and keeps going lol. Hoping to see soon what it will be like on a wet butt. Hoping for tears one day that is my goal haha.

[olderguy]

If every time you see the word SPANAKOPITA, a food, you think it says SPANKO PITA, then you might be a spanko. :)

[TorontoExplorer]

If, when you are typing the word "speaking", the top autocorrect suggestion is "spanking", you might be a spanko.
(And potentially at risk of some major embarrassment if autocorrect is not turned off  )

[F/m_Spanking_only]

If you argue with a female and you see she is about to smack you on your arm or shoulder, you turn,.setting up for the smack to land much farther south. 

If you constantly draw yourself being spanked. 

If you "trip" and accidentally "fall" across a female friend's lap. 

 

[maelstr0m]

If you mistake a box of "Sugar Smacks" for a night of OTK.

[LateBloomer]

If you see on the wine list at a restaurant a wine called Tawse and you want to giggle.

[Lotsapappa]

If you don’t eats peas but have several frozen bags of them in your freezer, then you might be a spanko…

[OneLonelySpoon]

If your kitchen drawer is hard to open because of all the wooden spoons and spatulas inside it... you might be a spanko. 

[nicoleS39]

if....you have the strong urge to put your hands on your butt when you see a man fingering his belt buckle....then...lol

[Powpaulie]

When you mistakingly read "spankopita"..... 

Yep....got spanking on the brain! 

[Powpaulie]

When others see the possibilities of how to present it with ham, pepperoni and a variety of cheeses...oh and don't forget the wine! 

But us, spanko folk, actually see an different use for it.... It sure will bring the *Whine* out of most of us!  😉

[Saddy95]

If you intentionally pass by the hairbrushes and judge them every time you go shopping, you might be a spanko

[Longtimespanking]

When you look at the bottom of women you see in public and rate them on how spankable they appear to be, based upon size, shape, appearance......then you might be a spanko. 

[DisobedientHuby]

When seeing a spoon or brush or cutting board or stick or tree remind you of who you are 

[Bspankly]

You guys covered it pretty well. Can we play mad libs next?

[NeedDiscipline9]

When you go shopping at a giant hardware box store and eye up all the potential spanking implements - you might be a spanko!