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If ____________________, then you might be a spanko.


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Similar to Jeff Foxworthy's "you might be a redneck" jokes, this is the spanko version. Think up something funny or true that indicates you might be a spanko.

I'm sure the people here are more creative than I am, but I'll start:

1. If you just built a woodshed, but your home doesn't have a fireplace, then you might be a spanko.

2. If you use more face lotions on your bottom than on your face, then you might be a spanko.

3. If every item you buy from Home Depot gets smacked against your hand first, then you might be a spanko.

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  • 4 weeks later...

If you get asked, "What do you want to watch, tonight?", and your immediate thought is, "Your ass cheeks getting bright red under my hand.", you might be a spanko.

If you own ping pong paddles, but no ping pong table, you might be a spanko.


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3 hours ago, StevenSampson said:

@Megthe have you yet been spanked by a wooden spoon? Until I got my first spanking from my wife, I had no idea about the sting that thing can build on the butt! The spanks raining one after another seriously hurt more than the hairbrush... and it was only her first time lol.

Yup.  We have this heavy multi colored one that is among my favorite tools.  Oh it makes me howl the sting is intense.  But I love it lol

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Lol same here.

Though it’s more like gasping and “ooh ahh” and “it really hurts” from me. She just says “it’s supposed to hurt” and keeps going lol. Hoping to see soon what it will be like on a wet butt. Hoping for tears one day that is my goal haha.

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When others see the possibilities of how to present it with ham, pepperoni and a variety of cheeses...oh and don't forget the wine! 

But us, spanko folk, actually see an different use for it.... It sure will bring the *Whine* out of most of us!  😉


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