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Can you tell who is a spankophile through nonverbal cues?


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I think if somebody suggests that you go back to their place, sits you down with a glass of wine while they get changed and then appears naked from the waist down handing you an instrument of correction as they bend over a chair with their bare bottom on display, it could possibly (just possibly) be interpreted as a “non-verbal clue” that they might be a spanko.

(Now where is that tongue-in-cheek icon?)

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I kid you not, that actually happened to me once. I was married and working at a small, old-fashioned dairy. One day a man came up to the cash register where I was standing and announced in a smiling,

I agree with the vibe. I can usually detect a vanilla right away, without even conversing with him for long. Occasionally I pick up a spanko vibe in men who have played with the idea of being spanked

Wish I'd stumble across a guy wearing a shirt that said this!  

1 hour ago, Hotspur said:

I think if somebody suggests that you go back to their place, sits you down with a glass of wine while they get changed and then appears naked from the waist down handing you an instrument of correction as they bend over a chair with their bare bottom on display, it could possibly (just possibly) be interpreted as a “non-verbal clue” that they might be a spanko.

(Now where is that tongue-in-cheek icon?)

Maybe I should try this with the hubbs?!  

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10 hours ago, Chawsee said:

Wish I'd stumble across a guy wearing a shirt that said this! ;) 

What if instead, "someone" just ran into You, and said, "i wish You would Paddle me!"? ... or, "i hope You Paddle me!"? ... or even other lightly disguised suggestions?

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1 hour ago, Megthe said:

Maybe I should try this with the hubbs?!  

Yeah, he really needs to know you're a spanko! I mean, what are you waiting for? :lol:

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On 2/2/2021 at 9:15 PM, Chawsee said:

What you said here is pretty much spot-on as to why I'm not a fan of brutal sessions, so at least you explained it accurately.

But your mouth has indeed gotten you into a bit of trouble today, hasn't it? We'll be tending to that later.... 

Can you find it in your tender heart to forgive me??? Sorrrrrry!  {puppy dog eyes} 🐶

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5 hours ago, ammon said:

What if instead, "someone" just ran into You, and said, "i wish You would Paddle me!"? ... or, "i hope You Paddle me!"? ... or even other lightly disguised suggestions?

LOL, I’d love to see this!  

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On 2/3/2021 at 11:33 AM, ammon said:

Y'all have come up with some very clever and humorous self-identification measures. My first thought was, what a great idea--more connections!

However, suppose i were wearing an eeee pin in a professional setting, or even a few other settings. Then, someone recognizes it and knows what it is. Maybe he, or she, is familiar with SpankingNeeds. So, he comes to SpankingNeeds and checks who is from Utah--not difficult, only a few Utahns have registered over many years. He sees my profile, my age, and what city i live in. Now, he knows exactly who i am professionally and at SpankingNeeds. Then he checks my activity. i have over 1200 posts, many describing paddlings i've had, wanted, and needed. He then decides to take advantage of my status (and submissiveness). This could / would lead to professional difficulties, disappointments, and challenges. It could lead to blackmail. It could lead to exposing me all around. These would be very uncomfortable situations.

So, let's see...a possibility of a connection and spankings, versus extreme discomfort and likely serious problems professionally and personally. How do you think the risk assessment is going to go? Okay, think tank participants, can you find some work-arounds??

Agreed.  People who scoff at the need for privacy don’t understand what it’s like to have a career that anything about a person perceived as perverted could be used against them.

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10 hours ago, Bramblewine said:

Yeah, he really needs to know you're a spanko! I mean, what are you waiting for? :lol:

Lmao he does know, he just can't keep up with me.  I am nearly insatiable it seems.  I try being cute, wiggling my bum at him, light bratting, and even telling him."you should probably spank me for that".  I said it so much he thought I must be joking cus who would want to be spanked that often...  😣  really he spanks several time s a week usually... But i always want more!

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51 minutes ago, Megthe said:

Lmao he does know, he just can't keep up with me.  I am nearly insatiable it seems.  I try being cute, wiggling my bum at him, light bratting, and even telling him."you should probably spank me for that".  I said it so much he thought I must be joking cus who would want to be spanked that often...  😣  really he spanks several time s a week usually... But i always want more!

When you're the partner with the higher drive, it's never enough.

I mean that in more ways than one.

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13 hours ago, ammon said:

What if instead, "someone" just ran into You, and said, "i wish You would Paddle me!"? ... or, "i hope You Paddle me!"? ... or even other lightly disguised suggestions?

I kid you not, that actually happened to me once. I was married and working at a small, old-fashioned dairy. One day a man came up to the cash register where I was standing and announced in a smiling, playful way that he'd like me to spank him. One of my coworkers was a large, goofy-humored fellow in his 30s who was working the ice cream counter to my left. He laughingly piped up, "I'll spank you!" This fellow replied, "Nope, I want her to spank me." I was mortified, so embarrassed that I don't remember even responding.

Once home, I told my husband about this incident. He turned from cheerful to irate, blasting his rebuttal into the air, as if telling the man off to his face. "Who the hell do you think you are, making a pass at my wife like that? I'm the only one she spanks!" I thought this was an interesting response from him, considering he didn't even like to be spanked, and he spanked me more often than I spanked him.

Spanking was my dark secret, and back then I did everything I could to hide this part of myself. If spanking came up in a conversation with friends or coworkers, I never commented, and if anything, I changed the subject. I never did see that man again, but I'll forever remember that day. Looking back on it, what's most interesting is that somehow he picked up an unspoken spanko vibe in me. 

Today, being out of the closet with my spanking lifestyle, I would handle such a comment in stride, replying with something like, "You sure about that? Be careful what you wish for, young man, because you don't want to know how fast I could grab you and pull you over my knee!"

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On 10/13/2020 at 9:05 PM, Spankenstein said:

Probably not. We are secretive bunch for sure...

I agree. We are an extremely secretive bunch so I'm not sure what, if any verbal cues would be any sort of hint. I'm extremely guarded about my love of spanking. It's a deep secret buried FAR beneath the surface. I have a code of Omerta when it comes to spanking. 

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On 2/4/2021 at 10:03 PM, Megthe said:

Lmao he does know, he just can't keep up with me.  I am nearly insatiable it seems.  I try being cute, wiggling my bum at him, light bratting, and even telling him."you should probably spank me for that".  I said it so much he thought I must be joking cus who would want to be spanked that often...  😣  really he spanks several time s a week usually... But i always want more!

Cheers to all of us who are insatiable spankos! 🥂

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my Husband says the size and shape of my butt, plus the way it moves when i walk, plus my submissive temperament, just “beg” for spanking in a way that’s obvious.

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On 2/5/2021 at 12:05 AM, Chawsee said:

I kid you not, that actually happened to me once. I was married and working at a small, old-fashioned dairy. One day a man came up to the cash register where I was standing and announced in a smiling, playful way that he'd like me to spank him. One of my coworkers was a large, goofy-humored fellow in his 30s who was working the ice cream counter to my left. He laughingly piped up, "I'll spank you!" This fellow replied, "Nope, I want her to spank me." I was mortified, so embarrassed that I don't remember even responding.

Once home, I told my husband about this incident. He turned from cheerful to irate, blasting his rebuttal into the air, as if telling the man off to his face. "Who the hell do you think you are, making a pass at my wife like that? I'm the only one she spanks!" I thought this was an interesting response from him, considering he didn't even like to be spanked, and he spanked me more often than I spanked him.

Spanking was my dark secret, and back then I did everything I could to hide this part of myself. If spanking came up in a conversation with friends or coworkers, I never commented, and if anything, I changed the subject. I never did see that man again, but I'll forever remember that day. Looking back on it, what's most interesting is that somehow he picked up an unspoken spanko vibe in me. 

Today, being out of the closet with my spanking lifestyle, I would handle such a comment in stride, replying with something like, "You sure about that? Be careful what you wish for, young man, because you don't want to know how fast I could grab you and pull you over my knee!"

I didn’t know you back then but could well believe you were shy and would be embarrassed by such a bold approach from someone.  You have a quiet way about you still.  But you hold your own now - that I know.  In my head I can hear you saying “You sure about that? Be careful what you wish for,  young man, because you don’t want to know how fast I could grab you and pull you over my knee!”  Oh yeah, that’s Miss Chawsee!!  😂

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  • 2 weeks later...

There was one non-verbal clue I was able to pickup through my many years of experience and keen insight to the human psyche:

   The large letters on her very visible t-shirt that said:  "You're a Naughty Boy - Go to My Room".   Absolutely true.   On the first date.  She had no reason to presume that I was open to anything like that !!

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