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Ethics of Seeking Spankings Outside of Marriage


paddlemepls

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10 hours ago, Dutch said:

 

My debate with myself is; if I were to be spanked by another man - and that idea interests me - would it be cheating? Being spanked by a man wouldn't be a sexual thing for me, but I think I would enjoy it.

 

Good question, and I don't think there's a simple yes or no answer. Some people feel it's only cheating if you seek what your partner can give you from someone else (without the partner's consent, of course). So if your partner is female and you have sex with her, having sex with another woman would be cheating. But if you wanted sex with a man, that wouldn't be cheating by that definition, because sex with a man isn't something your female partner can give you.

By another definition, sex with a man when you have a female partner would be cheating, because sex is supposed to be reserved for your partner, no matter which genders are involved. How do you see it? How does your partner see it?

Spanking is, to my mind, another level removed. It's not something your partner can give you, at least not in the way you need it, and it's not sex, it's not something you're expected to share with your partner, let alone reserve for your partner. But because it can potentially be sexual, some might see it as cheating. The gender thing removes it another level. If you really want a spanking from a man, your partner couldn't give you that even if she were into spanking you. And she might feel less threatened than if you sought spanking from another woman. Kind of like lots of people in hetero relationships feel some jealousy and insecurity about their partners' platonic opposite sex friends, but not about same sex friends, even if neither friend is really competition.

 

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Agreed. 
 

My wife is vanilla but understands that I’m not.  It’s not like she never gets spanked but she prefers that I save the discipline and any real spanking for others. There is no sex with anyone else. 

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