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Paying for a spanking

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I am interested in hearing about others experiences with paying someone to spank them. Is a professional spanker worth the investment, and what are the legalities of an exchange with spanking? 

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6 hours ago, insearchofotk20 said:

I am interested in hearing about others experiences with paying someone to spank them. Is a professional spanker worth the investment, and what are the legalities of an exchange with spanking? 

If clothes are removed and genitals unveiled, it becomes prostitution.

I never paid for spanking or being spanked. I did not even rent a whore. I have been offered money though, but I turned it down.

I believe pro spankers charge around the neighborhood of $150 for a session, it seems like a lot of dough when you can get a full-body one hour massage for $60.

Bear in mind that your Swedish massage can get rough and take you somewhat into the mindframe of being spanked, I said somewhat. I would wager there are ladies that will offer nontraditional "massage" too, it is merely striking the buttocks after all which is kinda a massage isn't it? Be sure to tip very well if you find one. Recommend: Asian parlors. The American ones tend to be uptight and all worried, the Asian ones, well they can shuffle personnel around if they need to.

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I have seen a Professional Disciplinarian, she was a regular looking woman from the grocery store. She was very professional, experienced and a true spanko at heart. She never undressed and remained dressed as you would in public. She charged $300 for the complete session. We talked, discussed why I was there, what I wanted and expected, what did I intend to accomplish, Did I have any concerns, what did I want he to know, etc ... I undressed and  then the spanking began. It was long, building, hard, but well paced and kept me on the edge of my limits. She Spanked me with her hand, paddles, straps, cane, loopy Johnny, etc. I needed to surrender to her and accept the punishment she decided I needed. She pushed me to expand my limits but watched how I reacted and backed down as needed, And increased the level as I accepted and accepted.
 

I never experienced anything like this. I was a spanker for the majority of my life. After a long time, I felt myself trembling, shaking .. then began sweating .. she kept going .. I was not sure how much more I could take, The pain seemed unmanageable, but I want to be spanked to her sastifaction, I wanted her to have control and decide how much was enough. I needed this to feel I had paid my dues, if I stopped it I did not pay, I would still have guilt. I was determined to hang on and she continued to spank me .. watching me and continuing to change the force and implements pushing me to take more, helping me find my real limit no the one I thought I had. I suddenly felt relaxed, calm, a wave of peacefulness, I felt my whole body go limp. She continued to spank me but it was not so bad now, the rhythm of the spanking was like breathing. It was calming peaceful.. I could feel all the stress, guilt, frustration with life flowing out of me. She stop.

She stood next to me and talked to me in a very calm voice reassuring me. Telling me she was very proud of me, I took the punishment very well, I accepted what she thought was appropriate and then she said she gave me some more just so we both could be sure.

she help me stand up, from the spanking bench I was laying over. Once I was standing she looked me in the eyes and reappeared how proud she was of me and hugged me, as she was hugging me I began to cry. 
 

This is certainly not for everyone. I rested, got dressed, drank some water, we talked a little while about the whole event and our feelings. I had bruises for almost 2 weeks and it hurt to walk, stand, sit and lay for days. But the experience made life a whole lot better and thought me things I may not have learned about myself.

It was the Best $300 I ever spent on myself. 
 

 

 

 

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I have paid to be spanked, and I total support and recommend it.  I don’t think it is sex work, but I also wouldn’t care if it was.  You are hiring a *professional* to do something that requires skill and experience.  Just like hiring a nurse, a message therapist, an acupuncturist, a life coach, a mental health professional, etc.  Sometimes we need help.  Sometimes we need to feel right.  Seriously it is benign.

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I have gone to a professional a number of times. For me, it's actually cheaper than most of my other alternatives which include potential travel and also renting a place for the session when neither of us can host.

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I have encouraged "newbies" to seek out professionals. Most importantly, because you are paying them, the sessions are fully tailored to your wants/needs. Also, they are a WEALTH  of information about TTWD. They can advise you in how to safely seek out ER's, know most of the local *creeper/stalker* ER's. They'll teach you about implements, limits, how to establish them and about the power dynamics.  Think of them as your own personal tutor, helping to introduce you to this lifestyle. Good luck and be safe!

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I saw a professional regularly for thirteen years. While law may disagree, I did not see paying her as hiring a prostitute, even with the first couple spankings having my penis bare too. Obligatory I am not a lawyer: even if no money changes hands law tends not to be on the spanker’s side if someone takes their spanked butt to the police.

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32 minutes ago, Zhal said:

Obligatory I am not a lawyer: even if no money changes hands law tends not to be on the spanker’s side if someone takes their spanked butt to the police.

Yup, 100%. In the UK the law explicitly states that you can't consent to any form of GBH (I think that's the exact wording anyway).

Rather concerning from a spanker point of view, though I'm not sure there have been many prosecutions.

On the subject of whether to do it or not, I'd say go for it if its something you want to do. Though I'd recommend following the same safety procedures as you would when there is no exchange of money (make sure they're willing and able to meet your needs, have a phone conversation/video chat beforehand and verify that they are who they say they are.)

Not something I'd want to do myself as I prefer to build a genuine connection with spanking partners and I feel an exchange of money would not allow for this. 

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Obligatory disclaimer: This is not legal advice, so please don't take it as such.  It is just provided for informational purposes only.

On the legality of paying someone for a spanking, the short answer is it depends.  Every jurisdiction has slightly differently worded statutes for prostitution, and slightly different interpretations of those statutes.  After a cursory search I was not able to find any cases from anywhere where someone had been convicted of prostitution for engaging in spanking or BDSM activities, and the majority of cases dealt with whether other sexual acts (besides sex) might meet the definition fitting the elements of prostitution.   A lot of states have expanded the definition of sexual conduct over the last several years beyond male-female intercourse to include other acts, and some things (such as oral sex) would clearly fall under the expanded definitions, while others clearly do not (i.e. Sports Massage).

The one case I was able to find any discussion of BDSM was a criminal prosecution in New York State from 30 years ago.  The judge in this case commented on the definition of "sexual conduct" and did not find spanking, foot licking, and BDSM activities in general to fit within the definition under the New York statute.  (People v. Georgia A., 163 Misc. 2d 634, 621 N.Y.S.2d 779 (Crim. Ct. 1994)).  Take this case with a grain of salt - it's an old case and its not from an appellate court, but it's the only thing out there.

On the other hand, some states have a more expansive definition of "sexual conduct" such as Virginia, which provides among other things, that any person who "touches the unclothed genitals or anus of another person with the intent to sexually arouse or gratify" is guilty of prostitution.  It might be a plausible defense that there was no intent of sexual gratification or that "buttocks" do not fall under "genitals or anus".  (A cursory search didn't reveal any cases expounding further on this - but I think such a defense could work)  Whether a prosecutor would even bring charges is a completely different issue.  They don't like to charge cases they might lose, and in a case with no clear "victim" and murky law, I can't imagine they would be in a rush to do so with all the other cases on their dockets.

Bottom line - it seems to me to be a legal gray area, but it also seems unlikely to ever be ever prosecuted if all that occurs is a consensual spanking for money.

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I’m going to assume GBH stands for Great (or Grievous) Bodily Harm, depending on how scary Britons like to be in their legal definitions.

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23 minutes ago, Zhal said:

I’m going to assume GBH stands for Great (or Grievous) Bodily Harm, depending on how scary Britons like to be in their legal definitions.

Grievous, spot on :).

We are a little overboard with some of our words xD 

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Paying someone for a spanking session does NOT equal prostitution. By that same logic, couldn't a visit to a doctor's office be considered prostitution? Aren't male genitals exposed during a prostate exam? And isn't the doctor being paid? So no, it's not prostitution. And any prosecutor or district attorney would be wasting their time trying to get a conviction. Let's put it this way, if someone can be charged with prostitution (for paying for a spanking session) and jailed as a result, then I'd have been in Leavenworth by now LOL. 

As for paying for a spanking, there is no right or wrong answer. It all depends. Sometimes there is just no other choice if someone really wants to experience it. And that's not a knock on the person paying. Sometimes, options may be extremely limited. Look at it this way. It's a service. No mechanic is going to fix your car for free. So why should a professional disciplinarian not be compensated. I've been to professional disciplinarians and I have always come away feeling like I got my money's worth plus some. 

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For some paying to be spanked is the only option available to them.  I don't have much opportunity to partake in spanking and in 20 years since I discovered this world via the internet I have been able to get spanked 14 times.  All but one of those times I paid a women for this service.  To be honest it had mixed results, I don't fault the spankers themselves.  Some of these were done without much communication, which now I know is essential to a fulfilling experience. Some at the time were quite disappointing for the time, money and emotional energy I put into making it happen.  But in retrospect I'm glad I did every one, because I learned more about myself, and how to approach future sessions.     

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On 9/8/2020 at 7:14 PM, SteveSpank said:

I have seen a Professional Disciplinarian, she was a regular looking woman from the grocery store. She was very professional, experienced and a true spanko at heart. She never undressed and remained dressed as you would in public. She charged $300 for the complete session. We talked, discussed why I was there, what I wanted and expected, what did I intend to accomplish, Did I have any concerns, what did I want he to know, etc ... I undressed and  then the spanking began. It was long, building, hard, but well paced and kept me on the edge of my limits. She Spanked me with her hand, paddles, straps, cane, loopy Johnny, etc. I needed to surrender to her and accept the punishment she decided I needed. She pushed me to expand my limits but watched how I reacted and backed down as needed, And increased the level as I accepted and accepted.
 

I never experienced anything like this. I was a spanker for the majority of my life. After a long time, I felt myself trembling, shaking .. then began sweating .. she kept going .. I was not sure how much more I could take, The pain seemed unmanageable, but I want to be spanked to her sastifaction, I wanted her to have control and decide how much was enough. I needed this to feel I had paid my dues, if I stopped it I did not pay, I would still have guilt. I was determined to hang on and she continued to spank me .. watching me and continuing to change the force and implements pushing me to take more, helping me find my real limit no the one I thought I had. I suddenly felt relaxed, calm, a wave of peacefulness, I felt my whole body go limp. She continued to spank me but it was not so bad now, the rhythm of the spanking was like breathing. It was calming peaceful.. I could feel all the stress, guilt, frustration with life flowing out of me. She stop.

She stood next to me and talked to me in a very calm voice reassuring me. Telling me she was very proud of me, I took the punishment very well, I accepted what she thought was appropriate and then she said she gave me some more just so we both could be sure.

she help me stand up, from the spanking bench I was laying over. Once I was standing she looked me in the eyes and reappeared how proud she was of me and hugged me, as she was hugging me I began to cry. 
 

This is certainly not for everyone. I rested, got dressed, drank some water, we talked a little while about the whole event and our feelings. I had bruises for almost 2 weeks and it hurt to walk, stand, sit and lay for days. But the experience made life a whole lot better and thought me things I may not have learned about myself.

It was the Best $300 I ever spent on myself. 
 

Sounds like fun to me, thank you for describing what I can only experience vicariously. I think we all appreciate your candor and openness as shown by the many like's you received.

Maybe you are more affluent than me, but I'd have a problem with the cost, I even fret over what I paid for the two massages I bought earlier this year. One was $120 + $20 tip for one hour full body followed by one hour foot massage at my favorite Asian parlor. The lady was thin, not too big typical Asian woman, it is amazing the strength in her though. She was quite proper, not like the first one that was heftier and took bold liberties on both sides, which I liked.

Two hours was too long and got tedious for both of us. Being thin, she lacked stamina, big time, and I could tell she was tired after the first hour and needed a break, but she kept going, and I felt like the first hour was enough for me. Also it is a lot of money when you think about it, I can live without it. As for spanking, I can't imagine paying for it, if someone does not want to do it then I would rely on my current method which is porn (dallasspankshard is a good web site for that) and spanking literature, both reading and writing.

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