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Skibum54

The ebb and flow.

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Do you find your desires for spanking, either getting or giving ebb and flow at times ?  Sometimes I can go a while and my interest will wane, then I'll get on a wave were it's all I can think about at times. 

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I, too, experience this. The more I focus on it, the more it consumes my thinking. I just spent half a month without internet. No SN, no emails from spanko buddies, no OTK videos, no planned spanking with my partner... It really calmed things down for me. I shifted my focus to some respected books on trauma bonding and wove what I learned into a deeper, clearer understanding of the affects of this phenomenon on spankees. So while I did still think about the big "S," this time it was with a focus on the psychological affects. I also spent more time with my closest female friend, who is vanilla, which likely had a positive affect on me. I'm afraid, though, that after 15 days away from all this spanking stimulation, I'm back and on overdrive. 

:swordfight:

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Sure. If I'm very busy, it ebbs. My mind is elsewhere. It flows when I have the time and mental space to be thinking much about sexy things. Even in the "sexy things" realm, how strongly I desire spanking can vary, but it never goes away entirely. It's always, at the very least, my main self arousing fantasy.

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Definitely yes.  Sometimes I need it so bad I’m going crazy and sometimes my need diminishes to the point where I ponder that maybe it went away forever.  It always comes back in full force though.  

Here is a follow up question:  What is it like for you when you spank / get spanked while your desire is low?

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On 9/2/2020 at 6:28 PM, Chawsee said:

I, too, experience this. The more I focus on it, the more it consumes my thinking. I just spent half a month without internet. No SN, no emails from spanko buddies, no OTK videos, no planned spanking with my partner... It really calmed things down for me. I shifted my focus to some respected books on trauma bonding and wove what I learned into a deeper, clearer understanding of the affects of this phenomenon on spankees. So while I did still think about the big "S," this time it was with a focus on the psychological affects. I also spent more time with my closest female friend, who is vanilla, which likely had a positive affect on me. I'm afraid, though, that after 15 days away from all this spanking stimulation, I'm back and on overdrive. 

:swordfight:

Welcome back, Chawsee!! i'm glad you're on "overdrive!!" (now, if only W/we were closer!!)  Also, i'd be very interested in what You learned about trauma bonding on spankees. Seems like a very relevant topic. Pleas share what You can... ...and thanks for returning!!  (although i wish You'd quit enticing me to read all of Your intriguing posts!!)

On 9/3/2020 at 8:42 AM, pavium said:

Here is a follow up question:  What is it like for you when you spank / get spanked while your desire is low?

i doubt that i experience much of a low desire for a paddling, but i think it would be just as effective, or maybe even more effective. Around 28 years ago, an ex paddled me severely for something i had not done. i probably wasn't super keen for a paddling for that, but consented...undressed, and got into position...and more. Although traumatic, i'd definitely do so again. i probably need paddlings like that one.

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13 minutes ago, ammon said:

Welcome back, Chawsee!! i'm glad you're on "overdrive!!" (now, if only W/we were closer!!)  Also, i'd be very interested in what You learned about trauma bonding on spankees. Seems like a very relevant topic. Pleas share what You can... ...and thanks for returning!!  (although i wish You'd quit enticing me to read all of Your intriguing posts!!)

Thanks, friend. :) For a little insight into what I'm gleaning from my current study on trauma bonding, go to my profile and read the "About Me" section. That will shed some light on it. Feel free to contact me directly if you have questions. I may be able to answer them, but if I can't, I will tell you that honestly and point you to some very eye-opening books.

Okay, so how am I "enticing" you to read my posts?? :blink: You are good about somehow always finding them, though. Detective Ammon.... :lol:

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24 minutes ago, ammon said:

Around 28 years ago, an ex paddled me severely for something i had not done. i probably wasn't super keen for a paddling for that, but consented...undressed, and got into position...and more. Although traumatic, i'd definitely do so again. i probably need paddlings like that one.

I have experienced that.  I have also experienced starting a spanking thinking I was in the right and coming out regretting my behavior, seeing the error of my ways.  It is powerful magic.  Being punished for something you didn’t do sucks, but has also worked for me as fantasy material later on.  Self righteous indignation plus a spanking!  You said you would do it again (so would I).  Care to talk about why?

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33 minutes ago, Chawsee said:

Thanks, friend. :) For a little insight into what I'm gleaning from my current study on trauma bonding, go to my profile and read the "About Me" section. That will shed some light on it. Feel free to contact me directly if you have questions. I may be able to answer them, but if I can't, I will tell you that honestly and point you to some very eye-opening books.

Okay, so how am I "enticing" you to read my posts?? :blink: You are good about somehow always finding them, though. Detective Ammon.... :lol:

From Your Profile, Chawsee: "Will the spanking you get from me hurt?... yes, it will most definitely hurt. Will the spanking continue after you'd like it to end? No doubt in my mind. Do I scold? You betcha!"

Seems like an interesting topic (trauma bonding) that could have many facets. i've always felt that a spankee feels a bond with the spanker. That may come from exposing vulnerability and addressing deep seated needs, and respect and honor. You expressed that in the quote from Your profile, too...all of which would benefit me a lot...and makes me want to meet You!

hmmm....okay, i admit i look for Your posts! You are very enticing, Your posts are enticing, Your thoughts and expressions are clear, lucid, and make sense...i like to see what You are thinking...maybe reading Your posts makes me feel, in some crazy way, closer to You? ... Stop the stream of dreams!!??

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42 minutes ago, pavium said:

I have experienced that.  I have also experienced starting a spanking thinking I was in the right and coming out regretting my behavior, seeing the error of my ways.  It is powerful magic.  Being punished for something you didn’t do sucks, but has also worked for me as fantasy material later on.  Self righteous indignation plus a spanking!  You said you would do it again (so would I).  Care to talk about why?

Hi, Pavium....

Sure, i could talk more about why i'd submit again...if you'd like, and you should share too! Briefly, though, the paddling required me to submit. It was severe, and hurt more than any paddling i've had. My bum was swollen afterward, and the pain and bruising lasted 3 weeks. During that time (and afterward, almost even now) i had no choice but to keep thinking about the paddling. i think it helped me focus on my other responsibilities, too. Unfortunately, it also made me need more paddling. i'm sure there's more to it, but that's the synopsis. Thanks for your interest and comments!

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So @Skibum54, don't leave us hanging.... Inquiring minds want to know: Are you on the ebb or the flow right now? :)

 

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I tend to be like that or my emphasis will change - for instance of late I've started to swing back to the whole ageplay/mdlb type scene ( albeit without a domme right now ). It can get pretty depressing not having someone to play with though. Sometimes I just have to find something to distract me from it all that has nothing to do with spanking. 

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23 hours ago, Chawsee said:

So @Skibum54, don't leave us hanging.... Inquiring minds want to know: Are you on the ebb or the flow right now? :)

 

Still waters run deep my friend. 

 

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