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I found the extra spanking a strain, but I think that they have made me stronger, I can't wait for college to begin again in September and for things to get back to normal. Benjamin if you have any questions for your thesis please PM me.

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I found the extra spanking a strain, but I think that they have made me stronger, I can't wait for college to begin again in September and for things to get back to normal. Benjamin if you have any questions for your thesis please PM me.

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14 minutes ago, TCC said:

I found the extra spanking a strain, but I think that they have made me stronger, I can't wait for college to begin again in September and for things to get back to normal. Benjamin if you have any questions for your thesis please PM me.

Please, I  will.

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I believe that if one needs correction and guidance and it can be carried out in such a way that both parties benefit and through mutual agreement help with bettering oneself.

If instilling discipline can be done without uneccesary brutality but with firmness to educate and enlighten and wake the soul then that is a good thing. ūüėä

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On 7/29/2020 at 7:19 PM, BenjaminBoy said:

Hello Traddad4u,

I totally agree. I have been in need of regular discipline and punishment all my life to keep me well balanced. 

It is not about sex, it never has been. It is about punishment and absolution.

And accountabilitu

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7 hours ago, bigbumjohnny said:

If instilling discipline can be done without uneccesary brutality but with firmness to educate and enlighten and wake the soul then that is a good thing. ūüėä

Absolutely spot-on.

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I have mixed feelings about real punishment.  I am a spanko but I’m also a submissive in an FLR.  A lot of people who I talk to and who’s opinions I’ve read don’t believe in real punishment.  Or rather, they separate funishment from punishment.  Some people think any spanking is fun and therefore a gift.  It is a gift, but it is often something other than fun.

Our compromise is that relationship level problems are handled differently from trivial rule breaking.  We deal with serious issues as a couple by talking.  But if I break a non-serious rule (of which there are many), then I will get a punishment/funishment spanking.  For example, I’m not allowed to place glass cups into the sink.  I got a short hard, no-warm up hair brushing for that last week.  I got to feel all those feelings in the pit of my stomach.  I want that in our dynamic and I have asked for that, and she enjoys it.  But if I broke a relationship agreement, that is not how we would deal with it.  I would argue that it is light hearted, but also that it is real.  If hurts a lot, and it is not a reward.  I crave that feeling of authenticity in the discipline dynamic.  I would call it a very strong want.

I have also seen a professional disciplinarian for an extended period of time in the past. There were real consequences when I failed to live to a high standard that I had a greed to.  There was also maintenance.  Highs and lows.  I learned that the punishment wasn’t a deterrent, but it was a way to process my feelings and a way to feel supported.  I thought of her as my backstop.  When I was weak, she was strong and made me feel it.  I did feel a significant desire to impress her and to not let her down, and I had a way to process feelings of failure when necessary.  I also felt a connection and acceptance that has been rare in my life.

Eventually things changed and it was over.  I was able to realize that I had  grown confident in myself and that ultimately I was powerful and responsible for my success.  Now I am not sure if I could do that again.  Probably yes, since there is something hardwired in me.  I am happy though to have lighthearted rules now.

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