Jump to content
Spanking Needs Forums

never been spanked but interested!

Recommended Posts

Hi, so I have been reading other people's thoughts on here. How do people find someone to discipline them the way they want? It seems like there are a lot of creepy guys who are into spanking. So how do you guys find someone trustworthy? Has anyone told a vanilla partner that was into it?

Link to post

Best way is to either chat with people on this site or others I have actually found the chat room here really useful for meeting and talking to like minded people, with it being more public, people generally tend to keep it clean and respectful. Get a good feel for what someone is like,  what they're about and how they would be interested in. 

Another way would be to attend local spanking events nearby if there are any once the pandemic starts to clear out.

It was slowly eased in to a past relationship of mine, but it never went as far as full discipline. 

Good luck with your search :)

  • Like 1
Link to post

Take your time and get to know the well before proceeding. Safety first. While there are some who are creepy most people here are good and decent. Just take your time and feel things out.


Link to post

As the others have stated, just take your time and get to know someone. If you ever do decide to meet anyone, use a safe call and meet in a public place before hand. Reading the safety discussions will also help you navigate the issue better.

As far as a vanilla partner goes, I don't have any experience with that but there are PLENTY of threads scattered throughout the forums discussing that exact issue. You may find some useful tips there.

Good luck in finding what you're looking for!

Link to post

Hi @gplove. I suggest perusing the site first, reading discussion threads about topics that interest you. You'll get a sense of how different people think and you'll notice one or two who stand out to you. When you come across this individual who feels like they're on the same wavelength that you are, check out their profile, learn more about them, see if they identify as a spanker, etc. If the boxes all check, shoot them a private message and introduce yourself. They may accept outside spankees. If not, no loss. You may have just made a new friend. Also, be sure to check out the regional directory here on SN to see who's available in your area.

While meeting in the chatroom is fine, more honesty emerges behind closed doors. Without an audience censoring what is said, you'll get a more candid view of what he's like one-on-one. From there, follow the safety guidelines here on the site, put effort into getting to know him first, and stay closely attuned to your gut feeling. Best of luck to you. 🌷

  • Like 1
Link to post

I have a former vanilla partner, of 30plus years now who is an enthusiastic bottom and top. It took a while but I persevered and it’s great.

Two great references for this are 1) Google Jillian Keenan, the author. Find her site and tap About Me. There’s a great article about her coming out to her husband. 2) Google New Beginnings.Another good site for this. And My Bottom Smarts is just a great site.

Good luck, it’s worth worth working on..lol

Kurt and Karen

  • Like 1
Link to post


There is a lot of sound, good advice here. 

My advice is small steps if you are looking for a relationship you need more than spanking, discipline and rules with consequences. You need similar vanilla interests. Find someone you can trust and love. Trust in giving you the discipline you want or the discipline you decide on together. Love as in your life together.

If you decide to meet someone to satisfy your spanking needs. Discuss openly with them and explain your needs fully. Any self respecting spanker will want to deliver spanking sessions to suit you. They will have a reputation to keep. If you have any doubts listen to them and stop any contact.

Always proceed with caution. Take your time. Chat on site. Chat on messenger. Chat on video. Ask to see the area they use when spanking. If you want to explore more than the otk hand spanking, ask to see their implements. If you feel comfortable talk on the phone. Never feel rushed or feel pressured, your safety and security is paramount. If you decide to meet, think about texting a close friend before, during and after. The final text should include a word known only to you and your friend. Something random. Maybe think of meeting in public more than once before you have a session.

A bit over the top maybe but you do mention ‘creeps’.

Take care and stay safe.

Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...