Jump to content
Create New...

Fantasy vs Reality


Recommended Posts

Just curious to learn a little about how you took your fantasy/curiosity in spanking to reality ... For those who started mainly with online only chatting/self spanking/etc ... what was the turning point for making the switch to reality and finally getting spanked (as an adult) or giving a spanking in real life?

How did you meet your first spanker/spankee (as an adult)? 

How has the fantasy of what you imagined spanking to be like (as an adult) differed from what you actually experienced when it became reality? 

If you could give any advice to your old self before you experienced your first real (adult) spanking what would it be?

Link to comment

I finally looked for a real spanking when I was in my late twenties (from a newsgroup).  Even then, I rarely had the courage to find a spanker and kept mostly to fantasy.  I had to work on myself  to feel like I was okay.  Around 30 I finally started dating in the BDSM scene.  For me there was a big difference between fantasy and reality.

Even now in my forties I feel like I barely have that worked out.  What I want has changed. When I was younger I just wanted someone, anyone, to spank me!  Now I want to admire and trust my spanker.  I need connection to benefit fully from the possible headspace available to me.  That feeling of acceptance and belonging, as well as physical and emotional satisfaction, is way better than even my best guilty fantasy.

My advice for my past self would be to fully embrace what I am and to find my people ASAP.  Don’t run, but do walk towards other people like myself.  Yes, get spanked, but also build family. Trust that the fantasy is not out there, but that reality is more rewarding.

PS A final observation is that spankings hurt a lot more in reality then they ever do in fantasy.  :)

  • Like 2
Link to comment

I found myself at a point in life where things had fallen apart in my personal life. I had been interested and curious (very interested and very curious) for a long time before and I felt like I really didn't have anything left to lose. There was a friend who I knew was into it and was well connected with other people who were into it and I told her I wanted to try it. I didn't know if it was going to be anything like I expected or not but I wouldn't have been able to look myself in the mirror if I didn't try it. So I tried it, first as a bottom and then later as a top. I took to it in no time. 

It's been one of the best and most beneficial decisions I've ever made. 

Link to comment

I think the biggest difference between fantasy and reality is it hurts more than you imagined it would. You need to be prepared for that. 

I met my first EE at a kinky social event. Ditto for most of the others through munches, etc. although I am pretty well networked these days and they tend to find me. I was actually pretty nervous giving my first few spankings, especially the ones that were disciplinary as opposed to just for fun because I didn't really know what I was doing.

If I could give my old self advice it would be "What are you waiting for? Life is short."

Link to comment

For years I believed that I was a one-in-a million freak. It's thanks to the Internet - with sites like this one - that I now realise that there are lots of like-minded people out there and I've been able to make contact with many of them online and/or in person. So it was late in life that I was able to act out my fantasies by receiving and giving my first spankings to fellow consulting adults.   

  • Like 1
Link to comment
2 minutes ago, Hotspur said:

For years I believed that I was a one-in-a million freak. It's thanks to the Internet - with sites like this one - that I now realise that there are lots of like-minded people out there and I've been able to make contact with many of them online and/or in person. So it was late in life that I was able to act out my fantasies by receiving and giving my first spankings to fellow consulting adults.   

I went for several years knowing I wasn't alone but not really knowing how to get in contact and get social traction with others (or at least not having any success at it). The best way I can sum it up is it was like if...I liked grape soda (or at least it sounded good and I wanted to try it). Nobody else I knew liked it. Most people I knew didn't even know what it was and the ones who did know OF it didn't seem to know much ABOUT it, but still insisted it was a bad thing. 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...
Search In
  • More options...
Find results that contain...
Find results in...

Write what you are looking for and press enter or click the search icon to begin your search