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Hello Everyone! 

 

Just wanted to say hi to everyone here. I've never tried anything like this before, because I guess I also always thought that this attraction to spanking someone and getting spanked was something that was weird, would only come on when I was turned on, or just didn't fit. I mean, seriously, who ever heard of someone being turned on by doing something that we also do to punish children. Or being turned on by spanking a grown woman and treating her like a daughter? Or being spanked by someone who fills the role of a wife or Mom?

Anyway, I am sure that there are people here who have gone through these thoughts right? I can't be the first person to wonder what the heck is wrong with me. And even now, the thing that is scary is that I'm not even sure what I want. I've had a couple of brief encounters with women who have asked me to spank them. That has been fulfilling. I love using a long handled bathbrush on a bare bottom. I also really enjoy wielding a switch and hairbrush.

I'm interested in potentially being spanked myself, although it is more of an erotic thing for me.  I don't think I want a "sound" spanking, more of a sexual one. I'm also in a vanilla relationship with a wife who has absolutely no interest in spanking.

So, anyway. What does all this mean? Is spanking something that can exist in its own bubble while a plain relationship goes on in tandem? Do brief spanking encounters scratch the itch enough for that to happen? Am I completely on my own with all this stuff?

I guess I've just wished and wished for so long that this would go away and it hasn't. The need has grown. And now, I'm wondering if this is even the place to say all of this... because it feels more like the kind of thing I should share with a therapist. 

Ok, enough of all that, so HI! That's me. :) hope that I haven't scared all of you away. 

 

 

 

 

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Lol love your narration. I can see why you feel the way you do now! You never explored into it, it makes sense. I kept it a secret, and felt ashamed of myself in secret for a long time all because I felt like there was something wrong with me. I am not too surprised this urge has grown, I mean you tried to block out the interest, and you are left feeling like you need it. This is what happened to me, after being stuck in a relationship that lacked what I wanted I just craved it so much more. 

 I guess I would ask how long have you been married to her for, because that might explain whether or not you are bored and needing stimulus. I was in a relationship where I wanted him to be interested in it, but he never was, and when he did it was for sexual purposes. Not the same! I felt agitated and resentful. 

Have you talked with your wife about this side of you? Does she know you are branching out trying to fill this void that she can't give? Is there an open dialogue between you to or has there ever been? Feel free to DM me. I'm fascinated with your post because it sounds eerily familiar to what I went through not that long ago.

 I am now a lot more comfortable and consider myself apart of this community. That took time, and I only felt better once I started talking to like minded people. You will find them here! Stop beating yourself up, you are who you are. In my experience I have been like this since, well forever and I'm not gonna change anytime soon. This is is facet of who I am, and there is no reason to feel bad about it. 

 Don't feel like you are weird, you aren't. 

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two**

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Welcome, hairbrushenry! I'm an explorer, too, and posted similar in my own intro. Happily, I'm single now, which means that if and when I date again, I can take all my desires into account, but I'm also still sorting out what I want. I've had a mostly vanilla relationship that also included some erotic spanking, when I finally worked up the courage to ask him for it (took years!). My then-partner was willing to do it because it turned me on so much, and he loved turning me on, but he wasn't into it for himself. We had a great sexual relationship otherwise (I'm at least as much into vanilla sex as spanking), and when we broke up, it was for other reasons, but I've concluded that it would be so much better to be spanked by someone who's genuinely into it and doing it to please both of us. By the same token, I wouldn't much enjoy sex with someone who just did it to please me but wasn't into it otherwise.

It sounds like your wife isn't into it at all, and that's tough. If she isn't, then even if you could convince her to participate, there would still be a one sidedness to it.

I hear you on the confusion about being turned on by something we do to punish children. In my case, the turn on is entirely about having it done to me--if I had a partner who wanted to be spanked, I'd be willing to, but it wouldn't turn me on, it's getting spanked myself that does that--and it confused me until I realized it's entirely a sexual thing. At least, it is for me. Some people seem to really crave the punishment side of it, but I don't. I think I would still be confused if my desires were much about punishment. I have noticed that the more I accept the spanko side of myself, the more appalling I find child spanking. It's not that it's wrong to give consenting adults a "children's punishment." What's wrong is that act being a children's punishment in the first place. And I say that having been spanked--fairly mildly, no bare bottoms and no implements--as a child and never regarded that as abuse.

 

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5 minutes ago, Bramblewine said:

Welcome, hairbrushenry! I'm an explorer, too, and posted similar in my own intro. Happily, I'm single now, which means that if and when I date again, I can take all my desires into account, but I'm also still sorting out what I want. I've had a mostly vanilla relationship that also included some erotic spanking, when I finally worked up the courage to ask him for it (took years!). My then-partner was willing to do it because it turned me on so much, and he loved turning me on, but he wasn't into it for himself. We had a great sexual relationship otherwise (I'm at least as much into vanilla sex as spanking), and when we broke up, it was for other reasons, but I've concluded that it would be so much better to be spanked by someone who's genuinely into it and doing it to please both of us. By the same token, I wouldn't much enjoy sex with someone who just did it to please me but wasn't into it otherwise.

It sounds like your wife isn't into it at all, and that's tough. If she isn't, then even if you could convince her to participate, there would still be a one sidedness to it.

I hear you on the confusion about being turned on by something we do to punish children. In my case, the turn on is entirely about having it done to me--if I had a partner who wanted to be spanked, I'd be willing to, but it wouldn't turn me on, it's getting spanked myself that does that--and it confused me until I realized it's entirely a sexual thing. At least, it is for me. Some people seem to really crave the punishment side of it, but I don't. I think I would still be confused if my desires were much about punishment. I have noticed that the more I accept the spanko side of myself, the more appalling I find child spanking. It's not that it's wrong to give consenting adults a "children's punishment." What's wrong is that act being a children's punishment in the first place. And I say that having been spanked--fairly mildly, no bare bottoms and no implements--as a child and never regarded that as abuse.

 

Thanks for your note! And yes, there is a one sidedness in the relationship as we have tried some spanking before. I'm glad to meet you, and know that there are others like me here!

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Welcome to the site! Don't worry, you didn't scare anyone anyway. I promise you that!

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Hi Hairbrushenry! You'll find yourself in good company here. We are all exploring the spanking fetishist side of ourselves in one way or another. There are numerous members here who are also married to a vanilla spouse, so you'll find a lot of common ground. Enjoy the the inner growth and camaraderie. :) 

 

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