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An Astro-Logical Game

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I'm into astrology. And logic. Add spanking and stir....


“It’s so good to finally have a chance to play again!”

“I know! I’ve missed you so much!”

“So glad we don’t have to social distance from each other anymore. And that was such a lovely warm up you just gave me.”

“Ready for more?”

“Yes, but you know, I like to earn it.”

“I’ll give you what you deserve, don’t worry. Just show me how you’ll earn it.”

“Hmmm… maybe we can play a game.... I know! Let’s play a game about our shared profession.”


“Yeah. How cool is it, we’re both astrologers! And into spanking, too!”

“I know! What’s your game idea?”

“Why don’t I tell you about a client’s chart I just read? I solemnly swear, I will not tell a lie. If I do, may that belt you’re about to reach for strike me where it counts!”

“Very well. But start with the truth. I need to know what I’m measuring your ‘true statements’ against.”

“Okay. So, this client… let’s call him John, not his real name… came to me… well, Zoomed with me, I’m still not seeing clients in person... because he’s curious about his birth chart, and he’d heard some stuff about the midlife transits that are coming up for him in the next few years. First thing he told me, though, was that he was born on Easter Sunday. I checked his birthdate, and indeed he was.”

“So let the game begin. And don’t do anything too obvious, like tell me John isn’t an Aries.”

“How did you know?”

“Seriously, you call yourself an astrologer? Easter is the first Sunday after the first full moon after the Aries ingress, spring equinox. Therefore, John was born within the four weeks after the Aries ingress. The sun would still be in Aries.”

“Unless there was a full moon on or right before the equinox the year he was born, and the next full moon came when the sun was very late in Aries, and it was early in the week, like Monday or Tuesday. Then he could be a Taurus.”

“Good point.”

“But yes, John is an Aries. Triple Aries, in fact: sun and moon and rising….”


“You know perfectly well he cannot be an Aries moon. Rising, perhaps. Guess his mom missed the sunrise service.”

“Ow! You’re right. John was born early in the morning, but he has Virgo rising….”


“I told you not to be too obvious! I don’t know whether Virgo rising or born in the morning is the lie, but at least one of those is, maybe both. I should give you another in case it’s both. Or just for making it too easy.”

“Ah! Okay, truth is, John isn’t a triple anything. Aries sun, yes. And Virgo rising, so Mercury is his chart ruler. Nice strong Mercury, domiciled in Gemini….”


“Mercury is strong in your birth chart. The planet of liars. I don’t know about John, but I hope you didn’t tell him such lies. I told you not to make it too obvious! That’s what the extra was for.”

“Ah... I’ll make it harder this time. Let’s see… John has a combust planet… Pluto!”


“Unless John is a time traveler, no way. I’d believe a Pluto/sun opposition, for an Aries pushing middle age in 2020, but not conjunction.”

“Ow! Let’s do a just a couple more. What did I not tell you yet? Let’s see… John has a… Pisces moon! So watery, sensitive….”


“Too easy again. He was born on Easter, not Ash Wednesday.”

“Ow! I should get a point for partial truth, though. John’s moon is in a water sign.”

“No partial truths. Tell me one more thing.”

“Let’s see.... John has one domiciled planet, Venus… in Libra.”


“Too easy again. MUCH too easy. That’s why it was three this time. And no partial truths. You don’t get any points if his Venus is really domiciled in Taurus.”

“It is, actually, but now I’ve had enough. Not that I can’t take any more spanks, but I’m running out of lies.”

“All right, here’s what’s happening next. I’ll turn you over my knee and give you a few spanks for every lie you told. And then you will tell me how I knew. And then, if you’re still in the mood, I’ll give you more for making me spank you in the first place.”


Readers, it’s your turn. Which statements were lies? How did the spanker know? 


Bonus point if you can tell me what John’s moon sign is and why. 


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