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Chawsee

For Those of You who Like it HARD....

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Okay gang, I'm looking to you to teach me. If you're someone who craves full-force punishment spankings, what do you get out of them? What does that degree of pain and trauma do for you? Is it the endorphin rush that accompanies such a session? Are there other aspects, too? Help me better understand... :hide:

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That's a great question Chawsee! I'm one of those that prefer the punishment spankings. Though not crazy, but of course they hurt. For me the element of punishment is important, to feel that I stepped across the imaginary line so to speak (breaking rules or other unacceptable behavior in general). I'm not a masochist, so it's not that I "enjoy" and/or "love" the pain from a hard disciplinary spanking session. Yet still it gives me peace of mind, it relaxes me as well and all emotions can flow freely. Yes endorphins flow freely too, so I guess that's an element of importance. For me it doesn't feel like "trauma" (in the negative way). But yes, it leaves an impression. It also makes me feel cared for, guided and loved. Because the intention of a punishment is never ever to harm you, but to teach you a (painful) lesson for your own good.

After a good punishment spanking my head is empty, I am much more disciplined to do the things I need and should do (it's a big motivator to stop procrastinating and/or choose to swam "lazy" activities like gaming for productive ones).

And further more, it's an experience that's hard to express in words, I think many people with spanking needs like this can relate to that. You go into something they call in the bdsm world "subspace". Hard to describe that, unless you know what it feels like...

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2 hours ago, dutchbrat said:

You go into something they call in the bdsm world "subspace". Hard to describe that, unless you know what it feels like...

It should be pointed out that many people can also reach subspace during longer, less severe sessions, as opposed to full-force punishment-type spankings. Endorphins are part of the equation but they can build up slowly during sessions that don't require the EE to be pushed to the limit of their pain threshold.

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It's like getting on the scariest roller coaster in the world ,like bungee jumping off a bridge, experiencing something that is at different edge reality. Touching the past. Attempting to heal wounds. Trying to find affection in the most unlikely place.  Fixing a defect. 

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Hi Chawsee,

I started to reply to this message thinking that I would have something to contribute and after a very short period of time realized that my answer is probably "I don't know." 

After all my years of introspection and learning psychotherapy, as well as having very talented therapist help me at accept my spanking needs, I do not know why this sort of spanking is so important to me.  i know the craving goes back to very early childhood.  I got one spanking like this as a child from my father over his lap but I'm not trying to re-create this.  I can relate more to the Lord of acid song, "Spank my  booty" where the singer was being spanked by her father as a child and says, "I begged his tender mercy through the tears in my eyes but he didn't know that he had shown me paradise."  She acted out time after time to provoke him to spanking her to tears and beyond.

I'm not wanting  a spanking from my father. He introduced me to it, but it was already there. Instead, I want from a strong determined woman with a paddle who will not stop until I'm reduced to a sobbing boy.  Not being able to explain is an unusual place for me having spent my career writing  solutions and advice after solving difficult problems for companies as a consultant.  But I can't.

I think it the appeal is partially just the pure physical stimulation. I once had a therapist explain to my wife that I get such a strong physically satisfying reaction to a severe spanking that there would be nothing that would meet my needs  aside from   very risky fast driving and aerobatic flying in a fashion some might consider to be reckless.  (I can't believe I did some of the stupid things.)

it was tempting to talk about subspace but as Spanknutt and others have pointed out, I can reach that in many ways. In fact, I don't always really enter subspace after one of these severe spankings.  I reached subspace yesterday after a very gentle hand spanking during sex.    I could also talk about wanting to feel it for several days later. Or, I might say it totally clears my head. Or causes me to totally let go. or get the same endorphin rush of hovering a helicopter. (The helicopter won hands down and damn near bankrupted me.)    Although I think all of those are true for me,  they are not the answer to the question you asked. Every single one of these can be accomplished in some other way. 

For some reason, we've have decided in SN  that it's not generally okay to talk about sex in connection of spanking. I think we're trying to distinguish ourselves from those who have realized that a hand spanking during passionate sex increases the pleasure, a bit like jalapenos for those of us who live in Texas.  But for me, there's no sexual rush that even begins to approach one after I've been spanked to oblivion.  But that's still not the main reason.  And I still don't really know.

Just thinking about this kind of spanking causes me to shiver in excitement.  I really crave it. I really dread it.  in fact, even talking about this is making me wonder if I can gain the courage to contact my friend and asked her for a punishment spanking.  (I've now backed down from asking directly for it several times.)   I haven't had one in a while and I fear it. She has  given me plenty of these very severe paddle spankings that wind up with bruises and very raw bottoms.   We've  even photographed our sessions with the rather substantial damage afterwards.  I still fear asking her. 

But I'm not answering your question. 

I put this kind of spanking in the same category as running, eating great food,  playing with my dogs, riding horses, romantic sex and deep breathing. They all satisfy some kind of PRIMAL need that I've had all of my life. I remember being in junior high school  whenI tried to spank myself to this level. I was craving it in fourth grade when I watched a teacher paddle another child to tears. He was crying uncontrollably.  I so wanted to take his place.  I didn't just want to feel the paddle, I wanted  my teacher to firmly but lovingly  to reduce me to tears. But the tears are a byproduct. I really wanted to hurt that bad. I want that incredibly painful feeling to overwhelmed me and spread throughout my body.  I want to scream.  Yes, I want to cry.  I want to beg, but in my case today,  I sure better not beg because she can last forever and I'm going up a huge price for begging.  ("Are you telling me what to do?" is really something I promise you I do not want to hear.)  And I want to be totally spent. At the end, I want to be proud of myself that I took it.

So, I've just proven that I don't know why.  Maybe somebody else will be more successful in answering the question.  I don't know, but I want it probably more than almost  anything else in the that would be considered discretionary..

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PS: The end state that I craved from my father has me shivering and contracting my buttocks for some time afterwards.  They are like orgasms. It still happens sometimes.  Those are the best onces

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Growing up I was never spanked as a child. I deserved to be MANY times and WANTED to be. Now as an adult I find a good long hard spanking is great for stress relief. When I am over someone's knees being given a severe spanking that is all I think about. Part of me wants it to stop part wants it to continue. When it finally ends I feel much more relaxed and less worried about garbage like COVID 19. What I NEED and has only happened a few times is to be spanked past the point I can tolerate it. Then be spanked more. A few people can probably understand that

Recently this COVID 19 shit has prevented me from meeting with the few people who can spank this bad boy as I deserve.

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For me, it's catharsis.

The spankings I get from my wife are punishments, so I want to feel truly sorry for what I have done to earn the spanking -- not only while the spanking is happening, but long afterwards. I  want my wife to feel satisfied that I have learned my lesson and will work to do better. I want us both to feel like we've "cleared the air" and can begin again, closer than ever.

That can only happen if I get it a full force, long punishment spanking that has a lasting impact.

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Dutchbrat really put it well. Stress relief and punishment spankings are both very effective for me and need to be hard. For a stress relief spanking it is very difficult - almost impossible to think about my problems when getting a hard spanking. Afterward, I seem to feel better - maybe because of the endorphins or because I feel centered and focused. For punishment - I would rather get a spanking than feel guilty about something and have to deal with those feelings - which, to me, are very negative. So punishment spankings help me to be focused and centered as well. The person giving the spanking has a big part in how I feel as well. The spanker has to understand the dynamics of punishment and stress relief spankings - it is not just about hitting someone hard. I read on one of the threads that you say a prayer (I believe in private) before giving the spanking - I remember commenting on that because it seems like you put a lot of thought into giving the spanking - that mindset definitely helps me -  to have a spanker that understands the need someone has for a punishment spanking and how to meet those needs. Spanknutt also seems like he would be a good disciplinarian as well. So trust is a big part of being able to take a hard spanking and feeling at ease with the spanker.

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On 5/23/2020 at 4:43 AM, Spanknutt said:

It should be pointed out that many people can also reach subspace during longer, less severe sessions, as opposed to full-force punishment-type spankings. Endorphins are part of the equation but they can build up slowly during sessions that don't require the EE to be pushed to the limit of their pain threshold.

I've wondered about this. Good to know!  Thanks for the input, Spanknutt.

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On 5/23/2020 at 2:34 AM, dutchbrat said:

That's a great question Chawsee! I'm one of those that prefer the punishment spankings. Though not crazy, but of course they hurt. For me the element of punishment is important, to feel that I stepped across the imaginary line so to speak (breaking rules or other unacceptable behavior in general). I'm not a masochist, so it's not that I "enjoy" and/or "love" the pain from a hard disciplinary spanking session. Yet still it gives me peace of mind, it relaxes me as well and all emotions can flow freely. Yes endorphins flow freely too, so I guess that's an element of importance. For me it doesn't feel like "trauma" (in the negative way). But yes, it leaves an impression. It also makes me feel cared for, guided and loved. Because the intention of a punishment is never ever to harm you, but to teach you a (painful) lesson for your own good.

After a good punishment spanking my head is empty, I am much more disciplined to do the things I need and should do (it's a big motivator to stop procrastinating and/or choose to swam "lazy" activities like gaming for productive ones).

And further more, it's an experience that's hard to express in words, I think many people with spanking needs like this can relate to that. You go into something they call in the bdsm world "subspace". Hard to describe that, unless you know what it feels like...

Very well said, dutchbrat. Thank you for your helpful input. :)

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1 hour ago, Switch E said:

Dutchbrat really put it well. Stress relief and punishment spankings are both very effective for me and need to be hard. For a stress relief spanking it is very difficult - almost impossible to think about my problems when getting a hard spanking. Afterward, I seem to feel better - maybe because of the endorphins or because I feel centered and focused. For punishment - I would rather get a spanking than feel guilty about something and have to deal with those feelings - which, to me, are very negative. So punishment spankings help me to be focused and centered as well. The person giving the spanking has a big part in how I feel as well. The spanker has to understand the dynamics of punishment and stress relief spankings - it is not just about hitting someone hard. I read on one of the threads that you say a prayer (I believe in private) before giving the spanking - I remember commenting on that because it seems like you put a lot of thought into giving the spanking - that mindset definitely helps me -  to have a spanker that understands the need someone has for a punishment spanking and how to meet those needs. Spanknutt also seems like he would be a good disciplinarian as well. So trust is a big part of being able to take a hard spanking and feeling at ease with the spanker.

You explained it well, Switch E.

And thank you for your thoughtful words. Yes, I do put a lot of thought into spanking, thinking about it tirelessly and studying it from every angle. I question myself a lot, too. What we do is so powerful that I want to be certain I'm causing no harm to my spankees. So helpful input like this means a lot to me. Thanks, my friend.

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Such a good question! Of course my answer is complex. Others have made good points above, too. Like all things spanking, it depends on the individual. 

For me, it’s all about the real. I’ve been intrigued/obsessed with spanking in a discipline context for as long as I can remember. I enjoy the physical and emotional aspects of spanking on many levels, but crave the “truly sorry, punished“ feeling. Since I enjoy spanking, it has to be hard enough and real enough for me to truly learn a lesson (that can get dark) which is not easily achieved. A full force punishment is awful in the moment. It's the after effects that make it desirable - the headspace you’re in after it’s all over, sincerely wanting and motivated to be better, being vulnerable to the one who cares enough about you to push just past your barriers to make it real.   

And of course,  “a real spanking doesn’t begin until you want it to stop” rings true.

 

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hi there:

 I don’t like to be spanked, i’m not a masochist and it hurts, but i need those endorphins- I’m in it for the stress relief. I don’t normally do anything that requires correction - i’m self disciplined enough - that’s part of the problem, occasionally i just need to let go and let someone else be in charge. 

j-

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For me, spanking is a form of stress relief and an innate part of me that needs to be fulfilled. It is not at all disciplinary for me, yet I do personally need and crave hard, punishment-level spankings.

The physical is as much a part of it for me as the mental and emotional. Lighter to moderate spankings leave me still needing more. It keeps me from getting into the headspace I need to be fulfilled. When a spanking is genuinely hard, when it really and truly hurts...the intensity of the physical pain takes me into that headspace that allows me to let go emotionally and mentally. The physical is the bridge that gets me to the right space mentally and emotionally, which is what will ultimately make a spanking fulfilling for me. But I can't get to the necessary mental or emotional state without the spanking being physically hard and intense. Also, the more intense marks left from a hard spanking, the bruises and even welts, which can last several days or more, give me a lasting physical effect from the spanking that, in turn, helps me enjoy the mental and emotional satisfaction for the duration I remain marked.

I will add the disclaimer that I solely self-spank at the moment. I don't know how that plays into my spankings in that maybe I wouldn't need such hard spankings to achieve headspace if I didn't have to get myself there on my own. But I do honestly enjoy the pain, in a way, and I need and crave it. And having marks is an important part of it for me, which are generally achieved through more intense sessions. I think I will always need hard spankings, if it doesn't really hurt, it does nothing for me. But I can't deny that having to be the one doing the spanking to myself could definitely be a cause for me to need an even more intense physical experience to distract from that enough to reach "subspace" on my own.

 

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3 hours ago, Chawsee said:

Very well said, dutchbrat. Thank you for your helpful input. :)

You're welcome Chawsee ❤️

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I self spank exclusively also, strictly for stress relief. I generally also like/need a fairly hard spanking, but not always. It seems to be a complex dynamic for what type of spanking I need to feel relaxed and refreshed, and not one that I necessarily understand fully. I know that the physical pain of the spanking is what makes my mind stop churning, and focus on one thing. That process in and of itself can be relaxing and cathartic. That is not necessarily a very hard spanking, but hard enough/stinging enough that I feel it. I've tried long sessions with less intense implements (like an hour long mild spanking with a light wooden paddle), wondering if that would bring the same release as short and harder. That particular session let me put aside the things that were bothering me, at least during the spanking, but was not relaxing in a true sense and left me disappointed in a way. Before COVID, when I had more opportunities to self spank many times a short (few minutes) hard, but not really hard, spanking was all it took or a long stinging strapping would be wonderful. Now with opportunities much less frequent I am finding I need pretty quick (as I'll have limited time) and hard spankings to enable me to let go. I tend to go to the hard paddles or bath brushes as I need fast and hard, about as hard as I am able to spank myself. The letting go and being able to relax for me is entirely in the physical aspects and pain of the spanking. Similar to what Amethyst said,  the need to feel it afterward was always welcome and desired, but now that need is stronger. Even 2 or 3 days later the periodic discomfort when I sit helps bring my mind back to how I felt during the spanking and reminds me to try and "let go" of what is bothering me.

Bottom line, in these days of limited opportunities to spank; shorter, as hard as possible spankings are what I need. The physical  discomfort (ok pain) is the critical factor. I don't know if endorphins come into play or not, but I do sometimes feel like all I want to do is lay down (on my stomach 😁) after a spanking and just feel lost on what I am feeling.

Chawsee, I don't know if this helps answer your question, but I hope it adds some insights.

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On 5/22/2020 at 10:43 PM, Chawsee said:

If you're someone who craves full-force punishment spankings, what do you get out of them? What does that degree of pain and trauma do for you? Is it the e

May I quote Steve jobs?

“People don’t know what they want until you show it to them.”

I think we can give you bits of it. But I guess I should say I don’t really know what I need until she assesses me. She always stops and talks to me and watches me for a while. Then it’s over the pillow and I don’t ever know what’s coming. She’s nearly always right.

 

 

 

 

 

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The first time I got spanked hard enough, when it was over, the first thought I remember was, "Nothing hurts but my ass." I was astonished at the relief I felt. I was so used to living with nagging minor physical discomforts and my own chronic self-disapproval in the background. For once, I wasn't ashamed of myself for anything.

The next thought I remember was how kind my ER had been. I'd been tied to a spanking bench, crying and wailing (in a sound-proofed room) without restraint, my face covered in tears and snot, and he never once made fun of me for it, or criticized me for over-reacting. 

Sometime soon after, I became aware of the pride I felt in having taken such a walloping. I felt like I'd accomplished something, as though my ER and I had built something together. 

Early in a hard-enough spanking, there's a moment when I think, "That one hurt almost as much as I can stand. I think I can take the next one or two. But how am I going to live through what comes after that?" And I have to make a conscious decision not to think about any spank but the one I'm getting in that moment. 

I agree that a too-light spanking can be frustrating. If, several minutes in, I can think about anything else besides the spanking, it's not hard enough. There's a Nirvana B-side, "Aneurysm", with the chorus "Beat me outta me!" repeated over and over. That's what I'm looking for. Freedom from self-consciousness.

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Hi Guys

Loads of interesting points raised throughout these P.O.V's

I'm a bit squeamish when things get bruised and bloody and I'm not really at that end of the spanking spectrum but I love an endurance spanking...many implements over a long period with breaks inbetween....

So it's kind of relief when your on a break but you know it's not over the endorphin high off those long spankings are amazing plus your stress and worries just diminish

Plus you get to rub better afterwards and you're still buzzing from the throb from your ass!

Does that count?...I like the varied tempo spanks too...hard one..medium one...soft one...really hard one...you never know what's coming next!

Take care guys

Happy slapping all! 🙂 

 

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