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LovingButtFirm

Hi!

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Hello! I've been into spanking for as long as I can remember, on both an emotional and an erotic level. I'm drawn to both -er and -ee roles, but have limited experience, having only been in exclusive, vanilla-ish relationships. I'm happily in a relationship now with a partner who doesn't really share my fascination with spanking but does enjoy it as part of foreplay. I'm here to hopefully chat with like-minded folks, and am especially interested in connecting with people who have incorporated spanking into their not-explicitly-spanko relationships.

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Welcome to the site!

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Hi there! I can relate. My former husband was vanilla but learned to switch with me. (Back then I was new, too, so we actually learned together.) Spanking me aroused him, but he didn't like being spanked himself. Yet at least he played along. To keep his interest, I let him spank me about 75% of the time, and I spanked him about 25% of the time. It was our foreplay. It sounds like this is the situation, more or less, that you're in. Glad you joined us. This is a friendly and approachable bunch. I think you'll like it here. :)

 

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Thanks for the welcomes! 

 

@Chawsee that does sound like a similar experience, except that my partner is more comfortable being spanked as she leans submissive in bed. I'm grateful for her willingness for sure! I get hung up on how to ask to try spanking in a more ritualized way with at least overtones of discipline or punishment. Spanking *is* erotic for me, but it also has a more nebulous emotional appeal that's harder to express. 

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12 hours ago, LovingButtFirm said:

Thanks for the welcomes! 

@Chawsee that does sound like a similar experience, except that my partner is more comfortable being spanked as she leans submissive in bed. I'm grateful for her willingness for sure! I get hung up on how to ask to try spanking in a more ritualized way with at least overtones of discipline or punishment. Spanking *is* erotic for me, but it also has a more nebulous emotional appeal that's harder to express. 

I think I can relate to what you're saying. I refer to the style my ex and I shared as "erotic" because it ended in sex, but it wasn't what you see in "erotic" spanking videos. Not at all. Maybe "funishment" would be the more accurate term? It was discipline, and it was pretty intense at times, but ended in steamy passion. You could move this way gradually, or playfully punish her with mock scolding and a spanking when she does something wrong. I'd maybe keep it light-hearted at first so it doesn't scare her. The intensity will likely build naturally as you both get more comfortable.

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Welcome to Spankingneeds and sharing a little bit about yourself. I'm single and haven't had the same experience as you as I have never been in a long term vanilla relationship. But I am sure many others will relate to you and might even have good advice. I hope so for you! Meanwhile enjoy this website, it's a great place to meet like minded people from all over the world.

Anja

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