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Do you stop breathing during really painful spankings?


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If so, how do you fix that?  It's something that I don't even realize I'm doing.  It's just that as soon as a severe spanking ends, I collapse and gasp like a dying fish.  There's also the fact that I don't seem able to communicate during a severe punishment.  It's possible that I'm one of those people who go nonverbal with intense pain, or it could be that I just am not breathing.  I've only used a safeword once in my life and I had no trouble then, but I have concerns I might need to use one and be unable to.  I'm aware of the trick where you hold something in your hand and drop it if you get overwhelmed, and that's a good option, but you know . . . breathing.  Necessary to sustain life. 

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During a severe spanking, breathing is the ONLY thing I focus on. My wife generally doesn't ask too many questions during the spanking. So all I do is concentrate on my breathing, in and out, and try my best to be in position for my wife. I think during intense sessions , some might be too focused on the pain, or just completely overwhelmed emotionally and physically. 

Also, my wife soothes me in a soft voice during an intense session. That also helps. But yes, I pretty much try to think only about the breathing during a spanking. Since I take voluntary effort into doing so, I have never been out of breath so to speak after or during a session.

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Breathing for me depends on the venue of the spanking. If there's a chance people can hear me if I squeal, then I hold my breath when I can or maybe try to scream into a pillow or the arms of my shirt. But if there's no chance anyone can hear me, I will scream and beg like a crazy person. Like you, communicating during a severe punishment is very difficult for me. But I think you're smart to have back up plans like the safe-drop idea as long as the spanker is observant enough to notice. 

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Sounds like something you need to discuss with whoever is spanking you so they’re aware of the issue. Telling them to slow the place and do check ins.. I experience the same thing during a harsh spanking. I think it’s more to do with panic  for me. I’m a tense person to begin with. I’ve found some time to ready myself before a spanking helps, getting myself in a calm mindset. I’ve also noticed that if I just force myself to exhale, even when I don’t feel I have the breath to do so, helps the most. 

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As a Spanker, I watch for a number of things during a spanking.  Breathing is one of them for sure since we all find ourselves from time to time holding our breath at a scary moment in a movie, screaming down the tracks of a roller coaster or over your favorite Spankers knee.

I would ask my Spanker to monitor this as, Im sure, you will start monitoring it yourself.  Maybe you want to have a mental checklist in mind just before your spanking, maybe you already do? ...and, if so, put breathing on it.  I believe your spanking will be more enjoyable/tolerable as well...

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On 5/11/2020 at 7:07 AM, geeky_child said:

 but you know . . . breathing.  Necessary to sustain life. 

Lol, why yes it is! I had this problem when I started out & the clever ER solved it by asking me questions that I had to answer during  the spanking. The only way to talk is for air to pass by your vocal cords (aka breathing) . Doesn't need to be long drawn out conversation, simple yes' &/or no's would show you're breathing. Hope this helps. Good luck! 

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On 5/11/2020 at 2:35 PM, reallymissBhaved said:

Breathing for me depends on the venue of the spanking. If there's a chance people can hear me if I squeal, then I hold my breath when I can or maybe try to scream into a pillow or the arms of my shirt. But if there's no chance anyone can hear me, I will scream and beg like a crazy person. Like you, communicating during a severe punishment is very difficult for me. But I think you're smart to have back up plans like the safe-drop idea as long as the spanker is observant enough to notice. 

Hey, just curious, what’s the “safe-drop” idea?

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Speak to your spanker about it at a time when you are not close to a spanking.  I suggest your spanker add some questions in there that you have to answer, even just with a yes sir, no sir.  Talking equals breathing.   It doesn't have to be a running dialogue, just here and there if they catch you holding your breath or if you are being silent.  

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  • 1 month later...

Reading all this begs a question. Has anyone ever passed out before? When thinking about safety during a spanking, I can honestly say I have never once worried about spanking someone so much/hard that they pass out.

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  • 1 month later...

Last week I tried self spanking for the first time in a long time, and after my last and hardest round I was somewhat surprised to find that I needed to catch my breath.  I don’t recall that having happened before. Unfortunately I can count on one hand the number of spankings I have had that have been hard enough to maybe make this happen.  But I’ll have to pay more attention in the future. 

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I was once told by a female friend who attended a UK boarding school that a "friendly" female teacher advised her before her first caning to "try not to clench your cheeks and to concentrate on your breathing and try to breathe as normally as possible. She said this would make it "a little easier to take" How true this is I don't know !

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I do Lamaze breathing like I learned before giving birth.  It helps me focus and push through any pain.  I assume that it could help males as well.  Find articles about Lamaze breathing techniques. 

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  • 1 month later...
On 5/15/2020 at 1:22 AM, BaseballNerd said:

Hey, just curious, what’s the “safe-drop” idea?

it's when you have an item in your hand during a spanking (or other activity which could require a safe word) that you drop instead of verbally saying a safe word, but that means the same thing as saying a safe word out loud.

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I surely hope my disciplinees are breathing freely because I want to hear their vocal reactions.  I admit I do feel a sense of satisfaction when they try to restrain themselves during the first smacks or strokes, only to give in to outright cries and sobs as the spanking or paddling goes on.  I guess I'm just a romantic about the process....

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I don’t try to stop it. if it helps me get through it to stop breathing, I keep doing it.  I saw a video once where a woman was just relentlessly paddling this guy and just would not stop.  His distress level was really difficulty to see as was her utter indifference to it.  At various times, he stopped breathing, and at one point she told him to “breathe.”  The guy was understandably dumbstruck at the notion of her “concern” about his welfare as she was wailing away on him and ignoring his pleas for mercy.  However, she dispelled any notions of concern by clarifying that she just didn’t want him to vomit on her bed. 

Having said that, sometimes, the pain has been more tolerable by breathing aggressively and at a rapid pace. It gave my brain a focal point other than the pain.  I got skin ripped off me once by a pro’s wooden paddle, but I kept from breaking down and being overwhelmed by the pain by breathing that way. It’s all about developing whatever coping strategy works for you.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I am subject to the cane for disciplinary correction.

When the caning is severe I sometimes find myself holding my breath.... and sometimes panting!

I think it comes from my youth when one was expected to show a 'stiff upper lip' and to 'take your medicine like a man' when being corrected. It meant I concentrated on not making a noise! 

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I am subject to real canings. I am caned HARD across my bare bottom, although now an XH three tailed tawse is regularly supplemented.

I also receive regular hand tawsing for minor offences or as a supplement to a caning across the bottom. 

They are meant to and DO hurt beyond belief, especially a hand tawsing. 

I have learned long long ago to regulate my breathing and keep steady regular breaths.  It helps my concentration, my focus and my humility. 

For me, any such punishment has to received with dignity and full contrition otherwise it is meaningless. Erratic breathing would to me seem a lack of control and concentration and respect for the seriousness of my discipline. 

Especially when receiving a hand tawsing, I have to have extra control as I am facing my pedagogue and have to show the utmost respect. 

Yes, proper controlled breathing for me, is an integral and important part of being disciplined, really important. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

The Disciplinarian has responsibility for most things in any interaction.  They have a duty to continuously watch the recipient, their body language, their breathing, etc.

I always coach the recipient to breathe deep and slow - almost like meditative breathing.  This helps to produce endorphins, etc. as well as giving the recipient something other than the pain to focus on; it also helps them to deal with the strokes.

The Disciplinarian should be fully focused on the recipient throughout proceedings and so should quickly pick up on holding breath, etc.  

Additionally, particularly for very hard strokes, leaving 5-6 seconds between strokes allows the recipient to feel every part of the stroke and also to deal with the pain psychologically and prepare for the next stroke.

If only Disciplinarians would communicate with their recipients, both parties would benefit greatly.  Communication (just a quick "All right?", etc.) not only ensure the recipient knows you are both in this together, whether Punishment, funishment, play or whatever, but also allows them to know that the Disciplinarian is engaged and paying full attention.  

 

I hope this helps.

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  • 2 months later...

I try to control my breathing and concentrate my view on something such as a detail in the carpet pattern or the furniture. It doesn't always work.

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People of course hold their breath because it is an innate response to danger. A sub conscious response we gained as we evolved and started wandering about the savannah some 400 or 300,000 years ago. When we were not the top predator  ... In essence if it [the danger] doesn't pass, then explosive running can take place on that breath.

It is an incontrovertible fact that pain is indeed all in the mind. By ceasing to breath one tenses the body muscles, increasing lactose acid build up in the muscles. The mix of rigid muscles and lactose acid increases the  pain levels the mind receives from the nerve tips.

Whilst I have never been spanked nor been the recipient of BDSM [and never will be] .....  I have in various activities suffered damage, some of which was/is quite significant and I have had to work through that situation. Personally I have always instructed my submissives to breath in deeply before a stroke and then exhale deeply upon the stroke landing. Never fight pain, allow it free passage to flow through your body. Accept it, welcome it, align your mind to it. Imagine in the case of spanking that the pain is flowing up from your backside out of the top of your head as you exhale  .... There is certainly no need for 'screaming', that occurs only when a person has lost control of their emotional responses.

In a more advanced form of pain control, there is a useful torture resistance technique. It is one of the easiest to achieve and works extremely well ....  Namely, recite an easily remembered nursery rhyme in one's own mind time and again; on loop. This works because the mind can only assimilate one conscious mind activity at a time and pain is a conscious response. This is why people pass out from extreme pain; it is a coping mechanism for the body. Therefore concentration on looping the rhyme will render the pain ineffective. Obviously there is a point, usually 'sharp' pain, where the response of the nerve endings in the mind stops someone reciting the rhyme ... But for any standard spanking/caning, it is a technique which should help greatly if applied correctly.

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I have asthma, so this is a genuine concern for me.  I had a struggle with this during a spanking last year, where I found myself having an asthma attack mid-spanking where it felt like I could not get enough air....     The one spanking me at the time was very new to spanking, and did not pick up on this....  I had never had an asthma attack during a spanking, and found myself a bit unprepared...  This is where safe words come into play...  While ideally the spanker would notice or pick up on such things, I feel the 'ee has to take some responsibility for themselves as well...  especially if the spanker is new.  I do not use safe words lightly, trust is everything and anyone I'm working with knows that I would never call "red" or "yellow" lightly, and abuse the use of safewords....  I don't think I have ever in my life called "red" but I have called "yellow" .....   If during an intense spanking, I find I am struggling from breath, I will call "yellow" if I need just a moment to catch my breath, not to make things easier, but to avoid an asthma attack....  Typically this is what I need and what helps me.... Either I'm holding my breath, or crying too hard or gasping from the pain, but either way, I need a moment to get it back.  The spanking could resume afterward, but either I need a short pause to regain control, or a slower pace.

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