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StevenSampson

If my partner agreed to spank me

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If I somehow convinced my partner to give me a hard spanking that clearly puts me in a lot of pain if not brings me to tears, what are some tips I should give?

Again this is a person who has never done this before and if she somehow agreed wouldn’t have had any experience. I am less concerned about longer lasting bruises and welts if she was the one who did this, rather than someone else. I am ok with any position if it’s my partner though lying on the bed with my butt propped up again would be what I’d most be interested in. 

I am assuming a hand spanking, followed by implements?

How should she do the hand spanking, and for how long? 

We don’t have any specialized implements at home and the only ones I think that could be used for a spanking would be some belts, 2 wooden spoons, her plastic hairbrush and hangers- wooden and wire and plastic.

Which Instruments should be used? Which ones shouldn’t be?

Those that are used, how would it be good to use them safely while painfully? Which positions would be ideal for which ones, and again, when would it be time to stop?

Thanks!


 

 

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There is also a wooden cutting board, which is quite thick.

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Also, should it be on the bare or underwear or pants for the first time? What are advantages and disadvantages of each?

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If she agrees, I would find a spanking video that appeals to you and show it to her.   Tell her "this is how I'd like to be spanked" then commit to getting that spanking.  It might hurt , but it's not going to kill you.  This way your going to find out what spanking is really all about. 

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I appreciate the advice but looking at pornography would be something that we’d both see as wrong.
Yes I definitely want it to hurt, and a lot.

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8 minutes ago, StevenSampson said:

I appreciate the advice but looking at pornography would be something that we’d both see as wrong.
Yes I definitely want it to hurt, and a lot.

It's just my opinion naturally, but there area lot of spanking videos available that are just good old fashioned spanking and not sexual in really anyway.  I don't know if you have ever been to SpankingTube, but you might want to check it out.  

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Many thanks for the advice. I don’t think it would be an option for us, why I asked the questions in the OP. Again though I do appreciate you trying to help.

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I think @Skibum54 had a great idea. There are A LOT of spanking videos that do not go sexual (and you would have to commit to yourself; if you and your wife don't watch porn not to view it as such) -- and find a video so she can grasp what you need, with words written out about why you feel so strongly about your desires. You could try without a video and tell her you can research videos (because she hasn't practiced before she isn't going to know how to swing a paddle etc) and then proceed to having her view it and slowly explain you really feel the need for this. But it might be important for her to actually see what you need. Maybe not? Start with a written letter / email / and really go into detail about how much it would mean to you.

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Thanks for the idea. I don’t think it would be possible to not view these as porn though, I mean people get undressed to be spanked and their butts are shown and the films are meant to arouse the viewers sexually aren’t they? Maybe if possible I’ll look for written instructions online, if me and her get to the point where we have this talk and she is willing to consider it. I appreciate again the input though.

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have you seen Jillian Keeman's article in the New York Times.  It is the best place to start I've ever seen and is on her website. Don't have the link right now, but if you search for her nameand New York Times article, you'll find it.

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It's hard to give an advice in general, because each spanker and spankee are different. First of all it's important to communicate and make clear what you expect and what you long for, what you think you need. The best thing is not to go all over the first few times, but slowly build it up, so you can both experience what intensity is nice for both and working towards the hard limit, not all in one session.

Besides that, there are many great websites online describing many techniques and implements, how to use them etc. Spankingtube will probably have many inspiring videos you could watch and describe to your partner the ones that speak to you.

And in general: just enjoy the process, take it easy, you're not in a hurry, make sure it's enjoyable for both, these things take time if you want it to become a long lasting long term connection.

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Hi Steven. Hand spankings are often sufficient the first several times. If you're not used to being spanked, and your partner swats pretty hard, a good lengthy session like this should sore you up well. If more is needed, one of your belts or wooden spoons, or the plastic hairbrush, could be added. Any implement can be fierce, though, so ask her to use it cautiously. A rubber or silicone spatula, if you have it, can be an impressively painful tool that won't cause much damage. Personally, I'd avoid hangers at this stage, as they are vile welt-makers, and wire hangers can break the skin. It would be good for your partner to practice on a couch or firm pillow to improve her aim and ability to land the implements accurately. 

You mentioned lying on the bed with your hips propped on pillows as your preferred position, and that's a good choice. As for how long to go, she should take you to the point that you feel you can't handle any more. (The spankee will tend to go through sort of a panic stage, then kind of relax at the point of submission and "acceptance.") When this happens, she should push you just a bit further. The first time likely won't be perfect. That's normal. But with practice, you two will get more and more in-synch with each other. Good luck! :)

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This reply may be too late, but perhaps another option would be self-spanking. I've seen people use long handled bath brushes and other implements to deliver some really painful looking spankings. Your concern about watching "porn" makes me think you might be a conservative or religious person and there is a long history of self-flagellation as way to cleanse the body and soul of sins. If your wife isn't interested, perhaps that could be an option for you.

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