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St.George

Don't Go Overboard (Literally)

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This man went over a wooden board and suffered injury...

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-6118821/Man-61-left-severe-kidney-injury-receiving-1-000-spanks.html

After viewing the pictures and reading the article, I think I've cured myself of all desire to be spanked IRL, TBH I just about lost my cookies.

I think I would rather retain my clothes and dignity...

Imagine, he is still doing it, loves it too. He's used to dark red urine, bo biggie, but not pissing at all, that gave him a moment of concern.

Barfy, man, super-barfy.

I think I'm going to leave the modern age and travel back in time to... a time when there wasn't stuff like this. If I can just think of such a time, if one exists.

Not Victorian England...sigh...

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Dear Lord, this is heart-wrenching. The article states: 

"Doctors say the unnamed 61-year-old suffered the injury because he was squashed against the hard surface, which put pressure on his organs. They also claim some of the strokes from his anonymous partner went wayward and accidentally struck his kidney area..."

This is why I eschew such intense play. As a session increases in harshness, so do the risks. And 1,000 swats? How does anybody endure that? His partner may have become fatigued, which might explain the mis-landings. Don't have the answers, but I appreciate this timely reminder to be conscientious and responsible.

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That is why G-d put padding on the bottom...

 

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The person who did this was either deeply sadistic, had no clue what he was doing or both. This is very rare...even in the BDSM world. This guy is nuts if he is willing to go back for more. I think I'd be done with all that after an experience like that.

I've been given a 1000 swat spanking before and yes someone can take it. Of course the intensity is much lower than what happened to this man. There was talking in between swats and some corner time. Definitely some marks and bruises when it was over, but no severe bruising that lasted for very long. 

Here in our little hamlet of SN we typically spank for different reasons. Most of us aren't into the BDSM side of things, the whips and bondage as this man was. He is obviously into it for the severity, intensity and the pain....as was the person who did it to him. I feel bad that this actually happened to someone. I just hope he learned something from it and takes more safety precautions in the future.

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let's face it: The need to be spanked can become an addiction. Like all addictions it will impact the whole person, mentally, physically and emotionally. 

The same can apply to spankers. Some have clearly gone overboard and lost control. No spanker can afford any feelings one might have to hurt someone to take over when spanking. 

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That is horrendous! I can't believe how willing he is to continue doing this in the future...I would be so shaken up. That wasn't a spanking, that was a beating, and a horrific one at that. Knowing things like this can happen is one reason I'm so reluctant to consider a spanking partner. Of course I know something to this extent isn't at all common, and most spankers would never come close to doing something like this. But the uncertainty that you won't know for an absolute fact that the person really knows what they are doing, and will do it in a safe way, until you are in a vulnerable position receiving the spanking...that definitely frightens me. It's certainly why references are a must for me. Most seem to say they're experienced, skilled, and safe...it's hard to know who truly is and who says that for a better response. I prefer to hear that from those who can truly confirm it. But this certainly reinforces my preference for self-spanking. 

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On 4/28/2020 at 12:08 PM, Davyd said:

let's face it: The need to be spanked can become an addiction. Like all addictions it will impact the whole person, mentally, physically and emotionally. 

The same can apply to spankers. Some have clearly gone overboard and lost control. No spanker can afford any feelings one might have to hurt someone to take over when spanking. 

I have been saying this for a long while now. I am glad to hear someone else say it as well. Without proper self control and understanding of self, spanking can lead to more negative results then positive.

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On 4/29/2020 at 1:20 AM, Amethyst_Moon said:

That is horrendous! I can't believe how willing he is to continue doing this in the future...I would be so shaken up. That wasn't a spanking, that was a beating, and a horrific one at that. Knowing things like this can happen is one reason I'm so reluctant to consider a spanking partner. Of course I know something to this extent isn't at all common, and most spankers would never come close to doing something like this. But the uncertainty that you won't know for an absolute fact that the person really knows what they are doing, and will do it in a safe way, until you are in a vulnerable position receiving the spanking...that definitely frightens me. It's certainly why references are a must for me. Most seem to say they're experienced, skilled, and safe...it's hard to know who truly is and who says that for a better response. I prefer to hear that from those who can truly confirm it. But this certainly reinforces my preference for self-spanking. 

If self spanking is your thing all power to you. But using this as an example of why one would be nervous to find/have a spanking partner is exaggerating. As you stated this isnt common at all. This isnt even spanking, rather BDSM. Which is like comparing apples to oranges in my opinion. A big part of finding a spanking partner (outside of the business of professional spankers) is finding someone you trust and have a friendly relationship with. If they are friends with you and care about your interests, they will do what is needed rather than beat your kidneys out of you.

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7 hours ago, Rook said:

If self spanking is your thing all power to you. But using this as an example of why one would be nervous to find/have a spanking partner is exaggerating. As you stated this isnt common at all. This isnt even spanking, rather BDSM. Which is like comparing apples to oranges in my opinion. A big part of finding a spanking partner (outside of the business of professional spankers) is finding someone you trust and have a friendly relationship with. If they are friends with you and care about your interests, they will do what is needed rather than beat your kidneys out of you.

For me, spanking is for stress relief and personal enjoyment...so while I'm not into the other branches of BDSM or that style of play at all, I guess those apples and oranges are a bit more similar for me. They may be a bit different, but they both still fruit and taste similar to me. This is definitely an uncommonly extreme example of a very real and potential risk of boundaries being crossed and things taken too far, and even beyond consent. There are posts in these forums of people who were ultimately abused by spankers, even ones they knew and had done this with before. It's a horrible thing. And while I think those "spankers" are in the minority, it's still a reality that we have to be careful about, and enough to warrant being very vigilant in safety measures and being very proactively cautious with any potential spanking partner until they prove themselves.

This is still an example, though an extreme version, of why it's good to wait to meet any spanking partner until you feel you can take all the proper safety measures and are confident you can make good and educated judgments. Yes, the possibility of abuse and assault make me wary of meeting people, which is justified. But it also makes me really think about the best safety measures and a vetting plan. It makes me think things through as thoroughly and cautiously as I possibly can, so I feel more confident in my ability to properly and safely find a truly safe, sane, trustworthy partner should I ever desire one. 

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8 hours ago, Amethyst_Moon said:

For me, spanking is for stress relief and personal enjoyment...so while I'm not into the other branches of BDSM or that style of play at all, I guess those apples and oranges are a bit more similar for me. They may be a bit different, but they both still fruit and taste similar to me. This is definitely an uncommonly extreme example of a very real and potential risk of boundaries being crossed and things taken too far, and even beyond consent. There are posts in these forums of people who were ultimately abused by spankers, even ones they knew and had done this with before. It's a horrible thing. And while I think those "spankers" are in the minority, it's still a reality that we have to be careful about, and enough to warrant being very vigilant in safety measures and being very proactively cautious with any potential spanking partner until they prove themselves.

This is still an example, though an extreme version, of why it's good to wait to meet any spanking partner until you feel you can take all the proper safety measures and are confident you can make good and educated judgments. Yes, the possibility of abuse and assault make me wary of meeting people, which is justified. But it also makes me really think about the best safety measures and a vetting plan. It makes me think things through as thoroughly and cautiously as I possibly can, so I feel more confident in my ability to properly and safely find a truly safe, sane, trustworthy partner should I ever desire one. 

So there are a few issues I have this this statement that I wish to pick apart.

"...so while I'm not into the other branches of BDSM or that style of play at all, I guess those apples and oranges are a bit more similar for me. They may be a bit different, but they both still fruit and taste similar to me."

BDSM and spanking are 2 different entities. While a spanking can be BDSM, BDSM is not a spanking. The two are not mutually interchangeable. Spankings are generally categorized as erotic/play, stress relief, discipline, and BDSM. If you were to tell someone who was into BDSM that you are into BDSM or like the spanking side of BDSM, when you are into stress relief spankings. There will be a miscommunication. For that reason a distinction must be made.

  "This is definitely an uncommonly extreme example of a very real and potential risk of boundaries being crossed and things taken too far, and even beyond consent."

We should be cautious when making assumptions. I do not believe there is any substantial evidence to conclude this statement. If you are playing devils advocate, then fine. But otherwise I wouldnt assume.

"There are posts in these forums of people who were ultimately abused by spankers, even ones they knew and had done this with before. It's a horrible thing. And while I think those "spankers" are in the minority, it's still a reality that we have to be careful about, and enough to warrant being very vigilant in safety measures and being very proactively cautious with any potential spanking partner until they prove themselves. This is still an example, though an extreme version, of why it's good to wait to meet any spanking partner until you feel you can take all the proper safety measures and are confident you can make good and educated judgments."

I was not arguing that bad people don't exist nor was I trying to take away from anyone's bad experiences. You are correct people do need to vet their potential partners, especially those met online. And safety precautions should be discussed and executed by both parties. My issue was that this article is not a good example of this. This would be a better cautionary tale for people to learn their limits and make sure you both know what you are doing before you engage in any activities that could cause potential harm. But also remember that even the most experienced people can make mistakes. Safety precautions do not eliminate dangers. They minimize them and set controls in place to fix them, should they occur.

 

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1 hour ago, Rook said:

So there are a few issues I have this this statement that I wish to pick apart.

"...so while I'm not into the other branches of BDSM or that style of play at all, I guess those apples and oranges are a bit more similar for me. They may be a bit different, but they both still fruit and taste similar to me."

BDSM and spanking are 2 different entities. While a spanking can be BDSM, BDSM is not a spanking. The two are not mutually interchangeable. Spankings are generally categorized as erotic/play, stress relief, discipline, and BDSM. If you were to tell someone who was into BDSM that you are into BDSM or like the spanking side of BDSM, when you are into stress relief spankings. There will be a miscommunication. For that reason a distinction must be made.

  "This is definitely an uncommonly extreme example of a very real and potential risk of boundaries being crossed and things taken too far, and even beyond consent."

We should be cautious when making assumptions. I do not believe there is any substantial evidence to conclude this statement. If you are playing devils advocate, then fine. But otherwise I wouldnt assume.

"There are posts in these forums of people who were ultimately abused by spankers, even ones they knew and had done this with before. It's a horrible thing. And while I think those "spankers" are in the minority, it's still a reality that we have to be careful about, and enough to warrant being very vigilant in safety measures and being very proactively cautious with any potential spanking partner until they prove themselves. This is still an example, though an extreme version, of why it's good to wait to meet any spanking partner until you feel you can take all the proper safety measures and are confident you can make good and educated judgments."

I was not arguing that bad people don't exist nor was I trying to take away from anyone's bad experiences. You are correct people do need to vet their potential partners, especially those met online. And safety precautions should be discussed and executed by both parties. My issue was that this article is not a good example of this. This would be a better cautionary tale for people to learn their limits and make sure you both know what you are doing before you engage in any activities that could cause potential harm. But also remember that even the most experienced people can make mistakes. Safety precautions do not eliminate dangers. They minimize them and set controls in place to fix them, should they occur.

 

I appreciate the thorough and thoughtful response. I don't entirely agree with your takeaways from my followup post, but I am happy simply agreeing to disagree on this.

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4 hours ago, Amethyst_Moon said:

I appreciate the thorough and thoughtful response. I don't entirely agree with your takeaways from my followup post, but I am happy simply agreeing to disagree on this.

Thank you. I enjoy being able to have a discussion without it devolving into something distasteful. Especially with someone within my age range. Does not happen very often.

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58 minutes ago, Rook said:

Thank you. I enjoy being able to have a discussion without it devolving into something distasteful. Especially with someone within my age range. Does not happen very often.

I agree. I have never understood allowing a discussion with disagreeing views to descend into needless personal attacks, especially when neither of those differing views are harmful. It never helps anything. I'm glad we could have a civil discussion.

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