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Why do I feel the need for a Spanking?


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I have never been spanked but for awhile now, it really seems like I want one since I like reading about them. My husband is not interested in it so I am exploring spanking therapy privately.  Why do I feel such a desire to have a bare bottom spanking?

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  • 3 weeks later...

I highly recommend discussing this further with your husband.. trust and communication are such a huge factor in not only marriage but in spanking lifestyle.. I think you should discuss wanting to look into having a professional do it... you may be feeling this desire either because it sexually pleases you as a fetish or because the accountability and stress relief it may bring is a need for you.. sometimes it's all 3 :) the more research you do and the more you have an open line of communication with your ER the more you'll learn about yourself and why this is a need for you.😊

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There can be so many reasons for people why they love to spank/be spanked, and even if for the same reason, each situation is very unique. The question is why you want to know why you're like this, or experience feelings about it... You can give your mind a hard time to solve the mysterious puzzle but I guess the answer will never come. Do you know why someone likes classical music and hates hard rock or vice versa? Do you know why you like pizza more than anything else? Or why you love dogs more than cats? And so on...

It's about acceptance of the fact that at least you experience this need and you need to experience it I guess. And I agree so much with HannahKae that it's important to be open about it with your partner. It is not something to be ashamed of at all. And yes, be prepared he might not get it straight away... So talk talk talk and talk again....

I hope it's all gonna work out well for you!

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I think many of us ask ourselves this question. A spanking, done right, symbolizes accountability, caring, nurturing, and stress relief. Someone is giving us the gift of focused, one-on-one attention. They're sharing with us a sacred, intimate exchange of trust. Then endorphins (hormones that act as a sedative and reduce anxiety and the perception of pain) flood the body, bringing a sense of calm relief afterwards. The combination of these attributes can't help but making a good spanking a desired experience. 

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These are the hard questions. It is like trying to explain why you like chocolate more than strawberry ice cream, for example. In your case, since you have never been spanked, it could be simple curiosity. I would suggest seeking a professional who will be able to give you a safe, non-sexual, and defined spanking session that answers your curiosity, without the potential dangers of meeting a less vetted Spanker who may have their own agenda. Good luck on your journey.

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  • 2 months later...
On 4/25/2020 at 7:47 PM, CuriousTime said:

I have never been spanked but for awhile now, it really seems like I want one since I like reading about them. My husband is not interested in it so I am exploring spanking therapy privately.  Why do I feel such a desire to have a bare bottom spanking?

I have never been spanked, but this is something I crave. I'm scared of the pain, but I yearn for the release of control that comes with a spanking.

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  • 5 months later...

A spanking can make you feel cared for. It can be a relief to give up control to an authority figure who has your best intetests at heart. It can be a comfort to know someone cares about you enough to not like it when you screw up and do something about it. 

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  • 3 months later...

My personal theory is that it genetic.  But I'm firmly convinced the happiest of us are the ones who have accepted that we are who we are.  I love spanking and regardless of whether folks think it's a perversion, fetish, or birth defect it has made my love life much, much richer, adding layers of trust, intimacy, romance and excitement which otherwise wouldn't have been there. There are only so many hours in the day, and each one we spend trying to explain is one we cannot spend enjoying!

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On 5/12/2021 at 11:06 AM, Spankmered57 said:

I have the same feeling, it just comes upon me all of sudden that I have this inward desire to have my naked butt spanked so hard that it is 🍒🍒🍒🍒 cherry red and on 🔥🔥🔥🔥 fire for days afterwards. This burning feeling gives me that relaxed feeling and I can start changing negative behavior patterns like procrastination.  The issue I am dealing with that almost all my christian friends say it is a sin.  Even we hen I show them the scriptures backing up adult spanking, they seemed to already have their minds made up because they believe everything that is preached from the pulpit.  

My wife is totally against it because of her pentocostal upbringing.  When I mention my desires to be dpanked she tells me to stop my sexual perversions.  As a result of these barriers to spanking, I have turned to self spanking in the woods, with a hairbrush, wooden spoon or something small enough to hide the item so she won't ask any questions about my spanking implements Then I have to lie when my butt is black and blue and bruising.

I really would like to take my spanking desire to the next level which is having some one who would spank my butt cherry 🍒🍒🍒🍒 Cherry red and on 🔥🔥🔥🔥 fire for days afterwards.  This is the reason that  I would meet someone to hook up with in the tampa bay area that would spank my. Naked butt.  I also am willing to spank them also.  

If anyone is interested in helping me to achieve my spanking needs, you can email me at rmiles2057@gmail.com, or inbox me!!  Thank you for responding to my request and understanding, my inward passion to spank my naked butt until it is 🍒 🍒🍒🍒 cherry red butt and on 🔥🔥🔥🔥 and on fire for days afterwards,

Sadly this is a serious issue. I am sure you will have seen from this thread that a number of us submit to traditional correction because in some way we 'need rather than want' it. 

I for one, have no overt sexual or other desire to be whipped soundly with a rattan cane. It HURTS.

But I do need accountability and the threat of the cane keeps many of my behaviours in check....and when I do fall, the caning is at least cathartic.

That the cane is administered in the way it was in my teens is oddly reassuring: but I still dislike receiving it.

The problem is, there is a general assumption that adult correction of this nature is sexual or titillating. For many of us, it isn't.... at least consciously. In truth it is very hard to overcome that view that anyone so engaged is a 'spanko'... so we hide in the closet for fear of unjust judgement.

Sorry!

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