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I would suggest that humiliation and embarrassment are quite different. To me they are, certainly. 
 

I’m all in favor of a little embarrassment in a spanking situation, but “humiliation” connotes demeaning someone, which I will never participate in. YMMV. 

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4 hours ago, StrictGent said:

I would suggest that humiliation and embarrassment are quite different. To me they are, certainly. 
I’m all in favor of a little embarrassment in a spanking situation, but “humiliation” connotes demeaning someone, which I will never participate in. YMMV. 

I'm in agreement with StrictGent. Embarrassment is one of the "emotional discomforts" that makes a spanking both dreaded and tantalizing. But I refuse to humiliate the person who submits to me and trusts me, nor would I myself ever tolerate being debased.

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I don't think the embarrassment during a spanking is something to enjoy. I'm pretty sure I'd be sorry for disappointed my spanker which have led to the situation in the first place. And being embarrassed, is not something I would voluntarily get myself into. But certainly, the discomforts(it could be physical, mental, emotional) caused by embarrassment and the feeling of disappointing my spanker will act just as well as a deterrent like the actual spanking does.

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11 hours ago, StrictGent said:

I would suggest that humiliation and embarrassment are quite different. To me they are, certainly. 
 

I’m all in favor of a little embarrassment in a spanking situation, but “humiliation” connotes demeaning someone, which I will never participate in. YMMV.

I agree that humiliation and embarrassment are different.

However i don't think that i am someone that is experiencing embarrassment because i spank my self or if i would get spanked by someone else.

For me that does not make sense to be embarrass in those situations. 

For me if someone that would spank me wanted to humiliate me that is a red flag.

I'm not in to humiliation.

Can someone decode for me what this YMMV stands for?

 

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18 hours ago, StrictGent said:

I would suggest that humiliation and embarrassment are quite different. To me they are, certainly. 
 

I’m all in favor of a little embarrassment in a spanking situation, but “humiliation” connotes demeaning someone, which I will never participate in. YMMV. 

I agree with you separating the two issues. Embarrassment is very normal for most who are about to be spanked. The term 'humiliation can be debated' but using it in this dictionary sense "Humiliate means to make someone feel ashamed or stupid," would be wrong. And very close to abusing someone. 

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Ah yeah on reflection of your comments your right the title of it is very misleading to the question I was asking . 

 

Thanks all to those who have taken time to reply 

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Just my personal perspective - embarrasment in a spanking would be knowing that I'm across a spankers knee and my underpants are around my ankles. That accentuates the punishment but I can bear it.

Humiliation for me ( and this is based on a real life experience ) would be a different spanker saying "you look so @£$%ing stupid with your pants down" - that just upset me and made me angry.

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There are some very good points here. I had always equated the two (embarrassment and humiliation). I do enjoy some humiliation while being spanked. For instance, I like for the female.who is spanking me to laugh while she is administering the spanking. Like if she says "well look at this red bottom...ha ha ha ha...it matches the color of the walls in here". Of course, that is much lighter humiliation than an all out verbal lashing. But, the same time, I love to be viciously scolded. I like for the female to be really mad at me for what I have done. Not mad enough to kill me though, LOL. However, from that, I feel embarrassment, as I feel like I have been caught. So, really and truly, for the first time, I'm starting to see the difference. 

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3 hours ago, KentuckyGuy said:

It is always embarrassing enough without any extras being added to make it more so.

You may be luck in this regard. For some people, aspects (including nakedness) that were very embarrassing at first become more routine over time - which is why additional tweaks need to be added.

                                                                                                             Ex.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I do not like the word embarrassment. Like many negative words, I hate using or hearing it. I do not mind the word humiliation which is rather odd because I think it's annotation is just an extreme embarrassment. I do not think humiliation is instrically related to verbal mockery or cruelty. In prison, I would imagine that initially strip searches are humiliating no matter how polite and humane in the guard. And those are practical and not intended for punishment or discipline. During a spanking, obediently dropping trou in front of the ER is humiliating, waddling to the corner with your trousers and briefs is humiliating, being ordered to arch your back and stick out your rear further out for the paddle is humiliating, being told to get your butt back into place, or being ordered to assume and mantain the  diaper position, but these are acts of discipline, punishment, and dominance, not cruelty.

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It's a love hate relationship with embarrassment during the spanking. It is what makes the experience for me, but in the moment I absolutely freaking hate doing the things that embarrass me...which is the whole point. 

I hate being over a knee and the spanker uses my panties as a handle and pulls them up to spank me on the bare without taking them off. 

I hate being made to stand up and having my panties pulled down for me and made to go back over.

I hate being made to switch positions in the middle of the spanking, bottom already red, waddling to a new spot. I feel like I am on display and I absolutely hate it. 

I hate positions that prop my bottom in the air, like several pillows under me on the bed, or over the back of a couch or chair with my feet off of the floor. Still feel like I am on display.

I hate the shameful waddle to the corner to stand with a freshly spanked bottom on display, especially when they make me keep pants and panties around my knees.

I hate all of these things with a passion, and absolutely stomp my feet when they come up in a spanking, which never works out to my favour. But a spanking wouldn't be a spanking without them to me.

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1 hour ago, AshOTKLife said:

I hate all of these things with a passion, and absolutely stomp my feet when they come up in a spanking, which never works out to my favour. But a spanking wouldn't be a spanking without them to me.

I think my approach to spanking and purpose in engaging might be pretty different from some of you. But I decided to go ahead and post this anyway.

I love what AshOTKLife has to say about this. It is a juxtaposition of the things that we say we hate but are really gateways to what we crave. How many of us really like the initial pain of the spanking? For me, I will do anything I can when I’m being spanked and try to get her to go easy on me at the beginning. But I hate it when she does.  I feel that I’ve defeated her.  If I can keep her from hurting me,  It may spoil things and I may not get where I hope we go together.

When I’m giving the spanking,   I try to be kind but firm. Of course, her pants and panties are coming down and probably off.
 I want her to lie over my lap and feel how vulnerable she is. I may stroke her and talk to her.  I’m probably not just going to start in. I may tell her that I want her to make me proud and that I know she’s capable of taking what I’m about to give her. I might even tell her that this is really what she craves and she knows it will be worth it.    I’ll probably lay out a paddle even when I don’t plan to use it.
This part of the spanking may be a little like jumping off the high dive board. Once you’re up there, especially when someone’s in line behind you, there’s no way out except to jump.   I know that she may be experiencing this feeling and give her enough comfort and reassurance that she won’t panic. But, the spanking is coming, it’s going to hurt, and she’s going to surrender before it’s over. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be in this position with me. Maybe someone else, but not with me.
We’re going to be even better friends when it’s over, and if we are successful, she will have reached a new place, maybe even a new stage of her own growth.  I say we, because this is a partnership.  My role is to help her and her role is to be clear with me and cooperate. For me, the experience starts way before the spanking and continues way after.  The worst cases that she will be less stressed. And, of course, I will enjoy doing it.
   Even if I’m just using my hand,  She will feel each spank from the beginning.  Because I have a large hand and I’m very strong, I can pretty well cover her bottom, or at least a great deal of it and connect very solidly for as long as I want.  But the amount of pain she feels it’s going to be up to her and how I think she’s reacting. It’s not formulaic. I feel her, sense  her breathing, and at times, may stop and comfort her. But then I start again and I can go as long and hard as it takes to get her to surrender. I might use the panel but she has to give me permission. I’ve had women tell me that my hand is worse than paddle because of the emotional connection. I’ve also had one who would actually say “more please.”  That’s when I knew to switch to the paddle el and speed up.
This isn’t about giving pain, although pain is an essential part; it’s about reaching an emotional place together where we connect and she gives in and lowers the walls and lets her temporarily Put down the heavy burden that she’s been carrying.   And maybe even reaches bliss.

 

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I was always told that I should feel embarrassed and ashamed at being spanked.

And I usually do but then if it becomes frequent enough does the embstesment and shame ever subside? 

Maybe it does.

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the most humilatinting  and embrassing  spanking  for me is being spanked on the sitspots in the diaper postion with my spanker holding my legs up  i presume a few spankees will agree with me

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   From both sides, I find the diaper position very powerful. 

   As an 'er, one of the many things I like about it is that I can gaze directly into her eyes and require her to look into mine.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                           -Ex.

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  • 1 year later...

I find shame and embarrassment integral parts of the spanking experience. Understanding and processing these emotions is very important - both for spanker and spankee.

 

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