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What do You Think of FetLife?


Chawsee

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Just now, sassylittle said:

I'm not competing with another woman, ever. If keeping her happy was more important than keeping me happy, she's welcome to him. I'm worth more than that?

Exactly!  And you shouldn’t have to ever compete with another woman.  You’re the one and only SassyLittle.  ?

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3 minutes ago, SpudStateSpanky said:

I offered my time generously (because believe me, there are many people here who I’d rather spend my time on!) to give you one-on-one attention in a PM discussion.  Why are you not accepting my offer?

You want to talk to me in this patronising, gender-skewed manner, then do it here rather than hiding in PM's. From my point of view, why the hell should I PM you just because "generously" offered your time? Get over yourself.

I won't say what I really think of you, but suffice to say if you came into my place of work and spoke to me or another member of female staff in this manner, it would not go well for you. 

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Get the picture spudsy!  No one wants to PM with you... stop retaliating when we deny you... you clearly have issues with women that are frankly disturbing for someone who solicits on a site to spank women.  RED FLAGS!

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1 minute ago, MaryJo1996 said:

You want to talk to me in this patronising, gender-skewed manner, then do it here rather than hiding in PM's. From my point of view, why the hell should I PM you just because "generously" offered your time? Get over yourself.

I won't say what I really think of you, but suffice to say if you came into my place of work and spoke to me or another member of female staff in this manner, it would not go well for you. 

Ok, your choice.

 ????

Thank you for making my day!  Your second paragraph made me laugh so hard I about peed my pants.  It’s hilarious when someone who isn’t scary tries to be.

On a separate note, this amusing banter back and forth with you really is now wasting my time.  Drivel on all you like.  Please, continue......  Maybe somebody will read it and care.    

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5 minutes ago, MissNikki said:

Get the picture spudsy!  No one wants to PM with you... stop retaliating when we deny you... you clearly have issues with women that are frankly disturbing for someone who solicits on a site to spank women.  RED FLAGS!

When “we” deny you???? I never offered to PM you, only MaryJo, who seemed to need to hash this out in detail.  The only communication I’ve had with you is my public post in reply to your creepy comment about the enjoyment you derived from spanking children.

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11 minutes ago, SpudStateSpanky said:

Ok, your choice.

 ????

Thank you for making my day!  Your second paragraph made me laugh so hard I about peed my pants.  It’s hilarious when someone who isn’t scary tries to be.

On a separate note, this amusing banter back and forth with you really is now wasting my time.  Drivel on all you like.  Please, continue......  Maybe somebody will read it and care.    

Yeah, not trying to be scary, just pointing out a fact, pal.

You really are a patronising piece of...well, we know what. 

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2 hours ago, DaChief said:

The ban hasn't gone into effect yet, and it's been met with backlash, but they're reviewing options on it. Frankly, I think they have to. The site is based out of Canada, which has strict anti-hate speech laws. America's political dysfunction is running up hard against those laws right now. 

There are groups on Fetlife that were created specifically for people to rant on various topics, insult each other, and basically entertain themselves acting like assholes. They have absolutely nothing to do with BDSM. Anyone can create a Fetlife group for pretty much any topic they want (other than pedophilia, incest, and one or two other things) and with over 4 million users worldwide, you can only imagine.  Of course, no one is obligated to join any of these groups and if you don't, you won't see the content.

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12 minutes ago, Spanknutt said:

There are groups on Fetlife that were created specifically for people to rant on various topics, insult each other, and basically entertain themselves acting like assholes.

I can thing of better ways to entertain myself but I'll remember that concept if I get real bored?

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Yeah except for old spudsy was pm'ing me on the chat board to ask for very detailed descriptions of my spankings and when he was denied he decided to retaliate because... well that's what abusers do when women don't give them what they want... good riddance spuds and to the other accounts you sign on as.  

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21 hours ago, Spankalogical said:

First of all...

How about everyone calm down, I don't think we need to resurrect an 8 month old topic just to burn each other regarding differences of opinions and things said almost a year ago.

Agreed, not sure why it was brought back up after my thread warning -- asking people to drop it 8 months ago :) There was also context from the poster around this same time period judging others on SN (in which provoked people into feeling judged on SN). I want SN to be run as a save heaven to all consenting adults not some that have opinions that others are going into this lifestyle 'wrongly'. 

THREAD WARNING: If you have issue with a member - block them; or ignore them. Do not keep derailing threads. It's not productive.

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4 minutes ago, Child of Light said:

Agreed, not sure why it was brought back up after my thread warning -- asking people to drop it 8 months ago :) There was also context from the poster around this same time period judging others on SN (in which provoked people into feeling judged on SN). I want SN to be run as a save heaven to all consenting adults not some that have opinions that others are going into this lifestyle 'wrongly'. 

Thanks for this post.  It clarifies some things.

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23 minutes ago, Child of Light said:

THREAD WARNING: If you have issue with a member - block them; or ignore them. Do not keep derailing threads. It's not productive.

I need to add that I apologize for my part in this.  It was disrespectful to Miss Chawsee’s thread, and it was disrespectful to the friends here who I like and care about. I should have chosen the block feature sooner, but for my part in what happened today, I’m sorry.

Tim

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14 minutes ago, SpudStateSpanky said:

I need to add that I apologize for my part in this.  It was disrespectful to Miss Chawsee’s thread, and it was disrespectful to the friends here who I like and care about. I should have chosen the block feature sooner, but for my part in what happened today, I’m sorry.

Tim

It takes a good man to aplogise. I have a lot of respect for you and I hope others will accept that apology. You represent @Chawsee well.

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If I hadn't found Fetlife 10 months ago, I would still be pretty much 'in the closet.' I had been fantasizing about spanking since early childhood, hiding it for decades and trying to repress it mostly. It showed me I wasn't alone and that I didn't need to be ashamed of it (which I still struggle with, but am leaps and bounds ahead of where I started).

The specific spanking groups can be a great source of information, and I have met a few people that I am friends with. People who finally 'get me' and have been a source of information and support as I start to navigate my way. I wouldn't trade them for the world. One of them, Spanknutt, directed me here. I can tell him things I can't seem to tell anyone else.

That being said, being female and a bottom, there have been many unpleasant and a few relatively disturbing experiences I have had on Fetlife. The explicit pictures of equipment and the messages that begin with "Hello, Whore/Slut" don't bug me. Not worth giving them any power whatsoever. The people that have hurt me have been those I counted as friends that then became too demanding (or downright crazy) despite explicit boundaries - and one guy (who I thought was a friend) who created a fake profile to try to 'expose' me as a fake or some kind of elaborate hoax. Apparently, it isn't uncommon for there to be men posing as women, communicating with Tops/Doms, etc. on Fetlife. I would never have known that, but it was a painful lesson.

I guess what I am trying to say, and pardon the dissertation, is that there is good there, but it is tempered by some potential negatives. Take the pieces that are valuable and leave the rest. And if you are female, a thicker skin might be required for the bullshit you get in your inbox frequently. I screenshot the funniest ones and keep them for when I need a good laugh. 

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1 hour ago, Spanknutt said:

There are groups on Fetlife that were created specifically for people to rant on various topics, insult each other, and basically entertain themselves acting like assholes. They have absolutely nothing to do with BDSM. Anyone can create a Fetlife group for pretty much any topic they want (other than pedophilia, incest, and one or two other things) and with over 4 million users worldwide, you can only imagine.  Of course, no one is obligated to join any of these groups and if you don't, you won't see the content.

Very true. Since the 2016 election, many people decided to go around that by posting political rants as status updates and journal entries. The driving theory was "social activism" and "spreading the message" because status updates and journal entries will populate into people's feeds, unlike the group chatter. That's what's been setting people off about the politically charged nature of FetLife.

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1 hour ago, DaChief said:

Very true. Since the 2016 election, many people decided to go around that by posting political rants as status updates and journal entries. The driving theory was "social activism" and "spreading the message" because status updates and journal entries will populate into people's feeds, unlike the group chatter. That's what's been setting people off about the politically charged nature of FetLife.

 That was my issue. I couldn't care less what people do in groups designed for that purpose but it shouldn't be spread around the site. It should be kept out of people's feeds. The people that were liking any of the political posts were just as bad because they were encouraging it. Leave the politics out of people's feeds and if they want to rant in groups then they can join them. Some of us only want to see BDSM and I was under the belief that was the site's real purpose.

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