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Does anyone know about your spanking life?

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We practice real domestic discipline in our relationship and our dynamic is pretty much 24/7. But no one knows we practice spanking.. or discipline at all for that matter. We have an age difference that would make it perfectly reasonable he be the dominant in the relationship. I always wonder if people have suspicions but I think they just think I’m really well behaved lol. I’m into discussing our household discipline with new friends who share the interest. But I don’t think I would want our families or regular friends to know what we did.. they wouldn’t understand it.  

I’m wondering if anyone is actually open about their spanking life to their “everyday” people? 

 

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It’s really nobody’s business. It is like talking about what I do with my lady love in bed— there has to be a very good reason... or else it’s just really ugly. But there are reasons. Spanking, discipline come up. Even BSDM, which I am not into. Other kinks. Sometimes it’s really helpful to put oneself out on a limb. Hey man, I did that— got any questions? The other thing, it was was often not in my primary committed relationship. So one can be risking “outing” somebody. Outing anybody for anything isn’t cool. 

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No, I’m not. I keep this part of my life private.  Friends / Family are very likely not to understand.  Some come out to others, for me personally, this is private for me.   Spanking is not sexual to me.  But as an example, people don’t usually discuss their sex life with family/friends in detail (some may lol).  I’m a believer in, as long as things are consensual, what goes on behind closed doors, belongs behind closed doors.  

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The only ones who know are those whom I have spanked

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I have a handful of friends who know but mostly no.

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No except my friend who is part of my safety net and those who spank me or I spank know I am a spanko. 

 

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oh heck no!! only the guy who has previously spanked me. I would be very embarrassed if anyone i knew found out.

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I guess we are a bit different.  Perhaps because it is my second 24/7 DD relationship and combined it is about 20 years.  Some of our friends have 'discovered' our lifestyle and have been indifferent about it, which is good.  In this current relationship (over 11 years) we do not broadcast our lifestyle, but if someone finds out and asks, we are OK in discussing it.  None of my family knows, but I think one of my brothers has a idea.  On her side it is different.  That family were BDSM and spanking toy makers and vendors at shows.  I worked for the family before I met my current life partner who was a half sister of the owner of the company.   So all of her family knows I am the submissive partner in our 24/7 DD relationship.  They all know I am spanked, some have seen me spanked and one has actually spanked me.

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Mostly no, though I have told 2 of my closest friends... They didn't quite understand our dynamic and thought I was just talking about "getting freaky in bed" but it felt so good to tell them. My mother accidentally found out I call my husband Daddy😬 but she doesn't know the exact dynamic or anything. Other than previous ER's and one night stands though, no one else knows. But I'm not against people knowing. I'm not really ashamed or embarrassed by it.

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Yes my twin brother we have the same needs 

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I've told a few close friends. Oddly, I think, they are all women, they're the ones I felt would be less judgy and more open to it. So far, all the people I told expressed interest, some surprise, but absolutely no judgment. It felt good being able to tell people and be accepted, it really did.

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NO! This is a very private part of my life. An enormous part, but private nonetheless. It's something the public knows nothing about. 

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Yes, a number of my vanilla and Facebook friends know plus one sister who has seen my Fetlife page and my toy bag. It has never shocked anyone and I think it has made a number of people curious and some a little jealous. Everyone has their secrets and I found that when I became comfortable enough to start talking about it, other people became more comfortable talking about themselves. 

I have a friend from high school who was coming through North Carolina a couple years ago and wanted a place to stay on her way back to Ohio. I told her she could stay here for the night. The conversation got pretty candid and I told her about the spanking stuff. Then she told me her ex-husband and she were swingers for many years and shared some of her stories. At the end of the night she said, "wow, we covered a lot of ground in a hurry."

My sister confided to me that she has a guy who does foot worship with her after I came out to her. Because we have been conditioned to believe that spanking is taboo, we tend to fear that we will be judged by others. What I have found is that no one really cares what I do - they all have their own stuff to worry about. Of course, I didn't get to this place overnight. I hid it for a lot of years too but, as StrictGent said, it feels good to be able to talk about it without guilt.

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Only my three mentors knew.

The first has been Called to Glory

The second is 12,000 miles away.

So in effect, my current mentor....only! 

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A few of my friends know, I've even made plans with them "after my spanking".

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Years ago, I remember seeing a magazine cartoon where a group of very ordinary, middle-class men going were going bowling and rang the doorbell of one of their buddies'  houses to pick him up for the game.
His wife came to the door in a black  dominatrix outfit that barely covered her  with a whip and told him "he can't come out, he's being punished."
That was always my fantasy of letting people know!

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Oh no, this isn’t the sort of thing you tell just anyone.  In a strange way, I almost prefer that the people in my life don’t know about it, that it isn’t an accepted thing. It’s a little secret, it’s a little embarrassing, and that makes it a little exciting. Does that make sense?

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So you know where I am coming from, my wife and I are licensed professionals, and as such, we have to be totally discreet about our interests in spanking.  Personally, I would recommend that you let as few people know as possible.  It's not out of shame.  It's more about my assessment of the general public and their understanding (or lack of it) concerning this lifestyle.  Maybe I overcompensate, but none of our friends or relatives know about it.  And that's saying something.  I have a couple of close friends going back to my college years that know just about everything there is to know about me, except this.  I can't be certain, but I don't believe that my wife has let even her closest friends know.  My wife and I keep it utterly private.  Sorry if I seem paranoid.  But this is a touchy subject, so be careful.  

 

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My kids know, they are older, but they don’t know everything. My girlfriend lives with me and is fine with it. A few of our friends know too. The majority of family doesn’t know. 

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23 hours ago, Rand E said:

So you know where I am coming from, my wife and I are licensed professionals, and as such, we have to be totally discreet about our interests in spanking.  Personally, I would recommend that you let as few people know as possible

I couldn’t agree more with this. I suppose it depends on your profession, situation, and many other things.

A friend of mine once told me, “You cannot unring that bell.“  While he was talking about another kind of action, I think it applies here.

If you start telling people and it causes a problem, it’s not reversible. Why take a chance If you have a concern.

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I have one friend who knows all about my spanking life other then that it's only people on here

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Over the years I have surrounded myself with friends from the spanking community so I would say 75% of my friends know. My best friend from high school has known since the beginning. She eventually got into it as well.

I came out to my kids about 8 or 9 years ago. Found out my oldest son was into it as well. His wife also knows. I didn't want to hide things in my own home. I am very comfortable with who I am and I don't want to have to pretend otherwise at home.

My Mom has a general idea after staying in my home for awhile. We've never discussed it. My older brother knows I'm a submissive although I've never really given details of my relationship. He's very Dominant so we have discussed a lot about Dominance and submission over the years.

My best male friend knows. He's not into it but we discuss it frequently. He respects who I am and encouraged me to find someone else after I lost my husband. He knew spanking and submission were a big part of me.

I'm not going to go out and announce it to the world, but I also don't try real hard to hide it. I am who I am and I'm not ashamed of it.

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  I have been so discrete over all my spanking interest over the years. I have gone to many spanking events and vacations with spanking friends.I keep my special friends away from my vanilla friends and family. I don`t think theirs any need to tell anyone in my public life about this. Why take a chance and tell someone? It could turn the other way, in a bad way. I am so glad I have kept quiet over my special interest. I might  have missed out on a few  dates if I was  to be more open, but over all I`m glad.

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It's known to many of my friends who are mainly littles that I'm an 'ee as are a number of them and it isn't uncommon for me to be spanked in private but whilst they are on the premises which is fine cos we all operate on the basis our lives are through consent as we feel comfortable with so while BDSM isn't my thing, the odd one may be 'tied up' quite literally, if that gets their rocks off I'm happy and they're happy with spanked me. It also means I can get a second opinion on anything I was thinking about exploring easily.

I just find being in an open circle that accept I have a NEED to be spanked helps.

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