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Dating: When to Confess One's Spanking Fetish?


Chawsee

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Two years late to the party with this thread, but I'll offer a hard-won pearl for those trying to decide when to breach the "spanking thing".

The commitment I made to myself when a 20 year relationship ended, was that my number one relationship philosophy from that point on would be nothing less than straightforward, direct and brutal honesty.  I would both give it, and require it in order to be in any relationship again.  I did a LOT of compromising of my own needs & desires in my marriage - and really thought I was doing the noble thing...one of the biggest mistakes I made was not only suppressing my own needs/desires (a form of dishonesty) but I compromised on requiring forthright and honest communication from my partner.

I'm in a wonderful, long-term committed relationship now  - but if I was single and dating (bleccchhh), within the first few dates I would be tossing out the standard fishing lures, first as an "Er (looks like someone's been kinda naughty and needs a good spankin')  - notice you should always say "spankin' without the "g" first - it's more playful😆
Soon after however, I'd take a deep breath and let on that I'm the one who needs one, and let the chips fall where they may!

Hope that helps someone - it was a hard, expensice lesson to learn
 

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The absolute best thing to do is talk about your interest in spanking while dating ,as soon as possible. Definitely before you are married.

The subject is embarrassing to most people to bring up, but it necessary especially if you have a strong interest in spanking. Your partner dating will at least give spanking a try if that person is interested in a long term relationship.

In my husband case I found his spanking material, yes it was embarrassing for him. However it saved him from having to tell me and I took it from their.

Absolutely be honest with your partner and don't hide your interest. It will be good for both parties.

MS. L.

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  • 1 month later...
On 10/5/2022 at 4:48 AM, Spanakopita said:

If dating with the intention of a pronouncedly wholesome marriage with several children, including an active church life of any faith and denomination with the normie vanillas, I for one would not bring up spanking at all.  My opinion may be unpopular, but, I dare not wager my life that my spanking needs plus that sort of family life would mix any better than oil and water.  

I do not doubt the possibility of exceptions, but, I am not going to skip out on the otherwise wife of my dreams just because she’s too wholesome and/or vanilla for spanking.  My hope is to fulfill my spanking needs before marriage, and then during marriage I would be able to be fulfilled of my spanking needs from my memories.  Yes, it feels sorry that I am liable to one day choose the permanent sublimation of my spanking needs, but if my marriage otherwise works for me, then I need marriage more.  One thing is for sure, marriage is something I only wish to go through, once.

That means you are doing adultery before marraige which isn't commendable. I wouldn't dream of telling my girlfriend before I was married. When I did marry we had regular sex then the spanking desires were arousing me so I asked her to spank me and she did. She is not a spanko but she regularly meets my need of spanking and is very comfortable with it. If you saw her doing it you would think she was a professional. She may like it a lot but I don't want to risl asking her if she does.

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 1/2/2023 at 3:06 PM, Tony Conrad said:

She is not a spanko but she regularly meets my need of spanking and is very comfortable with it. If you saw her doing it you would think she was a professional. She may like it a lot but I don't want to risl asking her if she does.

If she thought she was a non-spanko before, I would bet she likes it a lot more than she expected! 

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