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What's Your Hard Limit?

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On 4/19/2020 at 9:59 AM, Amethyst_Moon said:

I have a few...

- There will always be a safeword 

- No breaking skin or bleeding 

- Absolutely nothing sexual involved. That also includes no full nudity or being only in undergarments (Of course my bottom can be bared for a spanking, but removing my top and/or bra is not necessary for a spanking).

- No humiliation, verbal degradation 

- No plugs, enemas, digging, or anything of the sort.

- No additional "punishments" (mouth-soaping, corner time, lines, etc.) Spanking isn't disciplinary for me, so other forms of discipline are not a part of this lifestyle for me. I am only interested in spanking alone. (Corner time might seem like a weird limit, but kind of falls under humiliation for me. I would feel I was on display and feel more submission in that position, which is not a feeling I desire).

- Power exchange outside of the physical spankings. (I am not a submissive, so I only bottom or "submit" while being physically spanked. A spanker does not have any authority over me beyond the power to spank me). Basically, power exchange is limited to the duration during physical spankings themselves. It is not a dynamic outside of that. I don't enjoy feeling dominated, and it brings a lot of negative feelings.

For now, my limits are mostly theoretical, since I'm not active, but my list is essentially the same as Amethyst_Moon's, for the same reasons. I'm a spankee but NOT at all submissive. The only time, place, and way I'm willing to submit is in spanking, and even there, I need to know through and through that it's my choice and my decision to do so. Broken skin and bleeding are HUGE squicks for me, and I'm NOT into plugs or enemas or anything of that sort.

The only item on this list that isn't necessarily my hard limit is nothing sexual. That one would depend on my relationship with the spanker. If it were someone I also had a sexual relationship with, sexual activities would be fine, and desired. But if my spanker were just a spanking friend, not a romantic partner, I wouldn't want anything sexual (except for being aroused by the spanking itself), and I would want to remain fully clothed except for having my bottom bared for the spanking. I would need to fully trust that they wouldn't even try to go there.

Another limit for me is scolding. I've watched spanking videos and found myself getting triggered if the spanker was scolding the spankee, even if it was crystal clear that this was what worked for the spankee. The worst, which really made me have to stop watching, was if it was something like, "I'm disappointed in you," "I don't want to see you ever doing that again," "You can do better," words to that effect. Maybe it's effective for people who really want discipline, but I had so many experiences of being blamed and punished (though not physically) for things I really couldn't control, that this kind of "accountability" feels traumatizing to me. Now, I probably would be fine with very playful pretend scolding, (ie "You brat, I should've done this long ago!") if it isn't too close to reality.

 

 

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* Using slurs eg. "Bitch" "slut" etc. Even if they're being used "affectionately"

* Penetration during a spanking (butt or vagina). In fact, anything that makes it overly sexual/erotic. Not a fan of unnecessary nudity during a spanking. 

* Breaking skin / drawing blood

* Mouthsoaping I think is a soft limit for me.

* Various other limits that would more likely come up if we were discussing bdsm stuff: no gags, no scat/watersports, not into age-play, etc. 

 

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On 7/10/2020 at 5:31 PM, Bramblewine said:

I'm a spankee but NOT at all submissive. The only time, place, and way I'm willing to submit is in spanking, and even there, I need to know through and through that it's my choice and my decision to do so. Broken skin and bleeding are HUGE squicks for me, and I'm NOT into plugs or enemas or anything of that sort.

Well said. I'm the same way.

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I am open-minded to a lot of things, but there are a couple off the top of my head that I can think of as hard limits:

- No Safe-word (At least until there is a well established relationship).

- Serious bleeding & marks that go beyond some minor bruises and welts.

- Submission that goes beyond a discipline type relationship (i.e. Master/Slave).  As a switch spanko, I am neither a submissive nor a dominant - but rather a spanker or spankee.

- Sexual acts mixed with spanking.

- Humiliation & degrading language that goes beyond the embarrassment of a bare bottom spanking.

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-Blood or any other bodily fluids for that matter. I actually don't mind bruising so much since it will happen at some point I'm sure. 

-Anything sexual beyond the scope of spanking itself. 

-Degrading language. Just no. Unless you're in an M/s type of relationship there is absolutely no place for it. 

-Lastly, since no one else said it - being "unclean". If you know you have a session, wash yourself before hand. Showers are a wonderful thing that should be used daily! That goes for EE's and ER's equally. 

 

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Mine are;

No brutal implements (as spanker or spankee) things like canes, birches, prison straps etc. Not interested in brutalising or being brutalised.

Nothing overly degrading - spankings should be about lifting someone up as much as they are painful and embarrassing and the conversations should reflect this (whilst still reminding the spankee of why they're being spanked of course). 

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Anything outside loving domestic discipline is my hard limit. No blood or permanent scar marks or broken skin etc etc. No "worshipping" of any kind. Just good old fashioned spankings.

"SSC" is the mode of play - Safe, Sane, consensual.

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I have no problems with blood, marks or any bruising. I'm into "CNC" so have no use for a safe word, but I need to trust the person I am doing that with.

I don't like verbal degradation/abuse.

No mouth soaping, enemas, scat or diapers.

I am very open and experimental so don't have a huge list of hard limits!

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No blood. No face-slapping. No hitting on hands or feet. Embarrassment is fine but no degradation. No calling me a slut, whore, bitch, slave, etc. At the root of a relationship, spanking or otherwise, basic respect. I do have a safeword but have never used it.

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No blood or cuts. Spanking only on the butt or thighs. 

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Verbal humiliation as opposed to appropriate scolding as part of a roleplay scene, spankers who don't take it seriously and having my legs smacked without being asked first.

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I agree with almost everyone so far. I draw a line at blood, face slapping, degradation, etc. Spanking is for fun and/or punishment, not to maim or scar, (physicallyor emotionally). I know some go to those extremes, but it's not for me.

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