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Growing up I was ALWAYS spanked with a belt from a very young age till u was about 12/13. It ALWAYS left bruises sometimes up to 2 weeks after. Even though I wasnt being spanked anymore, I always had anxiety attacks, or my stomach would start "jumping" when I'd hear a belt handle clinking, whether it was putting one on or taking it off or even just holding it. As I grew up the feelings lessened slightly,  enough that I thought I'd be open to receiving the belt again as its effective,  but everytime I hear it I get terrified.. I know it's not going to hurt me the same way as it used to but it makes me have anxiety attacks nearly everytime.. its really just that dang sound.. 

I guess I just wanted to ask if I'm weird? Or if some of you also have an implement you cant ever have used on you again? 

 

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I don’t think it’s weird at all.  I’ve had some spankees tell me, that certain implements were a hard limit for that very same reason.  There’s really no need to jump in to getting spanked with a belt. If you have/or find a spanker that you trust, there are plenty of other implements out there.  You can get hand spankings also, and leave it at that. Down the road, when you are truly comfortable with someone and if you chose to try a belt, have them start slowly/not too hard.  Definitely baby steps with that implement.  Be open with spankers about the trigger so they are informed.  If you are into this lifestyle, do what’s best for you. Don’t feel pressured to do something to please someone else, that you aren’t 100% comfortable with.  

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Agrees with @Jaded.  Not weird at all.  I've had several spankees (as I alluded on another thread) for whom a belt was a hard limit for that very reason.  For some others, a belt was extremely effect for the same exact reason.  Go figure.  I've had spankees develop a liking over time for an implement (say, a cane) that the did not like at first for one reason or another but, when introduced gradually, the spankee was able to develop a taste for.

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I don't think it's weird whatsoever.  I also had the belt used on me and would get terrified when I was sentenced to a belt spanking because of how badly it stung.  Oddly enough now as an adult I have very mixed feelings when I think of being spanked with a belt again.  I can remember how I'd feel back then and how awful it was but I also have this curiosity about experiencing it again as an adult.  Maybe PTSD isn't the right term for how I feel about it but there are definitely intense feelings that relate to the belt for me that I don't have when I think of other spanking implements or being spanked with a hand.

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I think anything you set as a limit is ok.  
 

I feel frightened when I see or hear the heaviest paddle coming out because I know how much this is going to hurt and bruise.  She wouldn’t be using it unless she planned to give me a very serious and long paddling.  She is often mad or at least determined to cause me to submit and surrender when she uses this paddle.  

I usually like the feeling later and relish the memory. 

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not weird at all, I have found this to be pretty common really. My wife for example can take a really hard spanking with a wood paddle.... her dad used that, but wants nothing to do with even the mildest spanking from a hair brush... what her mother used.... she has no issue with spankings her mom or dad gave her, but for some unknown reason, the hairbrush is off limits on her. On the other hand I spank a guy that only wants to have a hairbrush used on him for the same reason.... his mother used the brush on him..... We are all different, and no matter the reason you  just have to go with what you are comfortable with, no matter what others think. be safe and just enjoy what you enjoy or need, and let the rest go.

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I'm really glad I'm not alone in this! I felt silly calling it PTSD but I have no other explanation for how it makes me feel. ❤️ thank you for all the comments. I love not feeling alone in this stuff/lifestyle anymore.

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  • 3 weeks later...

If, growing up, you had bruises that lasted up to two weeks after a spanking, it sounds to me like discipline crossed the line into abuse. Since you're now suffering from excessive fear and anxiety attacks, you've pretty much confirmed this. Have you seen a professional counselor? I'm not certain that more spanking is in your best interest until this past trauma has been addressed.  

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1 hour ago, Chawsee said:

If, growing up, you had bruises that lasted up to two weeks after a spanking, it sounds to me like discipline crossed the line into abuse. Since you're now suffering from excessive fear and anxiety attacks, you've pretty much confirmed this. Have you seen a professional counselor? I'm not certain that more spanking is in your best interest until this past trauma has been addressed.  

Bruises did often last longer than 2 days, but I really only have issues with the belt. Spanking itself has helped my anxiety A LOT. I havent been to counseling in a long time.. but even when I went I couldn't talk about it. I still dont think I could..

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It is not weird at all. For me, somebody cracking a belt can do it, but also, using language that sounds cruel or sadistic (often things other spankos are OK with) will do it.  It’s not so much that I get triggered to anxiety or panic, but rather, to anger.  It has taken me decades to even get near it in therapy (only after almost destroying my life), and it has been a very difficult experience.   I hope you find a way to get help with it.  

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