Jump to content
Spanking Needs Forums

Aroused during a discipline spanking?


Recommended Posts

I’m wondering if it’s common to get aroused during a punishment? It seems to happen to me even when I know I am in trouble and shouldn’t be enjoying myself. I am curious if others have experienced this and if they have found any way to combat it. I don’t want my spanker to think I am enjoying a punishment. Thanks!

  • Like 1
Link to post

It is very common for males and females to be aroused at the beginning of punishment.  But during a punishment that usually goes away fairly quickly as the punishment is administered.  This means punishment should be severe to overcome any enjoyment of it at the time of administration.

  • Like 1
Link to post

I have not spoken with her for years but a spankee once told me she was spanked OTK, bare bottom by her Dad growing up.  When she was 16, she had an organism while he was spanking her.  She was not she if he knew or not.  He never let on that he did, but that was the last time he spanked her.  

Link to post

Another old thread that might interest you:

https://www.spankingneeds.com/board/index.php?/topic/22973-punishment-or-pleasure/&tab=comments#comment-145769

There are probably more instances of even older threads that delve into this topic, but the 2 that I linked here are a couple of fairly recent examples.

I have had this issue dealing with the overlap between erotic and disciplinary spanking for a while.  Some of the reactions I got from others here made me wonder if this is a rare problem, like I must be a bit off not to be able to clearly tell the difference. 

I really like to talk to other spankos about this topic erotic-versus-disciplinary and pain-versus-pleasure because it both intrigues and perplexes me in my own relationship, and I want to know if others here run into these same issues.  Because, well, I don't want to feel like an oddball.  :unsure:

 

 

 

Link to post
14 hours ago, Borasa24 said:

I’m wondering if it’s common to get aroused during a punishment? It seems to happen to me even when I know I am in trouble and shouldn’t be enjoying myself. I am curious if others have experienced this and if they have found any way to combat it. I don’t want my spanker to think I am enjoying a punishment. Thanks!

My experience is somewhat different from Chamed.  I find that women I spank gradually get more and more aroused during a disciplinary spanking, and the more disciplinary it is, the more they get aroused.  I don't think this should be considered unusual, at least not in M/f spankings.  To submit to discipline is acceptance of authority, of a power dynamic, and this seems to pay into women's most intimate feelings.  I'd like to think it's my skill, and that may play a part, but I know better: It's the women's need.

  • Like 2
Link to post

I have a couple of data point which might shed some light here.  My girlfriend and I have a spencer spanking agreement.  It's a bit more complicated than this but we both serve as each other's disciplinarians.  Also, bdsm and spanking are incorporated into our bedroom life.  

I am a spanko to the core, born that way.  She knew nothing of adult spanking until we met.  I know she enjoys it from both sides, but spanking is not part of her core self like it is mine.  

She gets turned on when spanking me, whether discipline or play.  She finds "play" spankings very erotic, even though i spank her quite hard.  Discipline spankings on the other hand, not so much.

For me, if I've broken a house rule and I hear "That's it, your getting a spanking!", that phrase makes me rock hard.  Even though I know that I'm in for some serious pain in my backside.  Let's just say she does not spank lightly and uses some pretty nasty rubber straps, paddles, canes, whips.  It only takes about 3 swats and all the eroticism is gone for me.  It's very confusing to me because mentally, I know that this is not fun time.  We've been in this spencer relationship for about 5 years now, I probably get disciplined 1-2 times per month.  But still, even though, mentally I'm dreading what is to come, physically my body is reacting the opposite way it should.

This leads me to believe those of us who are hardwired spankos process a discipline spanking a lot differently than those who just hobbyists.  

@Borasa24 Please know, you are not alone by being turned on.  You may need to discuss this with your spanker.  Also, you might (or may not) want to show him this article from Michael Masterson.

http://www.thespankingblog.com/index.php/weblog/comments/how_to_provide_an_effective_punishment_to_someone_who_enjoys_being_spanked/

Link to post
On 2/2/2020 at 8:22 AM, ispanksu said:

I have a couple of data point which might shed some light here.  My girlfriend and I have a spencer spanking agreement.  It's a bit more complicated than this but we both serve as each other's disciplinarians.  Also, bdsm and spanking are incorporated into our bedroom life.  

I am a spanko to the core, born that way.  She knew nothing of adult spanking until we met.  I know she enjoys it from both sides, but spanking is not part of her core self like it is mine.  

She gets turned on when spanking me, whether discipline or play.  She finds "play" spankings very erotic, even though i spank her quite hard.  Discipline spankings on the other hand, not so much.

For me, if I've broken a house rule and I hear "That's it, your getting a spanking!", that phrase makes me rock hard.  Even though I know that I'm in for some serious pain in my backside.  Let's just say she does not spank lightly and uses some pretty nasty rubber straps, paddles, canes, whips.  It only takes about 3 swats and all the eroticism is gone for me.  It's very confusing to me because mentally, I know that this is not fun time.  We've been in this spencer relationship for about 5 years now, I probably get disciplined 1-2 times per month.  But still, even though, mentally I'm dreading what is to come, physically my body is reacting the opposite way it should.

This leads me to believe those of us who are hardwired spankos process a discipline spanking a lot differently than those who just hobbyists.  

@Borasa24 Please know, you are not alone by being turned on.  You may need to discuss this with your spanker.  Also, you might (or may not) want to show him this article from Michael Masterson.

http://www.thespankingblog.com/index.php/weblog/comments/how_to_provide_an_effective_punishment_to_someone_who_enjoys_being_spanked/

A fellow traveler!  I don't encounter a lot of couples that are doing a cooperative domestic discipline arrangement.  My wife and I are a 25+ year married spanko switch couple.  We adopted a coDD arrangement a little over a year ago and have been working on it ever since.    Feel free to PM me if you like to chat about it, and let me know if it's okay to PM you as well.  There don't seem to be many of us around on the web.

 

Link to post
On 2/2/2020 at 7:14 AM, Chastener said:

My experience is somewhat different from Chamed.  I find that women I spank gradually get more and more aroused during a disciplinary spanking, and the more disciplinary it is, the more they get aroused.  I don't think this should be considered unusual, at least not in M/f spankings.  To submit to discipline is acceptance of authority, of a power dynamic, and this seems to pay into women's most intimate feelings.  I'd like to think it's my skill, and that may play a part, but I know better: It's the women's need.

I can honestly say as Male spankee (female spankers only), arousal is a part of the process for me regardless of severity of punishment.  Maybe it’s the OTK feeling, or the loss of control.  I always start Hard as a rock, and often stay that way.... sometimes it disappears and other times it doesn’t.  No real rhyme or reason. 
 

cheers

  • Like 1
Link to post

As I have mentioned in other threads here, the overlap between eroticism and discipline is almost always a factor for my wife and me.  We have taken precautions to try to keep disciplinary sessions from becoming erotic, but they sometimes do anyways.  I think part of the problem has to be the cross-wiring between the pain and pleasure centers that the spanko brain develops over the years.  

For example, one of the standard pieces of advice is to always start with a warm-up spanking to reduce the chance of bruising.  This we found is actually counterproductive.  All it does is get us really turned on before the main spanking, at which time the EE is totally sexually aroused with a brain flooded with pain numbing endorphins.  At that point, the threshold of pain is vastly increased and either of us can take a hell of a whacking and almost enjoy it.  So, we don't do warm-ups.  We go straight to high-intensity paddling which produces a higher effective level of pain at the same energy level.  

 

 

  • Like 1
Link to post

Always. It's expected and dealt with. I can't help it-the humiliation is part of it. I'm wired very oddly-the harsher the punishment the more I hate/love it. Not severe pain so much as an involved punishment. I do better with them in life too.

Link to post

As a recipient, I do not get aroused during a punishment spanking. My punishment spankings, which are very few, are very serious , severe and the effects last for several days.   On the other hand, I am very aroused after I recover and relive the entire thing for days.  
 

Link to post
  • 4 weeks later...
On 2/1/2020 at 11:13 PM, Rand E said:

I have had this issue dealing with the overlap between erotic and disciplinary spanking for a while.  Some of the reactions I got from others here made me wonder if this is a rare problem, like I must be a bit off not to be able to clearly tell the difference. 

I really like to talk to other spankos about this topic erotic-versus-disciplinary and pain-versus-pleasure because it both intrigues and perplexes me in my own relationship, and I want to know if others here run into these same issues.  Because, well, I don't want to feel like an oddball.  :unsure:

Yep, same here.

Link to post

In my experience there is a difference between an autonomic nervous system response and arousal. Arousal certainly involves that an autonomic nervous system response— but not all autonomic nervous system response is sexual arousal.

Its really important to keep that in mind as both a spanker and a spankee, but especially a spanker, to not misconstrue what is going on.

For me the distinction is whether this supposed arousal leads one to want to have sexual contact. With a spanking partner or just oneself (masturbation). If it doesn’t and the thought of sexual contact creeps one out or seems out of place, then it’s probably not arousal per se. It’s an autonomic nervous system response leading to one getting erect or wet.

Some people deny this distinction. I know it exists as I have had women share that they would get wet from a medical examination while utterly being creeped out at the situation. I have had women friends express the contradiction of getting wet while being sexually assaulted and coerced. A situation that leads to conflicting feelings.

In my own case, I can get an erection in paradoxical situations at times. I can just relaxing. Spontaneously having a glass of wine or meditating.  I know in terms of spanking, I got an erection even as a little kid, before I was sexual at all. And i can still respond that way. But without any sexual drive or interest. And can come and go.

  • Like 2
Link to post
7 hours ago, SwitchWithMe said:
7 hours ago, SwitchWithMe said:

In my experience there is a difference between an autonomic nervous system response and arousal. Arousal certainly involves that an autonomic nervous system response— but not all autonomic nervous system response is sexual arousal.

Its really important to keep that in mind as both a spanker and a spankee, but especially a spanker, to not misconstrue what is going on.

For me the distinction is whether this supposed arousal leads one to want to have sexual contact. With a spanking partner or just oneself (masturbation). If it doesn’t and the thought of sexual contact creeps one out or seems out of place, then it’s probably not arousal per se. It’s an autonomic nervous system response leading to one getting erect or wet.

Some people deny this distinction. I know it exists as I have had women share that they would get wet from a medical examination while utterly being creeped out at the situation. I have had women friends express the contradiction of getting wet while being sexually assaulted and coerced. A situation that leads to conflicting feelings.

In my own case, I can get an erection in paradoxical situations at times. I can just relaxing. Spontaneously having a glass of wine or meditating.  I know in terms of spanking, I got an erection even as a little kid, before I was sexual at all. And i can still respond that way. But without any sexual drive or interest. And can come and go.

 

   I agree with the distinction in the first sentence above. 

   For example, it is not unusual for men to have erections at regular intervals overnight purely as part of their sleep cycles and unrelated to sexual thoughts.  Similarly when women become wet in an assaultative situation that is understood as a bodily response to protect against threatened injury, and is in no way an expression of erotic desire. Hence, the key line from the above post:

 Its really important to keep that in mind as both a spanker and a spankee, but especially a spanker, to not misconstrue what is going on.    -Ex.

 

  • Like 1
Link to post

I think it’s common. I’m aroused just thinking of it LOL. Once the actual discipline part kicks in that goes away. However, I can become aroused again at the end, especially if I’ve reached a cathartic state. I’ve had intense orgasms in that mental state.

Link to post

My wife gives me discipline spankings at least once a week, about 50% of the time when she tells me to pull down my pants and underwear I get an erection but no more than 10 seconds after she begins to spank me it goes completely away. 

Link to post
  • 2 weeks later...
On 2/1/2020 at 5:56 PM, Borasa24 said:

I’m wondering if it’s common to get aroused during a punishment? It seems to happen to me even when I know I am in trouble and shouldn’t be enjoying myself. I am curious if others have experienced this and if they have found any way to combat it. I don’t want my spanker to think I am enjoying a punishment. Thanks!

Consider yourself lucky! 😁  I'd keep it your little secret.... 😉

Link to post

To be honest, I can be aroused when looking at spanking related content ,videos, photos, art, and the like.  But I prefer my spankings somewhat intense, so mostly I'm just scared, and worried about what is about to happen.  And in that crazy spanko way, it's one of the emotions I enjoy the most. 

  • Like 1
Link to post

I tend to agree on this point...  I can become aroused when looking at things related to spanking online too.  However, when it comes down to the actual discipline itself, I think it would be short lived.  I suspect that most ERs are probably used to it and wouldn't think anything of it.  I haven't had my first adult EE experience yet to speak from firsthand, but I couldn't imagine that feeling would stick around for long.  

Link to post

Yes always to some degree. A lot of times no matter how much it hurts,sobbing,crying,etc. I'll be MORTIFIED by how wet I'll be. I can't help it. Won't even stop anymore just a scolding or amusement. 

 

  • Like 1
Link to post
  • 2 weeks later...

For me I try to keep spanking separate from sex but it's hard (pun intended).  I get aroused thinking about spanking.  I love to write and read stories about spanking and yes that get's me aroused.  When it comes to the actual spanking I react differently. I've only been spanked a few times sadly. When I've been spanked i get embarrassed and aroused at the same time up until the swats start.  Ouch, once the spanking starts I go soft pretty quickly.  I need it pretty severe and a mix of implements and I'm sure that is part of what causes my penis to go soft.  I have seen that when i get up I'm drippy and have left a puddle but not full ejaculation.  That's so embarrassing!  Then once in the corner I'm both humiliated and aroused but it's oddly a wonderful feeling.  

Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...