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Profile Photos - Proposed Rule


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I’m sure many wouldn’t like this rule, but I wonder why we don’t ask people not to show nakedness in their profile photos.  Seriously, not long ago, I went to the website and saw that of 4 of the main forums, the same person had posted in each one.  How did I know?  The little photo of the person’s red rear appeared at each of the forum buttons, meaning they were the most recent poster.

To me (and I think to most), spanking relationships, regardless of if they are considered sexual in any way, are intimate highly personal relationships.  And quality (rather than flippant) friendships can develop between participants.  Would I expect to go onto a high quality dating site and see people in forms of undress?  No, rather this aspect of someone may be saved for later if we meet enough times.  Or since this is an advice site, would I expect a reputable relationship advice site to have profiles showing people in forms of undress?

Maybe there should be a segregated section of the site where this kind of stuff is shown, rather than anywhere.

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I completely agree that using such profile photos should not be allowed.  It's one thing to go to the photo gallery and see what people have posted there, knowing ahead of time what you might see, and totally another thing to allow profile photos showing bare bottoms. 

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I think anyone coming to this site should recognize such pictures are a possibility.  For some of us who choose to never post pictures - or even for those who do - it gives us some insight in to the preferences of the poster.  We are all adults here.  If you do not like seeing such pictures, ignore the pictures and limit the interaction with the poster if it makes you more comfortable.  I'm a non-picture person who has no interest in ever posting pics here, but why ruin it for those who enjoy it? 

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49 minutes ago, DeepThinker said:

I think anyone coming to this site should recognize such pictures are a possibility.

If you do not like seeing such pictures, ignore the pictures and limit the interaction with the poster if it makes you more comfortable.

Couple issues with this.

Why should anyone think these photos are a possibility?  Is this a hookup site?  Hookup sites are where you expect to not be able to avoid seeing photos of undress.

There's no way to ignore the photos when they show at the threads; not just at the profile page.

Gaining any possibly available limited insight into the preferences of the poster by observing the particulars of the rear end they parade around isn’t something all forum users should be expected to value.

 

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Go to FetLife and there's no way you can avoid seeing a lot of naked people - and not just rear-ends.  But unlike FetLife, the emphasis here is not on a salacious or prurient interest in spanking.  I'm here for the dialogue, not the imagery.  I kind of agree that this site could do without people using their naked pics as avatars.  However, I'm not real keen on having it be a rule enforced by the system administrator either.  It would just be nice if everybody could voluntarily observe some tasteful guidelines.

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The thing is we aren't a dating site or a hookup site. We are simply a site that talks about consented adult spankings. We do not allow sex or focused images of genitals anyplace on the site. We are a reputable spanking community, that doesn't allow porn. Relationships that develop are of off site nature. We are first and foremost a communication and safe haven for spankos that are understanding their needs. It might be important for you that the person you get close with "saves themselves" for you later on (and you can add that to your profile) but please don't body shame people that have the confidents in this community that post vulnerable spanking photographs of themselves and act as if it should be a crime. If the person wants to "save themselves" (whatever that outdated term means); they will. 

Now adding in a feature of some sort that you can block certain types of avatars might be doable. 

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I agree with Child of Light. But I would love a setting like was mentioned because sometimes I like to check the forum, or chat or just play the er vs ee game during work and having a bright red bottom show up is not really work appropriate lol. Itd be awesome if there could be a setting that makes everything here more safe to view at work.

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Chiloflight: I agree with you it’s not a dating site.  That’s why I made comparisons to both dating and relationship advice sites to indicate that such photos aren’t normally wanted on these.  And this site does discuss matters in relationships that are highly personal and intimate.  

Question: I don’t understand how in one sentence we say this isn’t a dating site; then follow with a sentence with apparent disdain for those who save themselves.  By the second sentence, aren’t we asserting some are posting these photos for sexual purposes?

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4 hours ago, Child of Light said:

Now adding in a feature of some sort that you can block certain types of avatars might be doable. 

 

4 hours ago, HannahKae said:

I agree with Child of Light. But I would love a setting like was mentioned because sometimes I like to check the forum, or chat or just play the er vs ee game during work and having a bright red bottom show up is not really work appropriate lol. Itd be awesome if there could be a setting that makes everything here more safe to view at work.

This was my thought too. I don't like the profile pics for that reason, but I wouldn't move to get rid of them even though it's not my thing. They are usually small though and I can scroll by quickly when I'm checking SN on a public place or work. 

I would love for the news feed to default to no pics with maybe a toggle at the top to show pics if desired. I did make an activity stream that doesn't show pics but it's a pain to get to it. Also, I forget I'm on it and click the news feed button at the top and get bombarded. 

My other suggestion is to let us define the settings we want to use for the news feed and then, when we click the button, it is shown with our default preferences. (for me, including the status updates and blocking pics). 

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8 hours ago, Child of Light said:

The thing is we aren't a dating site or a hookup site. We are simply a site that talks about consented adult spankings. We do not allow sex or focused images of genitals anyplace on the site. We are a reputable spanking community, that doesn't allow porn. Relationships that develop are of off site nature. We are first and foremost a communication and safe haven for spankos that are understanding their needs. It might be important for you that the person you get close with "saves themselves" for you later on (and you can add that to your profile) but please don't body shame people that have the confidents in this community that post vulnerable spanking photographs of themselves and act as if it should be a crime. If the person wants to "save themselves" (whatever that outdated term means); they will. 

Now adding in a feature of some sort that you can block certain types of avatars might be doable. 

My comment was only concerning the profile/avatar pictures that appear on the main pages.  I actually like the gallery section a lot, and I applaud the folks here that have the confidence to post images there.  Any member of this forum that would shame people for posting images in the galleries - you should be ashamed of yourself.  

I think this is more of a classification question, as with other posted materials, concerning where it should go on the site (galleries), and where it would probably be best not to put it (profile pictures/avatars).  But I don't like the idea of it being a formal rule.  It's not that big of a deal for me really, but perhaps more of a type of preferred forum etiquette that others here appreciate when followed voluntarily. 

 

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I think something to hide avatars for those who wish would be a good idea, but I don't feel that people should be told they can't post a spanking picture on a spanking site, no matter if it's their avatar or the gallery.  A bare bottom tends to be a spanking picture.

Spanking is highly personal, but that means it should be each individual's personal choice. I am in a long term relationship so I wouldn't post a pic of my bottom unless my boyfriend told me to. I feel that decision is more his than mine. Not everyone wants their other half sharing photos in a public forum.

I tend to be brutally honest so my biggest problem with pics are genitals. Seeing a man post a pic of his bottom with his ball sac on full display turns my stomach. It's the same with a woman who has her legs spread. Those areas should be kept private and thankfully aren't allowed here. A picture of a naked bottom or even a nude photo of the back of someone doesn't bother me. I don't get anything out of it and pay no attention to them, but We are all adults, all into spanking and have all seen them one way or another.

Personally, if someone has a problem with the posting of bottoms as avatars, then this site may not be for you. This is more than an advice site. It's a place to talk, share experiences, grow as a spanker or spankee, communicate with like minded people and for the some, to find the spanking they need in their life. What develops from the spanking...meaning a relationship, a mentorship, etc is an off-site deal.

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I agree this is more of an advice site.  So for that reason, I think some photos in certain places aren’t conducive to advice.  Just like some should be free to post photos; some, I think, should be free to browse certain areas of the site without seeing certain photos.

We have a special section for posting erotic material.  Maybe there.  Maybe if someone wants to display these types of photos of themselves to the public, it should be for those who click on their profile to learn more about them specifically.  

I made comparisons to dating sites, and relationship advice sites.  Yes, I know this isn’t a dating site.  But I’m saying it’s a site discussing intimate (even if non-sexual) relationships, and for advice.  Would I expect to go onto a relationship advice site and see someone in some form of undress, trying to suggest to me that I should trust them, because “look at what they are showing to the world.  They have gotten a chance to use this body as shown here with numerous people or with one person in a fulfilling way, so listen up.”  Or would it be necessary on such a site, for someone to show their undress so I can get a perspective as to their “interests?”

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21 hours ago, tryingit said:

Geez I think having a habit of viewing this site at work is rather dangerous for a number of reasons, regardless of any filters.

Why do you think that?

I personally use this site in the same way I use something like facebook, it's a way to just chat and be friendly with people and pass some time. Hence why a work filter would be nice so butts arent popping up while I'm just trying to chat and catch up with some people.

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22 hours ago, tryingit said:

 

I made comparisons to dating sites, and relationship advice sites.  Yes, I know this isn’t a dating site.  But I’m saying it’s a site discussing intimate (even if non-sexual) relationships, and for advice.  Would I expect to go onto a relationship advice site and see someone in some form of undress, trying to suggest to me that I should trust them, because “look at what they are showing to the world.  They have gotten a chance to use this body as shown here with numerous people or with one person in a fulfilling way, so listen up.”  Or would it be necessary on such a site, for someone to show their undress so I can get a perspective as to their “interests?”

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Question: I don’t understand how in one sentence we say this isn’t a dating site; then follow with a sentence with apparent disdain for those who save themselves.  By the second sentence, aren’t we asserting some are posting these photos for sexual purposes?

To answer your question, no that is not what I am saying. I am quoting your "saving themselves" statement. 

There are a lot of body positive sites out there that aren’t sexual that allow nudity and is looked at as art. No one is forced to show anything they don’t want to show. Nudity doesn’t always mean sexual. 

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14 hours ago, Child of Light said:

To answer your question, no that is not what I am saying. I am quoting your "saving themselves" statement. 

I never said anything related to “saving yourself,” with that term meaning to abstain from sexual activity till marriage.  This is exactly why the response generated my question.  BTW: I don’t know why someone would have disdain such a thing if someone can do it, branding it as some “old fashioned” term with ambiguous meaning.

Even on sites where people aren’t looking to “save themselves” showing private’s to the world is seen as cheap and flippant.  And on sites that have advice/discussion of intimate matters (even when non-sexual, like s lot of this one is) it is additionally seen as inappropriate, as it distracts from the mission of giving or receiving advice.

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2 hours ago, tryingit said:

I never said anything related to “saving yourself,” with that term meaning to abstain from sexual activity till marriage.  This is exactly why the response generated my question.  BTW: I don’t know why someone would have disdain such a thing if someone can do it, branding it as some “old fashioned” term with ambiguous meaning.

Even on sites where people aren’t looking to “save themselves” showing private’s to the world is seen as cheap and flippant.  And on sites that have advice/discussion of intimate matters (even when non-sexual, like s lot of this one is) it is additionally seen as inappropriate, as it distracts from the mission of giving or receiving advice.

I respect peoples choices, and their body, to do what they want with it or don't want to (whatever that might be). :)  I was quoting here: 

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"Would I expect to go onto a high quality dating site and see people in forms of undress?  No, rather this aspect of someone may be saved for later if we meet enough times."

I was reminding you we aren't a dating site.  The mission of SN is to have a safe discussion platform for all consenting adult spanko's. It's an online platform for people not to judge each other. It's perfectly ok for members to want to share after they've been spanked. Calling people inappropriate, cheap and flippant is not productive and not supportive. My avatar is a print screen of an old movie, of an DD couple, with a women receiving a spanking --- how does my avatar distract from advice giving or receiving? 

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6 hours ago, Child of Light said:

I was reminding you we aren't a dating site.  The mission of SN is to have a safe discussion platform for all consenting adult spanko's. It's an online platform for people not to judge each other. It's perfectly ok for members to want to share after they've been spanked. Calling people inappropriate, cheap and flippant is not productive and not supportive. My avatar is a print screen of an old movie, of an DD couple, with a women receiving a spanking --- how does my avatar distract from advice giving or receiving? 

Never did I think or say this is a dating site.  However, comparisons to other things are frequently made to help make a point.  That’s what I did.  I made comparisons to 2 separate I other types of sites that differ, but have common denominators as well.

I never called anyone inappropriate, flippant, or cheap.  I hope the same lack of judgement (someone feels judged?) is reserved for me for posting this.

was proposing something I thought may be considered as respectful towards other forum members.  It turns out a number of replies were from people who think similarly; but presented possibly different ideas for implementation.

Why is one avatar perceived differently than another?  I don’t know.  It just is.  Why is total nakedness and privates different than a picture of a concrete floor when they are all just digital 1 and 0’s?  Who knows, really.

 

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It's one thing to argue for the means not to have avatars and the like displayed if you prefer but quite another to suggest a bottom cannot (or should not) be displayed on a site that is about spanking rather or not it's sexual or for some of us more disciplinary in nature because that is usually the seat that receives what we're about.

Yes such an avatar might not be what you may wish others to use in say a work place or public transport but in such settings there is a good chance the text itself may be overseen which may make for awkward conversations and blushes. I wouldn't for instance open a Anime magazine that might have ads or features of content 15 or over on a crowded bus not because I think there's anything wrong with it or because of issues with bodies but more out of consideration for people who haven't chosen to view what I may like or feel comfortable with.

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16 hours ago, JoKitten said:

Yes such an avatar might not be what you may wish others to use in say a work place or public transport but in such settings there is a good chance the text itself may be overseen which may make for awkward conversations and blushes.

I understand that but a picture may be seen from further away. Tiny text is not so likely to be viewed clearly enough to be read. Also, reading the text requires commitment to reading it whereas just seeing a large pic is possible whether or not someone is trying to see it. 

Beyond that, it would be nice to have a setting to hide the posts just because sometimes I'm not in the mood for all of that. 

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I am not sure how the OP navigates anywhere on the Internet or Life in general if this innocuous little conservative spanking site offends his sensibilities so much.   I am sitting here completely beside myself, dumbfounded, with my mouth hanging open, agog and aghast.  Maybe this site is just not for you, OP.   If there is a website out there about spanking that is tamer than Spanking Needs, I will eat my shorts. I don't think it's likely.   Maybe going back to the text based Usenet chat format like in the early pre-2000 internet era is what you're looking for OP.  

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19 minutes ago, AfterGeometry said:

I am not sure how the OP navigates anywhere on the Internet or Life in general if this innocuous little conservative spanking site offends his sensibilities so much.   I am sitting here completely beside myself, dumbfounded, with my mouth hanging open, agog and aghast.  Maybe this site is just not for you, OP.   If there is a website out there about spanking that is tamer than Spanking Needs, I will eat my shorts. I don't think it's likely.   Maybe going back to the text based Usenet chat format like in the early pre-2000 internet era is what you're looking for OP.  

Hey aftergeometry, what happened to the nonjudgmental-ness?  It was only a suggestion. Geez.  I’m dumbfounded you could be so upset I aired my mind.

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1 hour ago, tryingit said:

Hey aftergeometry, what happened to the nonjudgmental-ness?  It was only a suggestion. Geez.  I’m dumbfounded you could be so upset I aired my mind.

Ohhhh I was not in the least bit upset.  That's not the correct word.  I was more along the lines of "astonished/flabbergasted/thrown for a loop" but I'm even over that now.   It's just an interesting perspective, that's all. 

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This is a minor issue for me.  I never open up this site on my laptop unless it is in an entirely private setting, so I don't have any worries about somebody shoulder surfing me and seeing anything dicey.  I don't think this would be a good use of scarce resources to try to implement a change to the forum or even to the forum rules.  I can accept that we each decide based on our own sense of etiquette and leave it at that.

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4 hours ago, Rand E said:

 shoulder surfing

Wow, you unearthed a doozy there!  I don't think I've heard that term, said out loud or in print,  in 25 years.    Rand E you're quite the Relic Generator of Golden Oldies!

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