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Why We Do What We Do: Disciplinary Spankings


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I think it is possible to summarize why male spankers of females practice discipline.  Of course, there is sensual arousal, and no male spanker can deny that, especially when a woman's bare behind is presented to him.  But there is something more, and I would be indebted to my colleagues to help flesh this out --no, there is no pun intended.  When a serious woman comes to a male spanker for discipline, there are usually two reasons, and they are intertwined.  One is to atone for some bad act, and the other is to prevent further offense by a change in conduct.  The sting and humiliation do provide a woman with a chance to feel she has been through a process which recognizes her wrong and punishes it in a definitive and limited way.  My belief is that the humiliation is the primary factor in preventing similar misconduct.  Specifically, the submission to a self-described authority figure is the woman's concession that he does have the right to correct her.  This is particularly potent when the authority to correct is, by agreement, to be used at his discretion.  Any spanker has to recognize the import of this: That he is responsible in part for the well-being of another individual and that he has to use that power strictly but advisedly.  I welcome comments, critical and otherwise.

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Well it sounds like  you are trying to explain to us ('ER-splain?') why a woman seeks out discipline instead of answering the question you put forth in the title of your post, which is ostensibly something you might know something about.   It's probably best for you to let the spankee's try to convey in their own words why they seek us out.   At any rate it's a mystery,  wrapped up in an enigma at the bottom of an abyss, something men have been trying to solve about female psychology since time immemorial.   Going back thru our archives here, you will see the ruins of shipwrecked threads where other 'ER-splainers' (including myself) vaingloriusly proceeded to spout our drivel in an attempt to show those EEs we had them all figured out, after all.  But, alas...maybe not so much.  And thank you for participating, as the cycle continues evermore...😉👍

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I try to refrain from making broad-brush assumptions about people because everyone is different. I do not get "sensual arousal" when doing discipline.  Of course, I appreciate the female form, but arousal never comes into play.  However, I certainly do feel arousal when spanking a romantic partner, and to some degree when spanking someone just for fun.  I actually don't enjoy doing discipline - I do it because I was asked to do it by someone who found my Fetlife profile and requested that I help her. We discussed it at length before I agreed to do it. She has trouble managing herself - she was a professional athlete and always had coaches, personal trainers, etc. to help her stay focused and motivated. She no longer has that and she recognizes that she responds well to physical discipline - because it hurts. Spanking is something we both try to avoid but, when necessary, it helps get her back on track. She confided to me that she once told one of her personal trainers (another female) that she could hit her if she wasn't doing what she was supposed to do.

There are people who enjoy humiliation and others who do not. The part of your post that I do agree with universally is the responsibility the spanker has for the well-being of the EE, regardless of the reason for the spanking.

 

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1 hour ago, Chastener said:

I think it is possible to summarize why male spankers of females practice discipline.  Of course, there is sensual arousal, and no male spanker can deny that, especially when a woman's bare behind is presented to him.  But there is something more, and I would be indebted to my colleagues to help flesh this out --no, there is no pun intended.  When a serious woman comes to a male spanker for discipline, there are usually two reasons, and they are intertwined.  One is to atone for some bad act, and the other is to prevent further offense by a change in conduct.  

If you are speculating why males discipline females, you make the inference that this reason differs from why makes discipline males, females discipline makes, and females discipline females. 

You also make a differentiation between the initial question, "why male spankers of females practice discipline" and why "a serious woman comes to a male spanker for discipline". 

Do you want to know why ees come to ERs for discipline or specifically why males discipline females and why females seek discipline from males?

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17 hours ago, gingerlee said:

If you are speculating why males discipline females, you make the inference that this reason differs from why makes discipline males, females discipline makes, and females discipline females. 

You also make a differentiation between the initial question, "why male spankers of females practice discipline" and why "a serious woman comes to a male spanker for discipline". 

Do you want to know why ees come to ERs for discipline or specifically why males discipline females and why females seek discipline from males?

gingerlee, I was limiting it to males spanking females because that's really the only regimen I know.  It seems entirely possible that female-male, male-male, female-female may have other characteristics which I would not be qualified to speak to.  That's all.

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"why we do what we do" is not easy to respond to! We all see things thru different eyes.  I maintain that we can never put everyone in a "box" and treat them all the same way. The challenge ER's have is to get to  know what works well for each ee and seek to be as effective in meeting their needs as we can

Davyd 

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Discipline vs play for me, are very different. The play/erotic spanking is not too hard & certainly makes sex better. Discipline is something my bf & I discussed b4hand & when I’ve misbehaved the spanking I get is harder, makes me cry, especially when bf is telling me, calmly, how I have misbehaved. I usually already kno what I’ve done but having him explain, ask why etc. makes this type of spanking much more intimate. I trust his judgement completely 

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