People who switch

[swimmer8976]

52 minutes ago, Zhal said:

There are some people who have some harsh ideas about switching. You know what? How the quiznak does their opinion affect me? Let them have their opinions. When it comes down to it, having a "switches are a stain on my profession" attitude just means I will never seek a spanking session with you.

Well said!  Completely agree.  I love switching, whether with the same person or someone else and I don't really care whether someone has a problem with that.  In my opinion, as long as everything is 100% consensual, there is no right or wrong when it comes to a spanking relationship.  Let people do what works for them!

[Rand E]

On 12/21/2019 at 12:39 PM, aust0226ap said:

I do enjoy* both. But ive never switched with the same person. 

Sounds like you have engaged with doms and with subs, but I would think if you engaged with another true switch, things wouldn't be complete unless you did the deed on one another at least once.  Switch is not something I do, it's something that I am, as much a part of me as being a spanko.

[Woodworker81]

On 5/19/2020 at 9:13 AM, Zhal said:

There are some people who have some harsh ideas about switching. You know what? How the quiznak does their opinion affect me? Let them have their opinions. When it comes down to it, having a "switches are a stain on my profession" attitude just means I will never seek a spanking session with you.

Have to agree with this, though a decade ago I'd have been offended or angry. Plenty of fish in the sea. I will say, an earlier poster mentioned that so many men have difficulty finding a spanker that they may (as a sub) portray themselves as a switch in order to sort of swindle a spanking from a woman. That's sad. It sours things for everyone involved. Nobody wins in that sort of situation. Best to be honest from the get go. 

[Woodworker81]

On 5/19/2020 at 9:13 AM, Zhal said:

There are some people who have some harsh ideas about switching. You know what? How the quiznak does their opinion affect me? Let them have their opinions. When it comes down to it, having a "switches are a stain on my profession" attitude just means I will never seek a spanking session with you.

Have to agree with this, though a decade ago I'd have been offended or angry. Plenty of fish in the sea. I will say, an earlier poster mentioned that so many men have difficulty finding a spanker that they may (as a sub) portray themselves as a switch in order to sort of swindle a spanking from a woman. That's sad. It sours things for everyone involved. Nobody wins in that sort of situation. Best to be honest from the get go. 

[JonTx]

We could cuss and discuss this forever.

A bit of a side bar is the fact that we worry too much about whether someone else thinks what we want to do is appropriate. I know that I’ve loved giving spankings and loved taking them since I was a child. That should be enough, but given the fact that we are all forced into somewhat compartmentalized and secretive parts of our lives with spanking, it’s easy to self doubt, even our spanking  preferences!
 

 

[swimmer8976]

On 5/20/2020 at 12:40 AM, Rand E said:

Sounds like you have engaged with doms and with subs, but I would think if you engaged with another true switch, things wouldn't be complete unless you did the deed on one another at least once.  Switch is not something I do, it's something that I am, as much a part of me as being a spanko.

Not sure I agree 100% with this.  I think things can be plenty complete when you are on one side in a particular relationship.  There are certain people who I am more naturally submissive too, and others who I would rather spank.  It doesn't always have to go both ways.  A lot of which side I prefer has to do with age and personality for me.  Does that make me not a true switch?

[JonTx]

1 hour ago, swimmer8976 said:

Not sure I agree 100% with this.  I think things can be plenty complete when you are on one side in a particular relationship.  There are certain people who I am more naturally submissive too, and others who I would rather spank.  It doesn't always have to go both ways.  A lot of which side I prefer has to do with age and personality for me.  Does that make me not a true switch?

At the risk of repeating myself, what is an “true switch?”  Did someone tell you you weren’t a real switch? Then I would ask why their opinion matters.  It sounds to me like you enjoy both spanking and being spanked. And, it sounds like you have a great deal of adaptability: you like to spank people with one sort of personality and be spanked by others. That sounds healthy to me.

[Rand E]

3 hours ago, swimmer8976 said:

Not sure I agree 100% with this.  I think things can be plenty complete when you are on one side in a particular relationship.  There are certain people who I am more naturally submissive too, and others who I would rather spank.  It doesn't always have to go both ways.  A lot of which side I prefer has to do with age and personality for me.  Does that make me not a true switch?

I understand the notion of adapting to a dom or a sub.  That's a flexibility that you have as a switch.  I would think that orientation definitely increases the number of potential partners, especially if your dom/sub traits are fairly evenly balanced and you can call them forth as needed depending on your role in the arrangement.  I agree with you, there's nothing incomplete about having straight dom and sub partners. 

As far as the term "true" switch, I'm just using the term to refer to those of us who have fairly evenly balanced dom and sub traits.  That is, your not a sub who happen to top on the rare occasion or vice-versa.  Just curious, what do you consider your dom/sub ratio to be?    

So, assuming you are a true switch in the sense I described above, and you hooked up with another true switch, then I would find it odd that you would settle on a straight set of dom/sub roles and not want to explore switching up the roles.  On the other hand, if having a switch partner is not your cup of tea, I get it.  

[Rand E]

1 hour ago, JonTx said:

At the risk of repeating myself, what is an “true switch?”  Did someone tell you you weren’t a real switch? Then I would ask why their opinion matters.  It sounds to me like you enjoy both spanking and being spanked. And, it sounds like you have a great deal of adaptability: you like to spank people with one sort of personality and be spanked by others. That sounds healthy to me.

Probably a better choice of terminology would have been "balanced" switch or something along those lines.  In order for the term to be applicable, I think the dom and sub traits need to be fairly evenly balanced, not necessarily 50/50, but 60/40 or even 70/30 maybe.  I expect there are plenty of straight doms who have been spanked out of curiosity or some rare impulse, but it's not really in their nature, or the vice-versa case of a sub that has given the rare spanking but is not much into it.

Speaking of terminology, I was thinking we should coin the phrase "ultimate" switch.  That would be a switch who can convincingly be the dom to a straight sub, or the sub to a straight dom, without them being any the wiser.  A veritable spanking chameleon adapting to any environment.  Any of you switches out there that can manage that, my hat is off to you.

 

 

[swimmer8976]

13 hours ago, Rand E said:

I understand the notion of adapting to a dom or a sub.  That's a flexibility that you have as a switch.  I would think that orientation definitely increases the number of potential partners, especially if your dom/sub traits are fairly evenly balanced and you can call them forth as needed depending on your role in the arrangement.  I agree with you, there's nothing incomplete about having straight dom and sub partners. 

As far as the term "true" switch, I'm just using the term to refer to those of us who have fairly evenly balanced dom and sub traits.  That is, your not a sub who happen to top on the rare occasion or vice-versa.  Just curious, what do you consider your dom/sub ratio to be?    

So, assuming you are a true switch in the sense I described above, and you hooked up with another true switch, then I would find it odd that you would settle on a straight set of dom/sub roles and not want to explore switching up the roles.  On the other hand, if having a switch partner is not your cup of tea, I get it.  

I was much more of a spankee when I was younger but its evened out as I've gotten older and developed much more of a desire to spank.  I'd say I'm probably about 60/40 on the sub side.  And yes, if I found the right person I would absolutely want to switch roles with them.  It just hasn't happened in my (admittedly limited) experience.

[Becka]

I don't know who the person is who believes that nonsense. I have been a blend of both my entire life. I was spanking my baby dolls when I was 5 yet craving to be spanked in later childhood. Now I am primarily a spanker but do enjoy receiving sometimes.  I think is natural and normal for a person to have tendencies towards both and we shouldn't judge each other about it. 

 

[NotsorryyetNJ]

On 12/21/2019 at 2:02 PM, Rand E said:

I sure do.  My wife does too.

BTW: Join the Switches Group too, if you haven't already.  You're not alone.

There’s a switches group?

[Bobbyt42]

Look under clubs

[Keith Lemontree]

I'm about 95% spanker, 5% spankee. 

But I strongly believe in keeping these roles separate (i.e., with any given person I'm ALWAYS the spanker or the spankee).  For me, it is very challenging to switch roles.

[SearcherForWisdom]

On 12/21/2019 at 8:43 PM, SwitchWithMe said:

. I even had one woman here say that any straight male claiming to be a switch is just a closeted homosexual.

Are you serious?

Are some people really that level delusional to think this way?

 

 

[SearcherForWisdom]

Dismiss the above i forgot that i have post here before.

 

[Spankenstein]

Though practically all my experience has been being a spanker, I have had a spanking or two or three, which were interesting but never with a person who was involved to the extent I was as a true spanko. I think they all did their best but since meeting up with a few true believers, I suspect a spanking from someone who is part of the tribe might be a different experience. I still think I will want to be the spanker, but perhaps get a better appreciation for what the spankee experiences. Thoughts?

[Bruisedredbotto]

My husband does not like being spanked but loves turning my butt red. 

[St.George]

On 12/22/2019 at 4:50 AM, wanttospank said:

It is sad that so man people here involved in the same "kink" if you want to call it that,  judge  others into the same thing, although in different ways. I for one enjoy doing the naughty little boy, or naughty little girl role play, along with other play. I have no interest in spanking kids at all.  And as far as being a switch, I say if it works for you, then just go for it, who cares what others think about anything we enjoy doing. as long as between two consenting adults, it is no ones business. Just for the record, I am mostly a spanker, but occasionally I do accept a little spanking, so not sure what label people would put on me.... and honestly, I do not care.

Yeah, no sense getting hung up on labels. There has been a similar debate raging in the gay community, although it was more a big deal twenty years ago...namely whether bi's exist at all, or whether they are gays in denial. I am of the opinion people are whatever they say they are until proven otherwise. Who's business is it anyway?

I consider myself a switch for the fact that I have played both roles in RL. What happens is with some people, the dynamic is ER, with another, it becomes EE. Depends on the situation. Just like in prison, a lot of straight guys indulge a bit on the other side, due to opportunism. It is just more fun and healthy to get what is available, rather than starve. I have fantasies I visit that draw on either ER and EE points of view, depends which section of the library I am browsing.

 

[Spankmered57]

I also like to switch. I love to have someone spank me very hard with a paddle wooden spoon or hairbrust until my naked bottom  is cherry red and is on fire. I then would spank them until their naked bottom bus cherry red and on fire.

I would spank them as long and as hard as they wanted !!!

 

This is how I like to be spanked and this is how red I like my butt afterwards. But I usually want it more red and on fire!!

[Keith Lemontree]

I'm technically a switch... I am the spanker about 95% of the time. But, on occasion, there's a strong desire to be taken over the knee and spanked and spanked and spanked until my bottom is good and red, on fire, and very, very sore.

For me, however, switching with the same partner is just too complex. Either I'm going to spank you (far more likely) or you are going to spank me. We're not mixing it up. Seems strange to many, I know, but spanking changes everything.

[Spankmered57]

I have only been involved with self Spanking but I think switching could benefit the volunerability of both people. But I think there needs to be trust on both the spankees and spanker.  It could also could show how each person can tolerate the pain and how far they are willing to go and how red and blistered they want their but to get from the spanking. Myself I like to go as far as cherry red real red where it burns to sit down!!!!????

[IndySpanko]

I am a longtime switch. I have had periods in my life where I was only a spankee, periods when I was only a spanker, and periods when I did both. It has to do with my psyche at the time and with my partners. I have had girlfriends I spanked who never knew that I sometimes liked to be spanked.

I have not had a relationship where I switched with the same person; I think that would be difficult to bring off. But I do think it's possible; maybe some couples have followed the Spencer Spanking Plan where wife and husband spank each other ...

The attraction for me is the "voluntary relinquishment of control" for punishment. Whether I am giving up control or the control is being given to me, I find it highly exciting.

tony

[NeedDiscipline1]

Is it possible that everyone is a switch depending on the situation? 
I thought I was a pure ee and then I had the chance to spank someone and realized the context plays a huge role. 

[konadogger]

I am a switch. I Love to give AND receive otk bare bottom spankings