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Hi all, so I've been around for a bit and I just wanted to see what you all thought about for advice. 


I have a male friend that spanks me every now and then, with us living in different states and all this doesnt happen too often. but when he does come in he offers to spank me and I quite often accept. wanting the spank from someone else rather than myself.

That being said, he is a Gay male and I am a straight male, so he always tries sexual things, and sometimes I reward him by jerking infront of him or whatever.

My question for advice is he always seems to be asking for more and more each time we get together to spank.  I've grown uncomfortable with the extras and would rather stick to spanking but he always tries to push forward. any advice on how to make this back to strictly spanking? Do I have to cut him off even though hes the only one that I know who will do it around me?

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You do not have to do anything.  His being gay has very little to do with this.  The question is whether your spanking partner is going beyond your consent when it comes to sexual acts.  If the answer is yes, then why would you continue?  

You said you have grown uncomfortable with the extras, so I think you answered your own question.  Your other option is of course to discuss the situation with him - have you not tried that?  Perhaps he does not even know you are uncomfortable with his behavior.  

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I think if you want to continue allowing him to spank you then some honest discussion and setting of limits is in order. 

You can approach him politely at a time when he is not spanking you and say that your friendship means a lot to you, and while you enjoy letting him spank you, and were OK with how it started out at first, that you would like to avoid any sexual activity beyond what you are comfortable with.  Then spell out those limits clearly and ask if he can respect those in the future.  If he admits that he might not be able to, then you shouldn't continue with the spankings. 

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RichBoy: never do more than you are comfortable with. It sounds like this "friend" is taking advantage. Either talk to him and tell him no- if he doesn' t accept that walk away. A real friend would never expect you to do more than you are comfortable with. Getting a spanking, on some- one else' s terms, that you aren' t comfortable with just isn' t worth it. Find some-one who will give you what you want/ need and doesn' t expect extras if you aren' t comfortable with them.

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  • 2 months later...

Set healthy boundaries with others and don't allow those boundaries to be crossed. A spankee's boundaries with a spanker are especially important. I would have a talk with him and share what you appreciate and what isn't working for you. Be thoughtful, but direct. If he values these sessions with you, he is expected to modify his behavior. Spanking has a sexual undertone for many of us, but trust me, a spanker CAN and NEEDS TO control themselves and behave respectfully. He can release any arousal he has afterwards, on his own. 

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