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A few women in the past months have approached me about spanking them while their husbands watch.  I have always confined myself to one-on-one spankings.  Does anyone have any experience in these "witnessed" spankings, and does he or she have any advice?

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10 minutes ago, Chastener said:

A few women in the past months have approached me about spanking them while their husbands watch.  I have always confined myself to one-on-one spankings.  Does anyone have any experience in these "witnessed" spankings, and does he or she have any advice?

Over the years, I have had some husbands or significant others send their wife or girl friend to me for a spanking.  During some of those spankings, the partner was invited to watch and sometimes even participate partially in directing the activity as far as duration and intensity. It actually worked out really well for everyone involved.  Everyone behaved appropriately and I wasn't uncomfortable about having a witness present since we all agreed on it.

In one ongoing situation,  at the start of a session the wife would confess what she had done and ask me to spank her. Then the husband would strip her naked in front of me and restrain her to the bed before I spanked her. She was submissive to his wishes, and politely told me what intensity she wanted to be spanked at that day. I verified with both that was what they actually wanted to happen, then proceeded. They were both very pleased and continued to come to me for a couple of years on a twice monthly basis. 

But you should only do what you are comfortable with.  I'd recommend a thorough discussion before deciding to try it. Make sure they are both clear on their reasons why they want it done in that manner.  Generally I think that if the woman approached you for that it was because she wanted to be spanked while her husband watched, or else he asked her to make that request because he wanted her to be spanked by another male while he watched. Some people are exhibitionists, others into humiliation.

It would set a huge red flag if she protested being spanked or said anything to lead me to believe she was participating only to please him and would not have made that choice on her own. I would be very uncomfortable doing such spankings for a couple who saw them strictly as erotic and were requesting her to be spanked so the husband could become sexually excited by watching.  But for someone else, that might be within their comfort zone and as long as everyone is on the same page and everything about her spanking is consensual, then all is good. 

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1 hour ago, Longtimespanking said:

Over the years, I have had some husbands or significant others send their wife or girl friend to me for a spanking.  During some of those spankings, the partner was invited to watch and sometimes even participate partially in directing the activity as far as duration and intensity. It actually worked out really well for everyone involved.  Everyone behaved appropriately and I wasn't uncomfortable about having a witness present since we all agreed on it.

In one ongoing situation,  at the start of a session the wife would confess what she had done and ask me to spank her. Then the husband would strip her naked in front of me and restrain her to the bed before I spanked her. She was submissive to his wishes, and politely told me what intensity she wanted to be spanked at that day. I verified with both that was what they actually wanted to happen, then proceeded. They were both very pleased and continued to come to me for a couple of years on a twice monthly basis. 

But you should only do what you are comfortable with.  I'd recommend a thorough discussion before deciding to try it. Make sure they are both clear on their reasons why they want it done in that manner.  Generally I think that if the woman approached you for that it was because she wanted to be spanked while her husband watched, or else he asked her to make that request because he wanted her to be spanked by another male while he watched. Some people are exhibitionists, others into humiliation.

It would set a huge red flag if she protested being spanked or said anything to lead me to believe she was participating only to please him and would not have made that choice on her own. I would be very uncomfortable doing such spankings for a couple who saw them strictly as erotic and were requesting her to be spanked so the husband could become sexually excited by watching.  But for someone else, that might be within their comfort zone and as long as everyone is on the same page and everything about her spanking is consensual, then all is good. 

I guess my discomfort with the witnessed spanking comes from a feeling that the husband would like to do it himself, but for some reason cannot.  In the few instances (for me) that it has been requested, I had no illusion that the husband would be turned on by the process, and I didn't have the benefit of the process of husband-wife consent that you described.  I guess my basic feeling is that humiliation is goal, but I am not sure whether the husband or wife feels that humiliation more intensely.  And thanks for the advice; it's given me something to think about.

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I'll preface this response by saying that I've never been asked to do anything like this.

That said, ultimately you have to do what you're comfortable with. Your boundaries are important as a spanker as well. If you're not comfortable with it as a result of the perceived nature of the event, in this case being the undercurrent of sexual humiliation, by all means you should decline.

I've said this elsewhere, but we're not all things for all people, and that's ok!

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There was one woman I use to spank in the presence of her husband.  Not because he wanted to watch, but because he was vanilla and did not want to spank her.  I met them at spanking parties we had in our local area.  He would go with her sometimes but he did not participate.  She wanted a discipline relationship and that is something we did not do at parties.  She did not drive so I always went to their home when she needed a spanking.   I was still working at that time so I would usually go there in the early evening time.  He worked an evening shift so he was usually not home, but he was OK with me spanking her.  Sometimes it would be on his day off and he would be home.  He was also laid off work for a while.

They had a long, sectional couch.  I would spank and paddle her otk at one end of the couch.  If he was at home, he would be sitting at the other end, playing a video war game on their TV.  I was lecturing her once before a spanking.  I cannot remember the reason for the lecture but she apparently tried to give me a reason for her bad behavior that was less than truthful.  He quickly corrected her by telling me what really happened.  If dirty looks were lethal, I would have witnessed a murder that evening.  She was not happy he told me she was lying.  I have attended several spanking parties, so spanking someone in the presence of their significant other is not unusual.  But this discipline relationship was different and more like I think the OP wanted to hear about.    

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9 hours ago, Chastener said:

I guess my discomfort with the witnessed spanking comes from a feeling that the husband would like to do it himself, but for some reason cannot.  In the few instances (for me) that it has been requested, I had no illusion that the husband would be turned on by the process, and I didn't have the benefit of the process of husband-wife consent that you described.  I guess my basic feeling is that humiliation is goal, but I am not sure whether the husband or wife feels that humiliation more intensely.  And thanks for the advice; it's given me something to think about.

Yes, I got that impression from some of the couples I had worked with. The husband couldn't bring himself to actually do the spanking for whatever reason, but wanted his wife to have that experience. There was no doubt at least one of the couples was a situation where the husband wanted to humiliate his wife by bringing her to another male for spankings. She was apparently perfectly OK with that aspect of it so in that instance, I'm sure she felt it more intensely. 

I'd suggest that you should consider it carefully before deciding one way or the other.  I don't think it is too far out for a couple to request this sort of activity.  Everyone involved should be in the same place about it emotionally and psychologically though. 

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10 hours ago, FtWorthOTK55 said:

There was one woman I use to spank in the presence of her husband.  Not because he wanted to watch, but because he was vanilla and did not want to spank her.  I met them at spanking parties we had in our local area.  He would go with her sometimes but he did not participate.  She wanted a discipline relationship and that is something we did not do at parties.  She did not drive so I always went to their home when she needed a spanking.   I was still working at that time so I would usually go there in the early evening time.  He worked an evening shift so he was usually not home, but he was OK with me spanking her.  Sometimes it would be on his day off and he would be home.  He was also laid off work for a while.

They had a long, sectional couch.  I would spank and paddle her otk at one end of the couch.  If he was at home, he would be sitting at the other end, playing a video war game on their TV.  I was lecturing her once before a spanking.  I cannot remember the reason for the lecture but she apparently tried to give me a reason for her bad behavior that was less than truthful.  He quickly corrected her by telling me what really happened.  If dirty looks were lethal, I would have witnessed a murder that evening.  She was not happy he told me she was lying.  I have attended several spanking parties, so spanking someone in the presence of their significant other is not unusual.  But this discipline relationship was different and more like I think the OP wanted to hear about.    

Wow!  It must have made some impression on you for you to recall detail like that.  That's exactly the kind of relationship I'd lke to avoid, but more power to you, for seeing it through like that.

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45 minutes ago, Chastener said:

Wow!  It must have made some impression on you for you to recall detail like that.  That's exactly the kind of relationship I'd lke to avoid, but more power to you, for seeing it through like that.

I thought it was funny he did not like spanking her but he was not going to let her get off easy by not being truthful.  Like I said, she did not think it funny at all.  I will also say I respect him for allowing her to attend spanking parties and have someone meet the need he was not willing to provide.  That was back around 2011.    

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On 10/23/2019 at 7:36 PM, FtWorthOTK55 said:

There was one woman I use to spank in the presence of her husband.  Not because he wanted to watch, but because he was vanilla and did not want to spank her.  

I had a somewhat similar situation even longer ago, in the early 00s. There was a woman who very much wanted discipline, but her husband didn't want to spank her for discipline himself (although he did some erotic spanking). The first time we met, she came with her husband, and we all discussed it together. I know I offered to spank her in front of him, both so that he could see she was OK, and also so he might become more comfortable with spanking her himself. I honestly don't remember whether he took me up on it that first time or not, but I know that thereafter she always came to my house alone. Her husband was happy to participate in the general discipline context, helping to set up rules and determine when she violated them, but he didn't like to provide the strong spanking she needed for punishment--she had quite a high pain tolerance, so it took pretty severe spankings to have an effect. But he was happy to watch her behavior and warn her that she "would have to go see Doug" if she slipped up too much...

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As I mentioned in a previous thread I once had a very satisfactory experience along these lines.  There was a married couple I knew well.  The wife had committed an infraction that deserved punishment but they weren't DD oriented in any way, and in fact horrified by any thought of domestic violence.  So, in his presence and after elaborate verbal reiterations from both of them that they wanted me to proceed, I gave her a severe bare-bottom belting that broought her to real tears - first humiliation, then pain, and ultimately remorse.

This worked to repair the matter between the two of them and we remained close friends.  And I felt good about the whole thing in all dimensions.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              H.

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