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Self Spanking for Stress Relief

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A lot of what I have read on these forums says that a big part of a stress relief spanking, when done with a partner, is giving up control at least for that time. I know there are others on here who self spank for stress relief. How do you feel about not having the opportunity to give up control, does that impact the effectiveness of the stress relief from the spanking? Do you compensate in any other way?

Do you find to achieve that sense of relief you need a long or hard spanking, does a shorter spanking help you at least in some way?


I find my needs to get the sense of relief vary, so I'm wondering what others think.


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At times I find the self-spanking quite relieving, it feels like a purge, and I'm fairly convinced I crave the endorphin rush. I thought i had resolved my feelings about spanking, and that I was content with self-spanking, knowing that in my partner wasn't interested in spanking me. Now I'm not so sure. I feel lost, for the first time in quite a while. I think I will have a break from self-spanking, the frustration I feel about not being able to share this lifestyle is becoming difficult to handle.

Sorry I've not really ansered your questions. 

when I self-spank, I tend to use the cane, sometimes as hard as i can muster, but short series of sixes. Other times I find a gentler stingy series of many light strokes more satisfying. It depends on my state of mind and state of physical health. I have a few long-term health problems so need to take those into consideration before I leather myself.


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Back before the internet and these chat sites self spanking was my primary stress relief. I have discovered if one can get someone to direct the self spanking by phone or cam it is ALMOST as good as if I was being spanked for real. Its much harder to stop when your are being told what to do. I have given and received some serious self spankings that way. I do prefer females but I take what I can get as long as its a sound bare bottom spanking.

There are two people who come her once in a while and light my butt on fire but not often enough.


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I regularly self-spank and am only spanked for stress relief. For me, giving up control doesn't matter much...but that's just how my need is. It's the physicality of the spanking...hearing and feeling the swats, the pain, and the release that comes from the physical act of being spanked that relieves my stress. Now granted, because it's the physicality of it that benefits me and that I find honestly enjoyable, I am able to give myself very thorough spankings. I personally dislike being directed, but like otkpantsdown 49 said, some people do find that beneficial, and it would add some component of giving up control and submitting to a spanking if that is an important aspect for you.

I personally just do it until I am satisfied that my bottom feels and looks well-spanked. That is what fulfills my personal need, and it works perfectly well for me. As long as I feel like I've been genuinely spanked, I get the relief I need.

As for the type of spanking that works for me, usually long and hard spankings do it. I need it to genuinely hurt to be effective, and that's what I desire, so that's what works for me. But I have definitely found what works for me and I am very satisfied with self-spanking.

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Thank you RBG I appreciate the honest and thorough reply.  I guess it is the physicality that I need also. The sound, and the physical sting (pain). I've been tending to go towards harder spankings of late, even longer. The other day I did a 30 minute (continuous) spanking. Wonderful, oh very sore, but wonderful. And yes, I did really enjoy it. I am not trusting enough for directed, so I have what I have. I'd love (I think) a real spanking, but I don't know if that will ever happen so self spanking it is and as you said I am very satisfied with that. I just need privacy in the house so I can't always do it when I want to.

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  • 6 months later...

I self spank because every now and then I get a huge desire to do so and the benefits are a ...calm mental state, a rush of endorphins...a wonderful sense of well being and a boost of motivation and energy the only downside is a sore behind the duration of which depends on the severity delivered!

The sexual aspect is a happy bi product but it's not the be all and end all.

Generally I do it because I makes me feel good! ?

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  • 1 month later...
On 7/10/2019 at 2:02 PM, JonnyLongshanks said:

I thought i had resolved my feelings about spanking.... knowing that in my partner wasn't interested in spanking me. Now I'm not so sure. I feel lost, for the first time in quite a while. I think I will have a break from self-spanking, the frustration I feel about not being able to share this lifestyle is becoming difficult to handle.



I know what you're saying. I was recently (January-February) feeling that same frustration while on a dating site. It's like the rest of the world has no idea where we're coming from.  

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  • 1 month later...

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