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How I started spanking my husband


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We're in our mid 30's.  Maybe closer to pushing 40 if I'm being honest. And we've been together since our early 20's.

I've always had a spanking fetish. Every fantasy I've ever had has involved me getting spanked.  I remember asking a boyfriend to spank me for the first time in my teens.  Little taps. Other boyfriends gave a few wimpy slaps.  A good spanker is seemingly impossible to find.  

I fully confessed my desires to my husband shortly after we married. Spankings. Real ones. Hard. For punishment, not sex. It's a weirdly sexual but not sexual fetish. I don't quite understand but that's the way it is for me  I like the before and the after, not the spanking itself. At least not when receiving. But you can't get the before or the after any other way.

He obliged the best he could.  Finally I had some marks. Lovely bruises. Sitting sore for a day or two. One time I even cried. But it never amounted to anything consistent and that's what I wanted.  A DD lifestyle I suppose.

Sometimes I'd get angry and frustrated.   He's so much larger than me, by a foot and about a hundred pounds.  He just looks dominant. Intimidating even. He should be dominant. But deep down I knew that wasn't the case. Because I ran things. Our household. Appointments. Finances. Outings. Everything. 

So I gave up. He couldn't even spank me unless I told him to. Disappointing I guess but there's porn. Even most of that isn't right though.  Oh well, nothing I can do about that  (but read on, there is!)

Fast forward a decade or so to get right up to the present. Or the very recent past if you want to be specific. 

My husband and I had been quarling every night after I got home from work. (We work different shifts). The house wasn't getting picked up. We have young kids, it's hard, I know. But when he comes home from work the house is in order. When I come home it's a disaster and there he is snoozing away leaving it for me the next day. So this is the fight we'd been having for weeks. Maybe months. I'd start bitching at him until he got out of bed and picked up. I tried telling him so many times how important it was to me to have the house in order. Not perfect, just not a disaster. I became a nag and he resented that and just started tuning me out. I resented him too  

I started thinking about how he comes across as so dominant. And I don't know what made it finally click but my husband is not dominant. Ignoring me, Rudeness, Snottiness and Laziness aren't dominant traits. They're immature and unacceptable. And begging for a spanking. If anyone should have known that it's me.  How could I have been so blind for all these years?  My husband is a brat.

I texted him while he was at work and told him that I was going to spank him. He balked. No, no, he would spank me for the mere suggestion. Again I told him I was going to spank him. That I was tired of the messy house. That he was tired of the nagging. That I didn't like the nagging myself. I was going to spank him and after it was over and done with it would be a win-win situation for us both. A clean house for me and no more getting bitched at for him.  He agreed but said he was going to spank me 10x what ever he got. I reminded him he has always had my concern to discipline me if I need it and that won't change but I was going to spank him because he deserved it. I promised I would go easy on him and use only my hand... this time anyway. He's kind of a baby.  

When he got home I shut the curtains and told him to drop trou and bend over the arm of the couch.  My husband who towers over me, who can be such a (dearly loved) asshole, who put up such a fuss in our texts over this, did exactly as I instructed during a blink. I didn't even get to see it. And so there he was, just like that, bare bottom in the air.  

I've never seen a view like that before. The porn I watch is of a female bottom because that is what I relate too. But okay, I can do this because I know exactly how it should be done. I've been imagining the perfect technique for decades. Just never did I think this is how I would experience it. I started spanking. Not too hard at first, mostly just stinging. I increased the intensity and he said "Wow, OK" which doesn't mean a lot to you but I know my husband and I knew he was expressing his surprise at how hard I was spanking him given his earlier threat of spanking me 10x harder.  (That he's yet to make good on and I doubt he ever will) He stayed in position better than I've ever been able to but his hand came back a time or two. Any place he managed to rub got some extra attention. I put some focus on his sit spots and made sure he was getting rosy all over. It was kind of cute. I really didn't expect to be turned on.  I was just about to finish up but he reached around to try and smack my ass.  He shouldn't be feeling so playful during a punishment. I know enough to know that the top of the thighs are quite sensitive so when he did this I dodged and started spanking him there. He bucked and exclaimed that he's never spanked me there before. Well, he shouldn't have done that. Once he started to behave again I gave him a few more all over and let him up.  And up he was. I let him know that next time there would be more, that from now on what he just got would be the warm up. That I'd not go so easy on him ever again. But that being said I'm a big believer in kissing and making up, no details there. 

I talked to him about it the next day, about how I wanted to do this as a from now on kind of thing. He first said that I shouldn't get used to it. So I told him how much I enjoyed spanking him.  And even though it embarrassed him I told him I knew he enjoyed it too. And it's true. And it's something I never would have expected from either of us. Not once in all my years have I ever had the desire or thought to spank someone before. Not once has he ever expressed a desire to be spanked. But really I just had to say it again and he gave in all too easily to be anything other than a dead giveaway.  I think he can see the difference it made too even if he doesn't want to admit it.  There's no shame between us. And we both know how much he needed it. Heck, I almost can't wait until he needs another one.  

Fortunately (or maybe unfortunately?) he's a good sub.  Our home has been kept in order while I'm at work. I had given him a couple other spankable offenses to start with and he's minded my word to the letter. His attitude towards me has totally changed and our interactions are different in the best of ways. I feel like all these years he just needed to be spanked even more than I ever wanted to be.  So here I am, a bottom who became a top and I definitely like the view.  :)

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Agreed - the most encouraging story I have read on this site in a long time.  Keep us informed.

                                                                                                                                                             H.

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That's just wonderful, and I'd be thrilled if my wife would spank me regularly so that I would come to expect getting one for similar lack of attention to household chores or being bratty.  I know of two couples who will openly admit to a domestic discipline relationship where spankings are given for such things and they say it's an excellent way to keep the peace and that they never argue or fight over things any more. 

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@Longtimespanking It's been several weeks since we started and like your friends I can attest to the wonderful relationship changes.  Especially since he's now come to realize it's not all fun and games. No longer having to nag is absolutely amazing which is the biggest bonus in my book.. and his too!  I don't know where your wife falls on this side of things  but perhaps she might agree to a trial period to see if the result can speak for itself? 

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Thanks for sharing. Glad that you are both enjoying the improvement (s) in your marriage. No one is perfect and I am sure both you can see room for improvements in each other. Have you thought of setting aside a regular time to talk things over as you work to help your marriage? A time of accountability/reviewing issues and helping each other with a spanking?

Do keep us posted on how things are going for both of you.

All the best:) 

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It sounds like you enjoy spanking and being spanked for both erotic and disciplinary reasons.  If I were single, I'd be looking for somebody just like you - the perfect switch spouse.  I would gladly take my licking for breaking the rules, but you'd better be on your best behavior, young lady, or there would be some serious reciprocation.   ;)

 

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What a great story, I'm glad you took things in hand and stopped the nagging. Nagging kills a relationship where as positive action builds it.

My girlfriend is relatively docile,but she beats my ass very hard because I ask her too. She is quite good at it and fulfills my cravings for the bruises and soreness that I desire.

Best of luck!

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Such a great story!  I'm really glad this is working out for you.  Sometimes I think that everybody should be in a DD relationship.  My bf and I have been together over a year and a half and have never fought.  We're not sitting around nursing resentments, either.  We made an agreement in the beginning about how things were going to work between us, and we've stuck to it.   I'm MUCH happier being told no on occasion and getting a sore butt now and then than being nagged, bullied, shamed, or given the silent treatment. 

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  • 3 months later...
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Guest Michelle's sub

I can relate to this, I wanted to spank my wife for years but my wife us very vanilla. I'm a huge cane fan but I've always known my wife wouldn't ever entertain a real spanking let alone a caning. 

During the corona lockdown we did a lot of talking and spanking came up. She was surprised I told her I was a switch leaning toward submissive because I'd ever mentioned her punishing me. That very night she ordered a cane off amazon... Amazon can you believe. 

To cut a long story short we now have 6 canes, a birch, a tawse and a paddle and I am a very respectful sub to her. 

My bottom has never been its natural colour since. 

 

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  • 4 weeks later...

That is amazing! Sounds like you 2 are on your way to spanking bliss. I am looking forward to see how this story progresses. Sounds like my dynamic. My wife will find a reason to take me OTK for a blistering when it’s play time. She takes something and runs with it. Like i didn’t empty the trash she we will start scolding me about that and keep it going until I’m in the corner sobbing with a bright shiny red backside.

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What a wonderful post. Congratulations on giving your husband the obvious discipline that he needs. As a wife who has been spanking my husband for 20 years,I love that fact that you are holding him responsible for his actions.l would like to make some suggestions. 1) write down a set of rules that you expect him to follow in your marriage. 2)sit down with him and discuss each rule and make it clear that he will be spanked for breaking a rule. 3). Maintenance spankings are something you might consider. My husband gets a weekly spanking from me. It shows who is in charge. 4) Go out and purchase some spanking implements. I hand spank my husband and also have implements for serious offenses. 5) Why should you do all the housework or any for that matter ? Saturdays my husband must do the housework and done right and without complaining. Well these are a few suggestions and it is good to hear that you are holding him accountable for his actions. My marriage has been a happy one and I am happy to hear yours is going so well now.        Ms L

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Wow!  Thank you for sharing this.  Its the dynamic and relationship you have with each other and spanking that stands out.  Its such an intimate connection and  showing much trust on getting to know the other.  

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