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What's your number one


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I'm curious for both ee's and ER's. What is your number once spankable offense/broken rule? I know there can be warnings forre sone things or lighter discipline for minor things.  But what is the one thing thay will get addressed promptly and strictly every time? 

 

Mine is safety. If you put your, or others safety at risk,  its dealt with immediately.  

 

What say you?

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Mine was tobacco use, but I quit 4 months ago. Now it's taking my meds and bedtime.

I have a bad habit of not taking care of myself well.

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Safety is definitely number 1 but apart from that, I'd say lying. Cant have a good EE/ER relationship without complete trust in my opinion.

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5 hours ago, shygurl said:

Mine was tobacco use, but I quit 4 months ago. Now it's taking my meds and bedtime.

I have a bad habit of not taking care of myself well.

Good job! Proud of you for quitting! 

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2 hours ago, JoKitten said:

Personal welfare and safety as at times I just fail to consider things in the rush act on impulsive of which I have many

Safety of yourself ans others should be priority at all times, but impulse can be just as important.  Especially in emergency situations.  

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5 hours ago, Kce89 said:

Safety is definitely number 1 but apart from that, I'd say lying. Cant have a good EE/ER relationship without complete trust in my opinion.

Agreed. Lying/cheating/abuse of property or others (verbal altercations for no real reason other tgen anger and the like) is a close second.  

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1 minute ago, wanttospank said:

Cell phone usage while in social settings, like dinner with  group, and especially cell phone usage while driving.

Cell while driving falls into safety for me and is a big no no. 

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Safety and taking care of oneself haven’t come up personally for me in reality in a long, long time, even as I see here in this thread that, both this thread and in many posts and conversations it’s mighty common here.  

Mine are probably disrespect and honesty.  

Don’t think there’s been a post yet that I disagree with. 

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I’ve not caught one on a cell phone, but one spankee, while admitting use as one thing to be spanked for, she has a deep spankee bug and doesn’t really want to change behavior.  

Spanked her damn hard, brought on trying to get her to stop. She squirmed, tried blocking (always a bad move) but didn’t stop. Only got more careful and allegedly only at red lights.  

I don’t completely believe her.  I think I need heavier implements - exoecialky as bruising is an issue for her. Maybe break down for a Lexan paddle.  Open to idea. . 

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2 hours ago, dmirk said:

I’ve not caught one on a cell phone, but one spankee, while admitting use as one thing to be spanked for, she has a deep spankee bug and doesn’t really want to change behavior.  

Spanked her damn hard, brought on trying to get her to stop. She squirmed, tried blocking (always a bad move) but didn’t stop. Only got more careful and allegedly only at red lights.  

I don’t completely believe her.  I think I need heavier implements - exoecialky as bruising is an issue for her. Maybe break down for a Lexan paddle.  Open to idea. . 

Heavier implements aren't the answer, imo, nor is spanking itself. If she doesn't want to change this behavior, spanking isn't going to make her. I think spanking can be a great aid in behavior modification, but it's only an aid. The ee needs to buy into the behavior change. Ultimately, only the ee can make the change; spanking is just an aid/reminder/incentive to work on it. This is especially true in a non-relationship setting, where the er's time with the ee is limited. Maybe, just maybe, in a full time relationship an er can cause an ee to change behavior by constant oversight and reinforcement, but I'm betting that even there the only real change will come after the ee decides that if it's that important to the er, it should be important to the ee as well, and desires to make the change in order to please the er. I just don't think that fear/pain by itself is going to be enough of a motivator to change deep-seated behavior.

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That's absolutely true.  

When I say heavier, I don't mean weight.  I'm talking maximum pain and minimal marks.  She MIGHT process that better, but I'm not optimistic.  The fact that she's right outside DC and in there a fair bit scares me.

That said, it's someone I don't see often - in fact once so far.  We're trying to put another together another date, but it's complicated.

Spent four hours with her.  Four separate spankings, spaced between with learning more about each other.  At least I got something into her head.  She consented to the last one but didn't want to, and her second corner time pulled her panties up.   I had to correct that.

I'd give it one more shot before I concede that she's just making issues up to get spanked.

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Safety first, disrespect (specifically responding to me with 'duh', 'whatever' or rolling eyes. 'Fine' is also one but that's more contextual. Like it's okay in response to a question "how are you, etc" but not in response to being told or asked to do something.)

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7 hours ago, dmirk said:

That's absolutely true.  

When I say heavier, I don't mean weight.  I'm talking maximum pain and minimal marks.  She MIGHT process that better, but I'm not optimistic.  The fact that she's right outside DC and in there a fair bit scares me.

That said, it's someone I don't see often - in fact once so far.  We're trying to put another together another date, but it's complicated.

Spent four hours with her.  Four separate spankings, spaced between with learning more about each other.  At least I got something into her head.  She consented to the last one but didn't want to, and her second corner time pulled her panties up.   I had to correct that.

I'd give it one more shot before I concede that she's just making issues up to get spanked.

Sounds like she is making it up to me but good luck

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1 hour ago, Sadie said:

Safety first, disrespect (specifically responding to me with 'duh', 'whatever' or rolling eyes. 'Fine' is also one but that's more contextual. Like it's okay in response to a question "how are you, etc" but not in response to being told or asked to do something.)

Those are good ones

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1 minute ago, OregonWolf said:

Sounds like she is making it up to me but good luck

I suspect you’re right.  We like each other so I’m likely to see her again, but I’m not expecting a breakthrough, though I’ll be more assertive.  

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5 minutes ago, dmirk said:

I suspect you’re right.  We like each other so I’m likely to see her again, but I’m not expecting a breakthrough, though I’ll be more assertive.  

Maybe sit down and talk it over. Tell her this is what you've seen and if she's enjoying it then maybe the discipline agreement isn't working?.  

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15 minutes ago, OregonWolf said:

 if she's enjoying it then maybe the discipline agreement isn't working?.  

I may be taking this out of context, but SO. MUCH. THIS. I can comfortably say that I don't 'enjoy' spanking anyone. I find it valuable as a corrective tool (and believe it is Biblically sound as correction) but it honestly does hurt my heart when a punishment is necessary (by and large...of course there are situations where it's just needed for stress relief or reassurance that someone is there for you and there is the lighter side like birthday spankings which are a different context/headspace.) 

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27 minutes ago, OregonWolf said:

Maybe sit down and talk it over. Tell her this is what you've seen and if she's enjoying it then maybe the discipline agreement isn't working?.  

She’s likely just into being spanked hard. 

There are worse problems. 

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