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What is the biggest deterrent to your misbehavior?


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Is there any punishment that works best in deterring your behavior? A spanking? Something else? A particular Implement, promised, that will make your brain say, I will be good because I don't want that?

His disappointment hurts my heart so that would be my biggest deterrent. I'm not talking about little things like bedtime, but the things that deeply matter between us. There have been a few of those and I hope never to see that look in his eyes again. 

Although my boyfriend doesn't use it, being grounded or restricted from something would drive me crazy. I hate any kind of restriction. I had a partner years ago that would ground me and I would have taken any punishment over that. Whatever I was grounded from or restricted from was what I wanted or what I wanted to do most at that time.

As far as implements go...it's the delrin cane, the lexan naughty stick and the large paddle with holes. If I know ahead of time he is going to use those I will try much harder to tow the line. Those are the implements that cause butterflies in my tummy. They get through to me better than anything. I'm not fond of any implement in his hand, but those three are the worse.

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I agree, the worst is the feeling that I have displeased my Dominant.   When I am about to be punished, that feeling is ever present and I just feel terrible and tell myself I should never displease her again.  That is a mental feeling and present only to myself.   A good hard physical spanking is the best remedy for rule breaking or any poor behavior.   Knowing it is fully deserved, presenting my bare ass, holding position and accepting whatever she deems necessary is the deterrent which works best for me.   As far as implements, she generally uses the implements prescribed  in our list of offenses and punishments.  She does have the power to change the implement and sometimes does.  I guell I would say the rubber strap is my most feared implement.

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When working with my EE for weight-loss, when spankings were not successful I would take all sweets away for a period of time.  I think she hated that more than the spankings.  She called it "being grounded."

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The disappointment I know he feels is worse than any type of punishment he can give me.

He doesn't believe in grounding or anything along those lines but reserves the right to use them.  What kind of fucked up logic is that?  lol

Rarely does he give any other punishment than a spanking.  If he does, there is a spanking coupled with it.  For me it doesn't matter what he spanks with, it's just as bad either way.  Of course when that stupid cane comes in, everything may quickly change in that aspect!

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  • 1 year later...

The term deterring, is proper term....  There is no way to permanently stop misbehavior...  Once a personal weakness is recognized and admitted to, she can use her authority to bare take over knee and make you/me regret the misbehavior and make you/me think multiple times before repeating.

 

While this did not occur in my childhood, I am sure all can recall a spanking years later. This left a lasting impression. Though an adult, the same embarrassment/humiliation and pain is effective for me. 

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My biggest deterrent is disappointing or upsetting my Dom/ER. Knowing that I truly upset him would be the worst, and it doesn’t matter what punishment would come along with that. It’s the emotional pain that hurts the most

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  • 4 weeks later...

I can relate to the feeling that you disappoint your significant other half, and also yourself (!) if it's something that's for your benefit for example... Or when you've hurt your Dominant/Spanker, that's really painful, and hurts much more than whatever spanking/implement ever could cause.

An implement that is very domestic and always teaches me a lesson is as simple as the belt. I fear it and hate it, yet I know in some cases it is the best choice to punish me with. Because I hate the pain it causes and the fact that it's so visibly present (when the Dominant is wearing it for example and you know that within hours "it's time"...)

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 5/23/2020 at 7:18 AM, ukspanko said:

Mostly self hatred to be honest. If I screw up even a little bit in life I loathe myself for months. 

Introspection is good.  But don't ever lose your self-confidence and self-respect.  I always feel that you don't need to be your own harshest critic, because somebody or other will come along soon enough to do that for you.

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  • 4 months later...
On 3/22/2019 at 3:15 AM, shygurl said:

Is there any punishment that works best in deterring your behavior? A spanking? Something else? A particular Implement, promised, that will make your brain say, I will be good because I don't want that?

His disappointment hurts my heart so that would be my biggest deterrent. I'm not talking about little things like bedtime, but the things that deeply matter between us. There have been a few of those and I hope never to see that look in his eyes again. 

Although my boyfriend doesn't use it, being grounded or restricted from something would drive me crazy. I hate any kind of restriction. I had a partner years ago that would ground me and I would have taken any punishment over that. Whatever I was grounded from or restricted from was what I wanted or what I wanted to do most at that time.

As far as implements go...it's the delrin cane, the lexan naughty stick and the large paddle with holes. If I know ahead of time he is going to use those I will try much harder to tow the line. Those are the implements that cause butterflies in my tummy. They get through to me better than anything. I'm not fond of any implement in his hand, but those three are the worse.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Ironically, for me the punishments that hurt the most (but are not the best deterrent) are the ones that spanking and D/s often eliminate from a relationship: the silent treatment, being banished from the bedroom, and others that restrict intimacy. I really feel those punishments are unfair and should not be used, and that spanking and other direct consequences (corner time, writing lines, extra chores, lecture, loss of privileges) are much better ways to maintain a relationship because they don't restrict intimacy and are not passive-aggressive the way the silent treatment is. When I am treated that way I feel terrible but also resentful, and they do not truly serve as a deterrent. I feel unloved, which makes me want to misbehave in various ways, whereas when I am spanked I feel very loved and cared for.

Having said that, the punishment that does serve as an excellent deterrent is a really hard spanking that includes a lot of lecturing where it is very clear that I have disappointed my disciplinarian. As others have said, that emotional component is extremely powerful. While my behavior is often selfish, I truly do not want to disappoint her -- and I think about that when I am faced with the choice of doing (or not doing) something that I know will disappoint her: Do I really want to do this, knowing that she is likely to find out and be disappointed and express her disappointment while punishing me? NO! I want her to be proud of me and say "Good boy" and maybe give me a pleasurable spanking (and maybe more).

tony

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