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shygurl

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This is a topic that has been brought up in the past, but it isn't discussed often.

Do you understand what subspace really is?

What are your experiences with it? Is it a place you strive to reach? Do you think it should be allowed during punishment? Have you ever experienced sub drop?

I'm just curious what others have experienced.

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A sub once told me exactly how to spank her so that she could get into subspace. This was impact play and her instructions were very good. Her eyes glassed over and she was in a trance like state for bit bit before being oblivious to anything around her.

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I have had one experience of genuine subspace with a spankee, she was with me for a few years  we really got to know and trust one another . She is now happliy married to someone who loves and  spanks her and about to have her first child. But for a while I was her spanker . 

With her it was achieved with a strap and it was a function of repeated smacks low down where her bottom and thighs met , not exceptionally hard smacks but hard enough to get her attention . She said " don't stop" not a normal spankee response in a discipline session ! But it became far more than a discipline session. Like is said above she glazed  over and seemed to go deep inside herself . I quickly realised she wasn't actually  noticing the smacks it was part  a much bigger experience for her - she was basically purring like a very contented cat . 

She said afterwards it was pure contentment- a bit like ghosts I didn't believe in it until I saw it . 

I dint think I could ever " recreate the experience " it was a then and now"  thing for someone and she just happened to be in  the mental state to get there .

One word of caution to spankers, if she (  I guess he too) is there then they will not be aware of the strokes there is a danger of smacking too hard it was the rhythm I think that mattered not the stinging,   her bottom was already well stung ! 

 

 

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54 minutes ago, Curious60 said:

I have had one experience of genuine subspace with a spankee, she was with me for a few years  we really got to know and trust one another . She is now happliy married to someone who loves and  spanks her and about to have her first child. But for a while I was her spanker . 

Sounds like you guys had a wonderful, trusting relationship. While not every one can get there, for sure its very real for some ee's. It can be scary for a spanker who becomes aware of this and had little experience how to help at that moment. Generally, once a person starts coming out of subspace, its wise to make sure they get some sugar right away, either in a drink or candy.... Others with more medical knowledge than I have can explain the reasons why..

Davyd 

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20 hours ago, shygurl said:

This is a topic that has been brought up in the past, but it isn't discussed often.

Do you understand what subspace really is?

What are your experiences with it? Is it a place you strive to reach? Do you think it should be allowed during punishment? Have you ever experienced sub drop?

I'm just curious what others have experienced.

from my understanding subspace is brought on by the endorphin release and is similar to the Runner's High or other similar feelings brought on by endorphin release

if it should be "allowed" or not is a curious question, as I'm not sure someone could stop the onset of entering subspace if she tried, likewise I'm not sure how a spanker or disciplinarian could intentionally trigger subspace

I have had sessions where the spankee was so "high" afterwards she floated to her car and I was more than a little concerned about her ability to drive home (yes, she made it safely) - I'm pretty sure that was a subspace scenario

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Very interesting. I was curious to see others experiences.

Yes, subspace is caused by a mixture of adrenaline and endorphins. It's a trance like state. It also increases pain tolerance, sometimes to a scary level.

I've been in subspace multiple times. For me it takes a certain type of spanking and build up. A very deep trust in my partner.  I need to be physically supported, for example, laying across a bed. I need to hear his voice during the spanking, especially at the beginning. I have to feel deeply submissive. Also the spanking has to be hard. Light spanks do nothing. As others have said, there also needs to be a certain rhythm as well. Subspace creates intense feelings in me at the time. I become incoherent. I come out of it later feeling dizzy and unsteady for awhile. I am also very tired and worn out.

Aftercare is very important with subspace. Many don't realize there is a thing called subdrop, but it is very real. It's important to be held, touched and talked to as you are coming down. Coming down alone can cause deep emotional responses. Yes, sugar has been known to help and rehydration is also very important.

I hit Subspace on Tuesday during a discipline spanking. I was so deep that I missed a lot going on around me. During that time my friend was spanked in the same room and I didn't hear any of it. I have this big chunk of lost time. It's hard to explain, but it's such a deep relaxed state of nothingness. I have had times where I was floating and somewhat aware of other things and I have had times where I was so deep that nothing penetrated my brain at all. That's how it was on Tuesday.  Everything ceased to exist. I was relaxed and nothing else mattered. I love that.

On ‎3‎/‎7‎/‎2019 at 12:52 PM, Gator said:

if it should be "allowed" or not is a curious question, as I'm not sure someone could stop the onset of entering subspace if she tried, likewise I'm not sure how a spanker or disciplinarian could intentionally trigger subspace.

I posed this question because a spanker can stop it if he understands subspace and is aware of it. When a person begins that relaxed state you can pull her from it by changing positions, changing an implement, changing your rhythm, etc. Of course you have to catch it early. Some spankers do not allow subspace during a punishment and they actively watch to make sure she doesn't get there. I was curious if there were spankers who feel this way and know how to stop it.

No, I don't feel a spanker can intentionally cause subspace. The spankee has to have the ability to enter a deep relaxed state and let everything go. He can't do that for her/him. Not all spankees have this ability.

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I dont know shygurl,  how do you know what you're experiencing is not just a purely subjective state of mind that you are able to self-induce?  I am not sure the experience can translate to every sub.  It just sounds really subjective and a very tough thing to actually measure.  This is cool though, because now I want to go research and learn more about this!  Thanks shy! 

 

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Research and study AG because if I could self-induce these feelings, I'd be the happiest girl alive!!! You may need some more experience in the lifestyle to understand. It also helps if you've witnessed it before. Its not easy to explain to someone who has never felt it or witnessed it.

This is not a typical every day reaction to a spanking, the elements have to be just right. I haven't hit subspace in quite some time until Tuesday. I've been a restless and stressed mess since July. For some reason everything fell into place and I didn't realize it had even happened until I was coming out of it. Luckily my boyfriend knows what to watch for and how to handle it.

No, not every sub can reach subspace. Each sub who does will have a different experience. There are similarities though.

Research and let me know what you find...

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The first time someone spaced on me it scared the crap out of me.  I had been using a dragon tail on her and she had been squirming around and she suddenly stopped.  I was still using the same intensity but there was suddenly no reaction at all.  It took her about 20 minutes to come back down to earth.

Over the past 10 years or so, I have taken people to subspace quite a few times.  I have found that a gradual warm-up that lets the EE relax is the best way to start.  Then I start ramping the intensity up and play off of her reactions.  I stop periodically and rub some of the sting out.  I try to incorporate some light communication, ask "how are you doing?" periodically, etc.  Too much communication can inhibit the ability to go into subspace for some people.

Aftercare is very important for many people.  I wrap them in a blanket and hold them for a while.  They are usually cold and often thirsty.  One thing a lot of people don't know about subdrop is that it can occur the day after or, more often, a couple of day after the session.  I always remain engaged with the EE during that period of time, even if it is texting and teasing her about the condition of her bottom.  I once had an EE partner who was an attorney who would have to sit on hard wooden seats that next day.  Subdrop can cause big swings in emotion and if the EE feels like the the ER has "abandoned" them it can make that even worse.

Obviously, I'm not talking about discipline sessions, I'm talking about "play" sessions.  I think someone would have a hard time reaching space during discipline.

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2 hours ago, AfterGeometry said:

I dont know shygurl,  how do you know what you're experiencing is not just a purely subjective state of mind that you are able to self-induce?  I am not sure the experience can translate to every sub.  It just sounds really subjective and a very tough thing to actually measure.  This is cool though, because now I want to go research and learn more about this!  Thanks shy! 

 

Not everyone can reach subspace.  I have known many who have said they can't.  As mentioned above, it requires the right combination of trust, sensation, and the ability of the EE to relax and let go.  In my experience, it requires a long session - it doesn't happen in 5 minutes, maybe more like 20 or 30 minutes.

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Would you be able good to ge there for a stress relief session? 

Also- I’m assuming self spanking subspace wouldn’t be possible?

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11 hours ago, Bha said:

Would you be able good to ge there for a stress relief session? 

Also- I’m assuming self spanking subspace wouldn’t be possible?

A stress-relief session is exactly the type of session that is conducive to achieving subspace.  I can't imagine a scenario where self-spanking would get someone there.  You can't really be doing anything else but lying there and processing the sensation.  There are also things that can pull someone out of subspace like a really hard unexpected whack or too much talking in the background.  You have probably never been to a dungeon but one of the Cardinal rules is no talking, laughing, etc. in an area where people are playing because it can disrupt their head space.

FYI, I have a couple of short videos posted on Spanking Tube and you can tell that my partner is clearly in subspace.  https://www.spankingtube.com/user/spanknutt/videos

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11 hours ago, Spanknutt said:

A stress-relief session is exactly the type of session that is conducive to achieving subspace.  I can't imagine a scenario where self-spanking would get someone there.  You can't really be doing anything else but lying there and processing the sensation.  There are also things that can pull someone out of subspace like a really hard unexpected whack or too much talking in the background.  You have probably never been to a dungeon but one of the Cardinal rules is no talking, laughing, etc. in an area where people are playing because it can disrupt their head space.

FYI, I have a couple of short videos posted on Spanking Tube and you can tell that my partner is clearly in subspace.  https://www.spankingtube.com/user/spanknutt/videos

Thanks for explaining more. It makes sense that this would be used as a stress relief “tool”..  and why self spanking wouldn’t be possible. Maybe some day I’ll experience this. 

As for the video- my goodness a double cane! Yikes. Impressive s/he held still, I get subspace more now. 

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20 hours ago, Bha said:

Would you be able good to ge there for a stress relief session? 

Also- I’m assuming self spanking subspace wouldn’t be possible?

No, I have never heard of anyone getting there with self spanking. There is no way to relax that deep.

Yes, a stress relief spanking could definitely get you there. Subspace takes time, trust and the ability to relax deeply.

I disagree with what was said above. You can get into subspace with a discipline spanking. It depends on your spanker and his style. I've gone to subspace while being disciplined many times. It's a disconnection from your mind and a deep relaxation. Some spankers spank hard, fast and are relentless during a discipline spanking. My guy has a method. He spanks hard, but slow. A few swats and then talking or rubbing, more hard swats and more rubbing or talking and on and on. It's a long session. He doesn't just beat my ass.

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1 hour ago, shygurl said:

No, I have never heard of anyone getting there with self spanking. There is no way to relax that deep.

Yes, a stress relief spanking could definitely get you there. Subspace takes time, trust and the ability to relax deeply.

I disagree with what was said above. You can get into subspace with a discipline spanking. It depends on your spanker and his style. I've gone to subspace while being disciplined many times. It's a disconnection from your mind and a deep relaxation. Some spankers spank hard, fast and are relentless during a discipline spanking. My guy has a method. He spanks hard, but slow. A few swats and then talking or rubbing, more hard swats and more rubbing or talking and on and on. It's a long session. He doesn't just beat my ass.

Your situation is not typical for discipline - lucky girl.  It sounds like he is kind of a sensual disciplinarian and what more could you ask for?   Out of curiosity, does he try, or want to take you  to subspace or does it just happen for you?  His method is not the norm for most who are into giving discipline. Taking you to subspace is almost a reward, don't you think? 

I have a play partner who was here tonight and we were watching a hockey game (Go Canes), and I told her about this thread.  Her perspective was that she could never reach subspace during discipline.  It's great that you can.

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Yes, I suppose it's a reward and it's rare when I'm in real trouble, but it does happen. He's not taking me there on purpose. He knows how to keep me focused if he wants to. At times, it's a good ending to very severe spanking. His method may be different, but I am well marked when he is done. He is a very serious spanker.

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On 3/6/2019 at 5:26 PM, shygurl said:

This is a topic that has been brought up in the past, but it isn't discussed often.

Do you understand what subspace really is?

What are your experiences with it? Is it a place you strive to reach? Do you think it should be allowed during punishment? Have you ever experienced sub drop?

I'm just curious what others have experienced.

Not nearly discussed enough!

It took quite a while for me to reach what I would consider subspace with my Dom and he's the only one who has gotten me there.  It took quite a bit of time for him to reach exactly what it was that I needed in a spanking. 

I've read and heard various interpretations of what exactly it feels like.  I'm not sure it is really the same for everyone.  And for me, I don't think just anybody could get me there either.  I'd have to have 100 percent trust in that person and their ability to read me.  

For me, it doesn't happen with just any type of spanking.  It has to be a pretty serious one.  

I generally try to hold still and stay in position as best as I can.  The smacks tend to get harder and faster until I do.  But at some point, it's like I almost go numb in a way.  I quit trying to move and just kind of accept what I have coming.  I can definitely still feel the spanking and it hurts but maybe not quite as bad?  Does that even make sense?  lol

And I get almost what I would describe as a euphoria.  I've been given morphine in the hospital for migraines in the past.  I must say it's quite similar to the feeling I get from that.  An almost high.  I don't tend to care about much and I'm relaxed, calm, and nothing seems to matter in a way.  It's as if everything is perfect.

My Dom has no problem with me reaching that state and I prefer to reach that state.  He can see the change in me.  He can see me go still and not flinch at every swat.  He knows how long to continue and when he should stop.  I couldn't imagine what could possibly happen if he didn't have that knowledge.

Hmm and sub drop.  I'm not entirely sure to be honest.  I get really emotional and loving and just kinda melt into him and pass out lol. 

 

 

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I think I get into subspace fairly easily.  I need trust and connection with the spanker so that I feel comfortable.  After that, it is mostly a matter of getting the endorphins and allowing myself to “trip” on submissive and masochistic feelings.  I get into an altered state where I never want to stop.  It just takes time and dedicated attention from the spanker.  However, when punishment is the goal, and I tend to be up front about this, all that my spanker need do is deny me the time to build up endorphins.  That means hard, fast, and cold spanking.  As punishment, it is very effective.

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  • 1 month later...
On 3/9/2019 at 6:41 AM, Spanknutt said:

A stress-relief session is exactly the type of session that is conducive to achieving subspace.  I can't imagine a scenario where self-spanking would get someone there.  You can't really be doing anything else but lying there and processing the sensation.  There are also things that can pull someone out of subspace like a really hard unexpected whack or too much talking in the background.  You have probably never been to a dungeon but one of the Cardinal rules is no talking, laughing, etc. in an area where people are playing because it can disrupt their head space.

FYI, I have a couple of short videos posted on Spanking Tube and you can tell that my partner is clearly in subspace.  https://www.spankingtube.com/user/spanknutt/videos

She certainly was spacing.  Excellent caning scenes!  I have never seen a double cane before.  Looked incredible....

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  • 11 months later...

I wish i would be in very good spanking friendship with a female spanker that really knows how to spank me by using her hand and leather belt on my bare butt to get me to experience subspace.

That is my spanking fantasy for this kind of friendship.

I'm curious about this experience because it is one of many reason's why i have decided to experiment with spanking in my life.

 

 

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On 3/7/2019 at 1:55 AM, xntrick said:

A sub once told me exactly how to spank her so that she could get into subspace. This was impact play and her instructions were very good. Her eyes glassed over and she was in a trance like state for bit bit before being oblivious to anything around her.

I completely understand subspace though I never heard the term. The times I've really been there I can't really describe. When I come out of it I get looks of disbelief almost. I can't have any input though. Actually it usually starts out with me kicking and screaming against it which never works. 

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I'm curious about how many of you have experienced subspace with men.  I think many of the people writing about this are women or men writing about women. A couple of the videos you were generous enough to share were male-female sessions that looked fairly severe.

I have gone into subspace occasionally and it takes a long and very hard spanking that takes me through crying and distress to get there. (I should also say I love it.)  But I've also set off a friend into something similar to subspace that was a sensory overload that put her into a panic.  I now have to really guard against doing that.

So, do you think men are likely to enter subspace and can you share how that went.

thank you!

 

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On 3/8/2019 at 2:37 PM, shygurl said:

Research and study AG because if I could self-induce these feelings, I'd be the happiest girl alive!!! You may need some more experience in the lifestyle to understand. It also helps if you've witnessed it before. Its not easy to explain to someone who has never felt it or witnessed it.

This is not a typical every day reaction to a spanking, the elements have to be just right. I haven't hit subspace in quite some time until Tuesday. I've been a restless and stressed mess since July. For some reason everything fell into place and I didn't realize it had even happened until I was coming out of it. Luckily my boyfriend knows what to watch for and how to handle it.

No, not every sub can reach subspace. Each sub who does will have a different experience. There are similarities though.

Research and let me know what you find...

This is such an educational topic, shygurl, and your sharing has been invaluable. I have one question... Could this state be dangerous? I haven't experienced it myself, nor with any spankee, but I now worry about it happening. You mentioned that your boyfriend knows what to watch for and how to handle it. Do you have any other tips besides hydration and maybe sugar? Any advice you'd be willing to share would be deeply appreciated. 

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2 hours ago, Chawsee said:

This is such an educational topic, shygurl, and your sharing has been invaluable. I have one question... Could this state be dangerous? I haven't experienced it myself, nor with any spankee, but I now worry about it happening. You mentioned that your boyfriend knows what to watch for and how to handle it. Do you have any other tips besides hydration and maybe sugar? Any advice you'd be willing to share would be deeply appreciated. 

I've seen subspace referred to as a morphine type drug that happens once the body has hit the flight or flight level and certain endorphins have been released. Having felt it multiple times, I tend to agree with that definition. I reach a completely detached state. I feel out of body. I go limp. The pain is completely gone for a time. It's a feeling I truly can't describe. It's something people don't understand until they feel it.

Hydration is the biggest key for me and then sleep. Subpace is the best feeling in the world, but it also exhausts me. Sugar can help bring you down slowly...just a couple squares of chocolate, etc. Aftercare is the next important part. Back rubs and him quietly talking to me brings me slowly back to the surface. It can take a few minutes or it can take longer if I fall asleep. 

The dangers I warn people about have a lot to do with you partner. You really need to trust a person if they are going to take you into subspace. They need to be able to read the signs and know when to stop spanking. Once you hit subspace, you aren't feeling that spanking anymore, and if your spanker isn't paying attention or doesn't really know what he is doing, he could go too far, thinking you are enjoying it or something. Your partner needs to know your limits and know the signs of subspace. Your body will completely relax and you will feel like jelly. It will be noticeable to a spanker if he is paying attention.

There is also sub drop that can happen a few minutes after you begin to come out of subspace or up to 48 hours later. It can come in the form of exhaustion, irritability, mood swings, crying and depression. Your partner should be checking in with you and monitoring how you feel. It's important to communicate. Sub drop is rare, but it does happen. If it does, some extra aftercare should take care of it.

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