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Drooaygah

No Drug or Alcohol References?

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Alright gang, being as the site is under new management, I have broached some subjects with Child of Light.  She suggested I post this one here.  So here we go.

For what possible reason is there a prohibition against making a reference to drugs or alcohol in the chatroom?  I myself got booted for 30 minutes awhile back, for the crime of saying I was having a drink and offering same to some others.  That's right gang - I typed into a chatroom that I was offering people an alcoholic drink.  Do I really have to point out that a "virtual" drink is not the same as an actual one?  That writing about drinking alcohol is not the same as drinking alcohol?  I've never heard of anyone being put in the tank for saying online that they were drunk.  

In case the argument is that such discussion might offend someone's sensibilities, allow me to point out that there is NO prohibition against discussing politics, and I have seen the chat explode into a firestorm because someone said something pro- or anti- Trump, Clinton, Obama, etc.  A prohibition against political discussion would frankly make sense to me.  A prohibition against saying "I'm having a martini - anyone else want one?" does not.

Child of Light has said that she's checking with a lawyer on the legalities around this, when people under 21 might be in the chat room.  I for one am not aware and can't imagine that there's laws against talking about alcohol in front of minors, anywhere, or against supplying virtual alcohol to virtual (or actual) minors.  Of course I suppose I could be wrong.

Unless one belongs to a particular religion, which prohibits use of alcohol, I can't see this as a moral issue, either.  And even if we accept that argument, do I need to point out this is, after all, a fetish/kink-related site?  And that the Jerry Falwells of the would consider this entire site horrendously immoral?

In the end, this is Child's site, and her choice.  But she wants to open the discussion up, so let's have it.  I say it's a silly rule that should go.  Let's hear what others have to say.

 

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I don't see any harm is discussing alcohol or saying you are having a drink. It is an adult site after all and it's not illegal. We should be able to discuss adult topics. If people don't like it they don't need to participate in the conversation or they can leave the chatroom for awhile.

Discussing alcohol is no different than discussing politics or any other adult subject.

 

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The Staff and I are all up for a legit discussion on this topic (as I mentioned it may not be possible); and if that is the case; it would be a safety risk for the site. However, I don't know that for a fact. I am all for as little censorship as there needs to be. So, if there is a way for members to discuss these things and it be a non-risk for everyone here; we're open to the talk. I'd like to see what everyone else weighs in with. Both of concerns of censorship of this and for lifting censorship. After this (or during) our Staffing team will discuss this privately as well.

Please note given everything going on, it might take a little bit longer than normal to get back to this thread.

Thanks :)

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I can understand the concern since the minimum age for the site is 18 and the age for purchasing alcohol is 21. However no one is purchasing alcohol on the site. Alcohol is shown on tv and movies and billboards without regard to whether all seeing it are of legal drinking age. My .02

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I get the prohibition about discussing children: it' s not only legally wrong but morally wrong too but no harm in discussing adult activities. Well said, Droo:-) I don' t drink alcohol but don' t care if others discuss it. In the real world children watch their parents drink and listen to adults discussing ,some, adult activities- it' s just a fact of life and this is an adult site so we should be able to have real adult conversation...

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It's less what you discuss so much as how for "adult topics". I'd like to think if if several of you did wish to debate a topic that you could in a non personal  way exploring the issues then you should be able to however I'd add a note of caution when it comes to politics in so far as my own experience of moderating goes it can easily get out of hand and what is more you may find such discussions start to get in way of friendships having seen things get so bad that we had little option to bar outright politics (Party x vs Party y, manifestos for elections) and only permit current affairs topics such as environmental programs, employment practices, transportation issues and the like.

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Re: JoKitten's comment - I actually would support a ban on political discussion, at least in the main room - not due to censorship but because these days it almost immediately escalates into total war.  

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I could see a problem with people under 21 "being offered alcohol" even if it is only virtual(as people tend not to think hey what if this person is under 21). However I personally don't have a problem with it(as someone under 21) as it's not real and I can reject the virtual alcohol.

However I've also had lots of experience online having to tell people hey wait I'm underage don't say that to me (before I was 18). However, not everyone is used or wants to do that. I know some people that would be uncomfortable with illegal stuff even if it's pretend (getting offered alcohol while under 21, other people under 21 drinking, etc).  Drugs that are illegal regardless of age would have similar issues, just effecting more people than the 18-21 population.

Just some things to consider.

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Just now, Zhev said:

I could see a problem with people under 21 "being offered alcohol" even if it is only virtual(as people tend not to think hey what if this person is under 21). However I personally don't have a problem with it(as someone under 21) as it's not real and I can reject the virtual alcohol.

However I've also had lots of experience online having to tell people hey wait I'm underage don't say that to me (before I was 18). However, not everyone is used or wants to do that. I know some people that would be uncomfortable with illegal stuff even if it's pretend (getting offered alcohol while under 21, other people under 21 drinking, etc).  Drugs that are illegal regardless of age would have similar issues, just effecting more people than the 18-21 population.

Just some things to consider.

Yeah, but I'd want to temper the illegal drugs with making it okay to discuss legal drugs and medications - such as someone discussing their depression treatment. For many of us, spanking is just one tool in the woodshed of behavioral and mental health :)

On alcohol, I'm mostly okay with it, though drunken/abusive behavior wouldn't be tolerated of course.

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56 minutes ago, Zhev said:

I could see a problem with people under 21 "being offered alcohol" even if it is only virtual(as people tend not to think hey what if this person is under 21). However I personally don't have a problem with it(as someone under 21) as it's not real and I can reject the virtual alcohol.

However I've also had lots of experience online having to tell people hey wait I'm underage don't say that to me (before I was 18). However, not everyone is used or wants to do that. I know some people that would be uncomfortable with illegal stuff even if it's pretend (getting offered alcohol while under 21, other people under 21 drinking, etc).  Drugs that are illegal regardless of age would have similar issues, just effecting more people than the 18-21 population.

Just some things to consider.

The USE of some drugs is illegal.  Discussion of them is not.  

I can't fathom people being uncomfortable with something which has no reality, but then there are a lot of people out there who seem to take such things far more seriously than I do.

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On 2/21/2019 at 1:46 PM, Drooaygah said:

Alright gang, being as the site is under new management, I have broached some subjects with Child of Light.  She suggested I post this one here.  So here we go.

For what possible reason is there a prohibition against making a reference to drugs or alcohol in the chatroom?  I myself got booted for 30 minutes awhile back, for the crime of saying I was having a drink and offering same to some others.  That's right gang - I typed into a chatroom that I was offering people an alcoholic drink.  Do I really have to point out that a "virtual" drink is not the same as an actual one?  That writing about drinking alcohol is not the same as drinking alcohol?  I've never heard of anyone being put in the tank for saying online that they were drunk.  

In case the argument is that such discussion might offend someone's sensibilities, allow me to point out that there is NO prohibition against discussing politics, and I have seen the chat explode into a firestorm because someone said something pro- or anti- Trump, Clinton, Obama, etc.  A prohibition against political discussion would frankly make sense to me.  A prohibition against saying "I'm having a martini - anyone else want one?" does not.

Child of Light has said that she's checking with a lawyer on the legalities around this, when people under 21 might be in the chat room.  I for one am not aware and can't imagine that there's laws against talking about alcohol in front of minors, anywhere, or against supplying virtual alcohol to virtual (or actual) minors.  Of course I suppose I could be wrong.

Unless one belongs to a particular religion, which prohibits use of alcohol, I can't see this as a moral issue, either.  And even if we accept that argument, do I need to point out this is, after all, a fetish/kink-related site?  And that the Jerry Falwells of the would consider this entire site horrendously immoral?

In the end, this is Child's site, and her choice.  But she wants to open the discussion up, so let's have it.  I say it's a silly rule that should go.  Let's hear what others have to say.

 

In my opinion, this has always been one of the stupidest rules that this site has come up with.  I was told at one point that it was illegal for such discussions.  If that's the case, I'd like to see some proof of that.  Many people have rules that pertain to alcohol and drugs, and yes even illegal drugs.  Not every illegal drug is illegal everywhere anymore.  I can understand not going completely overboard in chat with the entire conversation surrounding one of those topics but to be booted for a half an hour over mentioning having one is ridiculous!

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 I support abolishing the rule.

The fact is that discussions about the potential good and bad effect of various substances, physically and mentally, in the spanking context is not only legal (and I'm qualified to state that opinion) but potentially beneficial.  And that is true whether or not the substance in question is itself legal.

The moderators of course can intervene in particular instances just as they would with respect to any other topic in which the discusson went off the rails.

H.

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1 hour ago, Handily said:

 I support abolishing the rule.

The fact is that discussions about the potential good and bad effect of various substances, physically and mentally, in the spanking context is not only legal (and I'm qualified to state that opinion) but potentially beneficial.  And that is true whether or not the substance in question is itself legal.

The moderators of course can intervene in particular instances just as they would with respect to any other topic in which the discusson went off the rails.

H.

Hi, in purpose of just wanting to further the discussion -- what example topics do you feel that substances and spanking could correlate in a productive conversation together? :) I agree that anything related to adult spanking's in a context (that's legal) is beneficial to the site. Thank you again, for your input!

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Well, for example, someone might rationally ask whether smoking dope before being spanked creates helpful relaxation so that (a) less tense muscles enable the 'ee to endure more, and (b) sub-space is improved.  Someone might contrast that with having alcohol in advance on the basis that because of what alcohol does to blood flow bruising is increased and so dope is the better choice.  And of course other people might object on principle to 'ees doing anything at all but being focused on the experience, including being frightened of it.

All of the above is purely hypothetical but I find it hard to see anything wrong with such a discussion.

H.

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I agree that there are spanko related discussion to be had in relation to various mood altering substances, but I don't think the ban is needed.

I can understand the concerns that the site owner and admin would want to make sure they were not liable for any chat-related incidents.

and not to sidetrack the discussion, but I think its generally *not* a good idea to mix mood altering substances with spanking sessions.

except maybe post-session, then have at it. :D

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Gentle, I truly hate to bring this up but you yourself just gave reason to abolish that rule.

Safe and sober, right? Currently we can't even discuss that topic properly.

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With all due respect, Gentle, I'm with the Poison and the others on this all the way.  There's nothing insane, or necessarily unsafe (as long as good judgment is used) about having a drink, and it's legal almost everywhere in the world.  Some drugs are too, and even if we were talking about, say cocaine or heroin, there is no place in the Western world that I know of where people can be fined or jailed for TALKING about the use of them.  The legal argument just doesn't hold water.  

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2 hours ago, GentleDisciplinarian said:

If its illegal for you, dont discuss it. 

One word: Consent. If you are inebriated you cant consent. 

Gentle - again, with all due respect, this veers completely off-topic.

I'm not saying anyone should be telling anyone to drink.  I AM saying that having a rule that leads to someone being booted or banned because they make a statement in the chatroom such as "I'm having a martini - anyone else want one?"  

Again, with respect - the leap from someone chatting in the chatroom about drinking and someone in physical reality getting someone drunk and then having their way with them is gargantuan, to say the least.

 

 

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This topic somehow veered off course. I thought it was about discussing alcohol or having a drink in the chat room and it went to drinking and consent. I don't think anyone was talking about getting drunk and not being able to consent to a spanking. That's an entirely different conversation.

By discussing alcohol or drugs we are not telling someone to go out, get drunk and lose your ability to consent. We just want the ability to discuss adult subjects as a group in the chatroom.

The rule has been removed...end of story.

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