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What is meant by a 'good' spanking


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We often use the expression of getting a 'good spanking'. I've had almost a dozen adult spankings and they have all been good in their way, but I don't know, truly what is meant by getting a 'good spanking'.

Since everyone's limits are different, and certainly, what I can take depends on the day, a good spanking can't only be about how much it hurts. Does it have to do with how much we submit to it, or is it whether or not we have been pushed farther than before or than we could take ourselves?

EE's how do you know when you've been given a 'good' spanking? How do you know when you are going to get one?

ER's how do you know when you have given a 'good' spanking? What makes you tell someone they are going to get one?

LB

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You are correct in that "good" is hard to define. I see, at least, three different aspects of spanking. Discipline, stress release and "fun". As a spanker I would use good if I felt I was meeting

"What do you consider a good spanking to you?  Is it a warm, stinging bottom?, having your bottom feeling like it is on fire? or somewhere in between?", is something I  ask when getting to know someon

Sadly, had many of these growing up.  Trouble sitting 4 a week, bruised 4 who knows how long & no matter how much begging & pleading I did 2 change, 2 be better, that it was enough, it was onl

You are correct in that "good" is hard to define.

I see, at least, three different aspects of spanking. Discipline, stress release and "fun". As a spanker I would use good if I felt I was meeting the goals set for the spanking. 

If it is a discipline one, the spanking would be good (I prefer effective) if it resulted in the ee not repeating the same mistake (s), at least for a while!

If the goal is stress release then for sure I would like to hear after the session is ended that the stress had gone and the ee was in a totally different mindset. 

If one is having fun, like at a spanking party where ee's love to have a warm butt, then good would be a positive way to describe the experience if the spanking was given in an appropriate way for the ee to enjoy. 

Davyd 

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According to my ER, a "good spanking" means that he will make sure I won't soon repeat the offense.   In this case, that does mean I will most likely be unable to sit afterwards.   I am only spanked for discipline purposes.   I know I will be getting it because he tells me.  Our schedules are very different, so my spankings have to be scheduled at least a few days in advance. 

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"What do you consider a good spanking to you?  Is it a warm, stinging bottom?, having your bottom feeling like it is on fire? or somewhere in between?", is something I  ask when getting to know someone new.   "Somewhere in between", with a bit of an explanation is normally the answer.  Surprisingly, no one as told me, "Butt on fire" yet.

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Indeed, the whole purpose of a good spanking involves that the behavior won't be repeated.

I don't know that the long term meaning of a good spanking, is one hard and long.  I've heard sound spanking and I think it means about the same thing.

I think by this definition you can't have a good erotic or recreational spanking.

By that definition, Most of the spankings I give wouldn't qualify but it's not like I don't do them.

I an unusual move, not long ago, my wife ( a definite vanilla and pretty near angel) two good spankings in the span of 8 days. She knew she deserved them in both cases.

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8 hours ago, Davyd said:

You are correct in that "good" is hard to define.

I see, at least, three different aspects of spanking. Discipline, stress release and "fun". As a spanker I would use good if I felt I was meeting the goals set for the spanking. 

If it is a discipline one, the spanking would be good (I prefer effective) if it resulted in the ee not repeating the same mistake (s), at least for a while!

If the goal is stress release then for sure I would like to hear after the session is ended that the stress had gone and the ee was in a totally different mindset. 

If one is having fun, like at a spanking party where ee's love to have a warm butt, then good would be a positive way to describe the experience if the spanking was given in an appropriate way for the ee to enjoy. 

Davyd 

I always think ,,,Good Means ,,,EFFECTIVE,   like a good Sound spanking 

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A "good spanking" is much more simple for us. It is for us just one of those trigger sayings that we like to use, like " get your bottom tanned". or "till you cannot sit down". Guess this is pretty simplistic, but for us all spankings are good, so just a threat, trigger, turn on saying. But I understand. what you are asking about what is a good spanking, for me it is any spanking that both parties get from the spanking what they need or want.

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For me a "good" spanking and a "sound" spanking are the same thing. Since I self spank to relieve stress, a "good" and effective spanking is one where I fell relaxed afterwards, but also it hurts during, and I am sore sitting afterwards. I've had spankings where I am sore, but was not really relaxed at all, and conversely where I was more relaxed even though it did not really hurt as much. I would consider the latter effective but necessarily good". I guess the former would be a "good" but not effective spanking.

So I guess for me an effective spanking is one that accomplishes the goal while a good spanking, is one where my butt know it got spanked.

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Any spanking where I feel great after having been spanked. I am spanked semi-routinely, and as I have goals I'm working toward, I'm going to add punishment spankings to the mix including getting a quarterly punishment spanking even if I haven't done anything spankable. Partly to remind me of the kind of spanking I don't want very often, and partly because sometimes I need a really hard spanking just for the really sore butt.

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5 hours ago, wanttospank said:

A "good spanking" is much more simple for us. It is for us just one of those trigger sayings that we like to use, like " get your bottom tanned". or "till you cannot sit down". Guess this is pretty simplistic, but for us all spankings are good, so just a threat, trigger, turn on saying. But I understand. what you are asking about what is a good spanking, for me it is any spanking that both parties get from the spanking what they need or want.

Agreed.  Much in the area of "tan your hide" or "a spanking you won't forget."

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On 10/21/2018 at 10:01 PM, FtWorthOTK55 said:

"What do you consider a good spanking to you?  Is it a warm, stinging bottom?, having your bottom feeling like it is on fire? or somewhere in between?", is something I  ask when getting to know someone new.   "Somewhere in between", with a bit of an explanation is normally the answer.  Surprisingly, no one as told me, "Butt on fire" yet.

Bottom on fire, for sure. A good spanking begins when you want it to stop. 

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7 hours ago, scorch said:

Bottom on fire, for sure. A good spanking begins when you want it to stop. 

Yeah, I’d agree with that.  To me, it’s hard enough that my ee will definitely have some sitting down issues and would still be sore at least the next day. 

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Sadly, had many of these growing up.  Trouble sitting 4 a week, bruised 4 who knows how long & no matter how much begging & pleading I did 2 change, 2 be better, that it was enough, it was only enough when HE thought so (then a little more 2 make sure).

For some reason, had trouble learning some lessons bc I wud repeat certain offenses which resulted in harder & longer (ie more severe) 'sound' spankings next time.

All these years later & i think I still havent learned some of those lessons?

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27 minutes ago, Dark Rose said:

Sadly, had many of these growing up.  Trouble sitting 4 a week, bruised 4 who knows how long & no matter how much begging & pleading I did 2 change, 2 be better, that it was enough, it was only enough when HE thought so (then a little more 2 make sure).

For some reason, had trouble learning some lessons bc I wud repeat certain offenses which resulted in harder & longer (ie more severe) 'sound' spankings next time.

All these years later & i think I still havent learned some of those lessons?

I’m sorry to hear that.  I know you’ve brought it up before, but I can’t image doing that to a kid. 

Oddly, or not, I can see that with an adult who both understands where he/she screwed up and voluntarily takes the spankings. 

I’m kind of amazed that, given your childhood, you’d find your way over here, but I’m glad you did.  You present a unique perspective. 

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49 minutes ago, Dark Rose said:

Sadly, had many of these growing up.  Trouble sitting 4 a week, bruised 4 who knows how long & no matter how much begging & pleading I did 2 change, 2 be better, that it was enough, it was only enough when HE thought so (then a little more 2 make sure).

For some reason, had trouble learning some lessons bc I wud repeat certain offenses which resulted in harder & longer (ie more severe) 'sound' spankings next time.

All these years later & i think I still havent learned some of those lessons?

How terrible! I would never advocate doing that to a kid … or even a consenting adult, though there are probably some folks out there who enjoy being bruised. 

Glad to have you here. 

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Wait....don't get me wrong, it was not abuse in any way.  I'm sure 2 me at the time it seemed like the spanking was going on 4ever but I was a troubled, mischievous kid & TOTALLY deserved it.  

Depending on offense severity just meant hand, paddle, belt etc. 

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1 hour ago, dmirk said:

Yeah, I’d agree with that.  To me, it’s hard enough that my ee will definitely have some sitting down issues and would still be sore at least the next day. 

Do you think most people would define “bottom on fire” simply as a more intense, unbearable stinging? That’s pretty much the way I see it, at least. For me, the line between sting and fire is crossed at the point where I truly want it to stop and will be pushed to crying if it goes on long enough.

And if I need to be punished, that regrettably is what needs to happen.

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I think you have a pretty good handle on it. 

Do you have a safe word at least once you’re beyond the point of tolerance?

 I’m getting that your spankings are strictly punishment. 

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In agreement with many of the descriptions given here.  Effective, long, hard, lasting soreness, stress relieving, good feeling, etc all define in different ways the term 'good'.  In another light, good could mean well executed, uninterrupted (like phone or visits), complete and satisfying for both parties.  For us, say for a discipline spanking...good for me means I truly regret having committed that offense and will strive not to commit it again.  For her it would mean she has successfully improved my behavior and made me repent.   

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2 hours ago, dmirk said:

I think you have a pretty good handle on it. 

Do you have a safe word at least once you’re beyond the point of tolerance?

 I’m getting that your spankings are strictly punishment. 

I have a safeword unless (1) I fully trust the person spanking me, and (2) my spanking is punishment for misbehavior. Since I’m a big athletic guy, punishment spankings typically need to be administered by another bigger, preferably older gentleman who can successfully handle me. That is a rare find. When I am pinned otk and the implement (usually an oversized ping-pong shaped plywood paddle) is raining smacks on my bare behind and I can’t move, can’t do anything but lie here and get my spanking, and I would do anything to make the stinging stop, and yet the spanks keep falling and the sting builds into a fire that pushes me past the point of tears, until I am truly sorry and got what I deserved, then it is effective.

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11 minutes ago, dmirk said:

Finding big guys willing to do that must be as hard as finding female spankees for an M/F guy like me.  

Yes it’s mighty tough. However, when I do find the rare guy who can handle me physically, it makes me feel like a 14-year-old boy being spanked over his dad’s knee. That is kind of an amazing sensation.

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