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I want to ask

1. Does anyone else deal with anger or have some helpful insight?

2.  What do you do when you are feeling erratic and upset?

4. What do you think might help? (Don't answer 'Spanking'.)

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My ex wife exhibited this type of behavior.  Meds have helped, although that's a trial and error process that can actually make things worse until you find the right one(s).

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I deal with that all the time. For me, it's a symptom of depression/anxiety/stress. It's really only a symptom because, as a result of my childhood, I can't make myself talk about my feelings the way I need to (I can only get about halfway there on a good day, which is extremely rare) and bottle everything up, which becomes too much and makes me snap because I can't handle so much being bottled up. I have limits and it's extraordinarily rare that I'm not pushing (or, as is usually the case, far past) those limits. The only advice I can really offer is either get a punching bag and beat the living shit out of it to vent out the anger when it hits so you don't destroy property, or go see a highly rated mental health professional to talk with and see what they say.

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I don’t think this is something spanking will help you with. Please go to the campus counselling center and ask for help. There are different kinds of therapy that can give you specific coping skills. A professional can give you a better idea of what you are dealing with. Please go now before this interferes with your life which it really can if left unchecked. 

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2 hours ago, Aero said:

In my late-early morning searches of the forum discussions I have been trying to find postings about anyone dealing with temperament problems; obviously I have found nothing so decided to make my own and ask any willing participants with relevant information to give their two-cents.

 Recently I've been very aggravated, rather more so than my usual consistent irritated mood that has always lived with me. The slightest annoyance sets this fire within me and in 60 seconds it can turn to this hot, burning rage that I can't control. This was more of a problem in high school, but now I'm an adult in college. I do my best and have won some battles over my physical energy, but the odds are not fairing in my favor. For example, the retarded publisher who made one of my music books chose to make the spine bound, rather than spiral so turning the pages while playing piano is annoyingly difficult for something that should be simple. So while playing a song I was enjoying, the page kept reverting back to its original position and I snapped, ripped the page out and threw the book across the room. Now I've got to find some tape... anyway I've also broken my phone due to this and recently my brother's television.

I want to ask

1. Does anyone else deal with this or have some helpful insight?

2. If you have dealt with something like this what helped in the moment?

3. What do you do when you are feeling erratic and upset?

4. What do you think might help? (Don't answer 'Spanking', I have no Er and won't for sometime.)

Sounds like it might be ADHD. (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder)  Fits of rage are common. Look up the symptoms of ADHD and see if your behavior matches. If so, there is counseling and medications available. 

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On 8/19/2018 at 6:14 AM, a-mw-spanker said:

Sounds like it might be ADHD. (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder)  Fits of rage are common. Look up the symptoms of ADHD and see if your behavior matches. If so, there is counseling and medications 

mmmmmm

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29 minutes ago, Aero said:

Mmmm my brother and sister have ADHD, so I know what that looks like. I don't think its that, but regardless of its mental or physical I want to find out natural remedies others do to relax under stress. I've taken medications before for other things and hated it.

I’d suggest getting a full complete physical and start from there. Tell the doctor what’s going on and ask what your options are and that you’re uncomfortable being on meds. There might be something medically wrong you don’t know about. Just an observation. 

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7 minutes ago, a-mw-spanker said:

I’d suggest getting a full complete physical and start from there. Tell the doctor what’s going on and ask what your options are and that you’re uncomfortable being on meds. There might be something medically wrong you don’t know about. Just an observation. 

Mmm...I will definitely considered it when I get a new doctor.

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2 hours ago, Spanknutt said:

My ex wife exhibited this type of behavior.  Meds have helped, although that's a trial and error process that can actually make things worse until you find the right one(s).

Yeah that takes a toll on the body.

 

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2 hours ago, Rayanne Bostwick said:

I deal with that all the time. For me, it's a symptom of depression/anxiety/stress. It's really only a symptom because, as a result of my childhood, I can't make myself talk about my feelings the way I need to (I can only get about halfway there on a good day, which is extremely rare) and bottle everything up, which becomes too much and makes me snap because I can't handle so much being bottled up. I have limits and it's extraordinarily rare that I'm not pushing (or, as is usually the case, far past) those limits. The only advice I can really offer is either get a punching bag and beat the living shit out of it to vent out the anger when it hits so you don't destroy property, or go see a highly rated mental health professional to talk with and see what they say.

I understand that, bottling things up. I've done that since childhood as well... I've been dealing with similar issues of depression and anxiety since I was 9.    

Edited by Aero
Spelling Error

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4 hours ago, Aero said:

In my late-early morning searches of the forum discussions I have been trying to find postings about anyone dealing with temperament problems; obviously I have found nothing so decided to make my own and ask any willing participants with relevant information to give their two-cents.

 Recently I've been very aggravated, rather more so than my usual consistent irritated mood that has always lived with me. The slightest annoyance sets this fire within me and in 60 seconds it can turn to this hot, burning rage that I can't control. This was more of a problem in high school, but now I'm an adult in college. I do my best and have won some battles over my physical energy, but the odds are not fairing in my favor. For example, the retarded publisher who made one of my music books chose to make the spine bound, rather than spiral so turning the pages while playing piano is annoyingly difficult for something that should be simple. So while playing a song I was enjoying, the page kept reverting back to its original position and I snapped, ripped the page out and threw the book across the room. Now I've got to find some tape... anyway I've also broken my phone due to this and recently my brother's television.

I want to ask

1. Does anyone else deal with this or have some helpful insight?

2. If you have dealt with something like this what helped in the moment?

3. What do you do when you are feeling erratic and upset?

4. What do you think might help? (Don't answer 'Spanking', I have no Er and won't for sometime.)

" For example, the retarded publisher" -  I realize you are only 18 but this is 2018.  Do you not think you could have found a better word to use than that r word?  There are several members here that either have mental delays themselves or have children with them.  The word is extremely offensive!

As for your issues.  Nobody here can diagnose you and nobody here can give you the tools that you need without knowing a heck of a lot about you and your past, so to speak.  You need to find a counselor to work through your issues.  As far as medications are concerned, there are various ones that can be tried to see what one works for you.  I don't recall the name of the test but it was a simple cheek swab they did for my son.  It tells which meds will work best with your body.  Yes it's a long process but some cannot survive and get help without taking meds.

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7 minutes ago, Poison's said:

" For example, the retarded publisher" -  I realize you are only 18 but this is 2018.  Do you not think you could have found a better word to use than that r word?  There are several members here that either have mental delays themselves or have children with them.  The word is extremely offensive!

As for your issues.  Nobody here can diagnose you and nobody here can give you the tools that you need without knowing a heck of a lot about you and your past, so to speak.  You need to find a counselor to work through your issues.  As far as medications are concerned, there are various ones that can be tried to see what one works for you.  I don't recall the name of the test but it was a simple cheek swab they did for my son.  It tells which meds will work best with your body.  Yes it's a long process but some cannot survive and get help without taking meds.

I can edit it if you like, your right it's 2018 totally immature, but I also want to mention "retarded" to me doesn't mean anything towards those dealing with behaviors people have attributed that insulting word to. Simply an adjective like red or blue. Honestly I wasn't expecting a miracle answer, I just thought someone might say they mediate like 10 minutes a day or drink tea or something of the sort. No matter, still nice to hear other opinions.

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5 minutes ago, Aero said:

I can edit it if you like, your right it's 2018 totally immature, but I also want to mention "retarded" to me doesn't mean anything towards those dealing with behaviors people have attributed that insulting word to. Simply an adjective like red or blue. Honestly I wasn't expecting a miracle answer, I just thought someone might say they mediate like 10 minutes a day or drink tea or something of the sort. No matter, still nice to hear other opinions.

Would I prefer you edit it, tbh, yes.  That is all on you though.  I didn't take it as an insult to those that are mentally handicapped merely that you thought the guy was stupid.  Unfortunately the word is still used to describe individuals who while they may not have a "normal" brain capacity, they are far from stupid.

I've dealt with issues with my son for nearly four years now.  I can give you the coping mechanisms that they gave him if you wish.  Like I said though, without knowing your past and the issues you currently deal with (aside from anger), I can't tell you if any of them will help you or not.

My son is really against meds.  Heck, I'm against meds myself.  We just found that with the coping mechanisms, with the counseling, with the numerous psych stays, he just wasn't getting any better without them.

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Some thoughts.

1.The use of the word "retarded" is wrong but you're young and still making mistakes. Not an excuse I'll add but a chance to grow. I work with and alongside adults with learning difficulties. You should consider doing some voluntary work maybe ?

2.The book - You haven't said whether this was made for you specifically or if you're just annoyed that the product didn't match what you needed. If it's the first polite communication to ask for what you want is key and if that doesn't work - move on. If its just a book you got online - again move on.

3.I'm not going to be ( too ) judgemental here as I had some similar issue with taking out my temper on my own property a few years ago. My mentor at the time disciplined me for that and pointed out that I needed to find a more effective and appropriate way of expressing my anger. How you do that is up to you but personally I find going for walks, playing bass ( just for fun - I'm no Geddy Lee ! ) or listening to really aggressive music like grime or black metal helps me. 

4.Destroying others property - totally unacceptable - you need to apologise if you haven't already and make amends and pay.

5.I was in counselling for a long time and some of my issues were around anger as well. My therapist was pretty tough with me ( thank you ) and told me that whatever had happened to me in the past - it was now my responsibility to fix it. Angers a difficult emotion and I'm not going to do a Yoda and tell you to avoid it but you need find a way to channel it in a positive way.

 

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I don’t get this stuff about being against meds. If you had strep throat would you not take an antibiotic? Meds are not an answer in and of themselves but a solution in conjunction with therapy. 

You are looking for advice like meditate daily and you will mention it to a doctor when you get one?!!! Smh. There is no easy answer. 

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54 minutes ago, Wifey said:

I don’t get this stuff about being against meds. If you had strep throat would you not take an antibiotic? Meds are not an answer in and of themselves but a solution in conjunction with therapy. 

You are looking for advice like meditate daily and you will mention it to a doctor when you get one?!!! Smh. There is no easy answer. 

Yes, I'm at confusing point in my life where my health is now my responsibility while still trying to figure out what I want for my life; but unfortunately you're right there's no easy answer. I'm not actually going to go the doctor's, I don't have one. They made me leave my childhood doctor and sent a letter to find a new one since my age changed so still adjusting to the idea of if I even want to actively pursue medical visits. I've read meditation helps with a lot of different things so might just try that. Oh and the things about the meds is that they're aren't for physical illness, they effect your mind and the side effects affect your body. It varies depending.

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3 hours ago, Wifey said:

I don’t get this stuff about being against meds. If you had strep throat would you not take an antibiotic? Meds are not an answer in and of themselves but a solution in conjunction with therapy. 

You are looking for advice like meditate daily and you will mention it to a doctor when you get one?!!! Smh. There is no easy answer. 

Some people just react very, very poorly to chemical medications. I react badly to most (if they actually do anything at all), and as such, I have to look for natural alternatives quite often. Pain, for example. I have used pain medications so little in my life, yet no matter what I try, nothing actually works. Once in a blue moon, something I try will dim the pain slightly, but even morphine doesn't help, so if I want pain relief, I have no choice but to use natural/home remedies that don't involve any kind of chemicals (not counting ones naturally found in various plants), or sit there and suffer. That's just how my body is with most things; The only ones that actually work they way they're supposed to and don't make me suffer are medications for nausea. I can't take antibiotics for the same reasons, which one doctor threw a fit about because they tried to give me one that I had tried more than once before, in a lower dose, that just made my symptoms worse and a full course did nothing. Had to use natural, homeopathic ones to get rid of the infection.

 

TL;DR: Some people's bodies can't handle meds so those people refuse to use them to avoid unnecessary suffering.

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3 hours ago, Wifey said:

I don’t get this stuff about being against meds. If you had strep throat would you not take an antibiotic? Meds are not an answer in and of themselves but a solution in conjunction with therapy. 

You are looking for advice like meditate daily and you will mention it to a doctor when you get one?!!! Smh. There is no easy answer. 

Everyone is different but when it comes to meds for depression and bipolar, they make me feel nothing. Not as in they don't work. They take the depression away. They take the erratic highs and lows away. The problem... they take all feeling away. 

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You don't need medication.  You need to pause to think about what really makes you happy

 If the perceived problem is not really a problem, it does not require you to respond. 

Very few issues in life are so important that you must respond.  Spanking is totally not needed.

 

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2 hours ago, goodcontrol said:

You don't need medication.  You need to pause to think about what really makes you happy

 If the perceived problem is not really a problem, it does not require you to respond. 

Very few issues in life are so important that you must respond.  Spanking is totally not needed.

 

How do you know what this kid needs? If the perceived problem isn’t a problem..  what kind of nonsense is this?  

Aero, honey, please don’t let a bunch of strangers on a website give you this kind of info..  see a professional. Let him or her tell you what you need. Call your pediatrician for a referral or go to campus counseling. 

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Aero... Yeah, I would highly recommend looking into meditation.  It's helped millions of people, it is easy to learn (but takes a lifetime (s) to master), and best of all ---it's free!  Yee Ha!  I should have some links around here somewhere that offer quick immersion into it, if you're interested.  

I have had these experiences of instant rage as well, but just on a small number of occassions.  Each time I broke something of my own, and I felt really stupid because after all...it's not rational behavior.  It's nice if you can link back the chain of causation in your mind, so you can understand what triggered you.  Understanding the cause of the frustration will help you in the future to identify those critical situations and steer yourself away in a more productive direction.   Of course, it's highly more desirable to take your frustrations out on an inanimate object than a living creature, but your main goal is not letting yourself get to that level in the first place. 

Meditation, mindfulness, and understanding yourself and how you tick would be some areas to look into.  To help with this last area, CBT Therapy (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) is something you might want to investigate...basically a form of talk therapy with a psychologist. 

With your talent, smarts, and maturity level you should have no problem getting this licked!!  Your willingness to even talk about it and recognizing it as a problem already puts you ahead of the game.  :)

 

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I have dealt with the same level of  frustration & anger myself and let me say it’s not a easy and spankings is something that won’t truly help until you are able to get a better control of it yourself in my opinion you need to really find the base of all her anger where does it really steam from then you need realize that there is a problem  accept your problem and work toward resolving this problem I recommend therapy or a mentor if it was me I would rather have mentor that’s  specialize  In  anger management  That always believes in Corporal punishment

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