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This is not enough information to  be able to give advice.  As in any interpersonal relationship, communication is key.  Have they talked about this?  Does the Mentor have feeling for the mentee as well?  If not, will these feelings get in the way of what has been agreed to?  And, what kind of "feelings?"  Do you mean falling in love?  Because most mentees have feelings of some sort for (or at least a strong connection with) their Mentors, that is pretty normal.  After all, you don't let just anyone do it.

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I think that depends if you have a hard line about it and that's not what you're looking for. It's not uncommon that the person on either side wants to keep it as pure discipline; it's also not uncommon where one or both might be looking for someone. I would consider what you're ultimately looking for in this from your own perspective.

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18 hours ago, Spankedcheeks said:

So what happens if the mentee develops feelings for his or her mentor.... should they stop seeing each other? And stop working together. Just curious 

Feelings are bound to develop as a mentee and a mentor.  The question becomes, what type of feelings are you talking about here?  I'm assuming by you asking if the mentee should stop seeing them, you are referring to romantic type feelings.  That is definitely something that is going to depend upon the individuals involved and definitely needs to be discussed.  Some are okay with it, especially if they feel the same way and others are not!

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Okay so he is married and I told him about these feelings and he is perfectly okay with it  something just doesn't make sense. Like I could understand if he was single. But, knowing he is married and his mentee has feelings.....

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1 hour ago, Spankedcheeks said:

Okay so he is married and I told him about these feelings and he is perfectly okay with it  something just doesn't make sense. Like I could understand if he was single. But, knowing he is married and his mentee has feelings.....

Does he have romantic type feelings for you as well or you're unsure?

For some mentors, their mentee/s developing feelings for them isn't an issue.  As surprising as it is to some, it happens and yes even when that person is married.  It doesn't necessarily mean that they are not still in love with their partner or no longer want to be with them.  The mentors I know that are married, love their wife dearly!  For one reason or another, they have this want/need that just doesn't seem to go away.

He may have tried discussing it with his wife and it may not be something that she is interested in.  She may or may not know what he is doing.  Some are okay with their partner getting their needs filled elsewhere.  I'd imagine that'd be much easier if they fully understood it.  Some don't agree with going outside of the marriage and others are perfectly okay with it, especially if things are not sexual.

Some mentees will not work with someone who is married.  Still others do not see a problem with it.  This is where you have to do some serious thinking and communicating with your mentor.  You have to decide if you're okay with him being married.  On a good note, at least in my opinion, it speaks volumes to me that he told you he was married.  In my experience, most will leave that bit out!

 

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Is some ways, it may not be a bad thing that he is married - that can help establish a boundary where he can be a real "mentor" and not try to be something else.  I guess the next question is, does his wife know what he does?  If so, and she is ok with it, that's great. If not, I would consider it to be cheating.

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4 hours ago, Spanknutt said:

Is some ways, it may not be a bad thing that he is married - that can help establish a boundary where he can be a real "mentor" and not try to be something else. 

That may or may not be true, whether the mentor's wife knows about the mentoring/spanking part or not. There are many "real mentors", or that purport to be, that have no clear boundaries themselves and/or for themselves, much less being capable of "establishing" boundaries for their mentee. I have seen this from both sides, so to speak. Obviously this is not true of all mentors, but just something to keep in mind.

4 hours ago, Spanknutt said:

I guess the next question is, does his wife know what he does?  If so, and she is ok with it, that's great. If not, I would consider it to be cheating.

Just for clarification SN, are you saying that you consider it cheating on your spouse in terms of the spanking/mentoring or only if it becomes sexual in nature?

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7 minutes ago, ReadyOrNot said:

That may or may not be true, whether the mentor's wife knows about the mentoring/spanking part or not. There are many "real mentors", or that purport to be, that have no clear boundaries themselves and/or for themselves, much less being capable of "establishing" boundaries for their mentee. I have seen this from both sides, so to speak. Obviously this is not true of all mentors, but just something to keep in mind.

Just for clarification SN, are you saying that you consider it cheating on your spouse in terms of the spanking/mentoring or only if it becomes sexual in nature?

If "mentoring" means coaching - helping, giving advice, setting goals, etc. then I don't see where a spouse has to be in the loop - Life Coaches do this.  But, if "mentoring" includes activity of an intimate nature (I would include spanking) without a spouse's knowledge, then I would consider it cheating.  

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