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AfterGeometry

some Chatroom observations to consider

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I am observing the chatroom right now, and Main chat has been completely silent for more than an hour.  However, the Play Room has five or six members and they are all actively chatting.  

Just some observations, not necessarily drawing conclusions:

- New members, from what I know, are not aware two separate rooms exist and may judge the evening action in Main to be what is normal.  This could cause new members to give up and bail if they think the community is dead. 

-To my knowledge, the Play Room was created because some folks were tired of food fights and bratting going on in Main.  My philosophy on the matter is 'something is better than nothing.'  By forcing members to all co-mingle in the same space, perhaps this can lead to better conversations. It will at least have a better shot attracting curious newbies who then may add something to the convo, and so not be turned off by the apparent lack of activity and morgue-like atmosphere.   

- We should be able to self-police, so if the conversation being had in Main is not up to everybody's standards, then that should be discussed and sorted out then & there amongst the members. I'm not sure it helps the cohesion of the community when we can't even chat together in the same space. 

- Ultimately my point is Something is better than Nothing, and I would rather try to engage with a silly bratting chatroom than a completely baren and silent one.  

Sorry for the rambling, just needed to share....thanks

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Playroom? I’m a longtime member and didn’t know about it. I was away from SN for a while for family reasons and now that I’m back I’ve been wondering why chat has been so dead. 

So there’s a secret place that only those in the know realise exists? 

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       Hey Wifey, when you click on the CHAT tab, look at the left hand side where the MESSENGER column is.  Below it are two tabs,  PRIVATE and CHAT ROOMS.  Click on that tab and you’ll see 3 selections which describe the room and how many are in it.  As before, to close out of that column, click on MESSENGER and block the left panel...

       Also, since you were away, there are 2 other features besides BROWSE and CHAT.  They are CLUBS and BLOGS.  Check it all out when you get a chance...

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15 hours ago, AfterGeometry said:

We should be able to self-police, so if the conversation being had in Main is not up to everybody's standards, then that should be discussed and sorted out then & there amongst the members. I'm not sure it helps the cohesion of the community when we can't even chat together in the same space. 

In my experience, unfortunately not everyone can do that.  Seems like an easy enough concept but yea, I've seen it go bad ways multiple times. 

People not bothering to say hi or respond to someone when they do say something doesn't help either. 

Then of course you have the ones who merely lurk or constantly stay in PMs. Sorta defeats the purpose of being in the chat imo but to each their own. 

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Where do you see this on the phone?

 

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I tried to add a screen shot from my phone but can't figure out how to post it. On mine, it shows the tabs for each room on the bottom. 

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I feel like AfterGeometry we should go back to just one main room. This does many things one I causes people to be able to communicate with each other like said some chat is better than dead silence. Number two it brings a sense of community not isolation by saying you only can speak one way in main chat.  I thought we are a community. As a Community we need to lift each other up and multiple chat rooms cause isolation. I can't remember when the main chat room at a meaningful Spanking conversation. 

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Having been here for 9 years or so I've seen a lot of change in chat. Having one room use to be a good thing. You could go in and there was always good conversations going on...spanking related and non-related. Then it changed. You would be in there with several people having a good conversation and along would come the games. People throwing glitter, role playing and all sorts of stuff. It became hard to keep up with any conversation when you had to read through the games and playing. Chat went to hell. So, I think it's a good idea to keep an area for serious conversation and an area for those who wish to role play, play games or have silly fun. Not everyone is looking for the same thing.

Chat has turned sad these days. it's almost impossible to get anyone to talk or have a real conversation. Everyone sits in PMs or they say hi and that's about it. Kind of takes away the point of chat. I miss the days when the newbies came in to ask questions and we would have a long ongoing chat about it or when we would share experiences. Some of us have been involved for a long time and we are a fountain of information or we are someone to bounce ideas off of.

If chat were more open like it use to be people would feel more comfortable about coming in and asking questions or having a real conversation.

 

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This is probably an unpopular opinion, I know people used to go nuts at all the hellos and greeetings, but I miss the notifications when people come and go. When it went to this version, if you're on mobile, you can't see when people enter or leave unless you open the users which hides the chat window. As annoying as the constant greeting/goodbyes were, it made people feel welcome and noticed. I think it made it easier to start conversations, even if they were interrupted. It also made chat seem friendlier. When we had to switch chats (as I understood it, the old one wasn't supported or something, short memory), it made a big difference I think. It wasn't just dividing rooms that made the shift. 

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So I've got a question. The only complaint I heard concerning chat before the change was the constant playing. We're there other issues?

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I'm going to give my reasons why I'm not as active in main chat these days for whatever it's worth.  I may have been a spanko since birth I'm not 100% sure on that as I've had the interest since I can remember at a young age. However, there have been a few instances that have cemented the desire in my mind.  These instances I'm not allowed to discuss because I was underage so I can't really talk about my past.  Spanking in the present for me has hit a wall so there isn't much there to discuss either.  Sure I can talk about what I'd like it to be but that seems like perpetuating a fantasy with zero chance of it becoming reality which doesn't seem healthy to me, or at least not very beneficial.  So the end result is I'm basically removed from any real conversation about spanking.  

I'm not saying we shouldn't have rules but at the same you're removing people from the conversation who may be perfectly capable of talking about situations in an appropriate manner because of a few who push and cross the line.

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I have been struggling with a way to say this because I don't want to upset anyone, but if I do, I apologize in advance.  I see a lot of people complain about the quality of chat in the main room, most of whom don't come to chat or if they do its only briefly.  I have seen periods of intense bratting, plenty of drama (which I have sometimes been a part of if you can believe that) and plenty of nonsense and goofing off. But for the past year at least this has been almost nonexistent compared to the past.  It's mostly a blank page at this point which is occasionally broken up with greetings and talk about the weather.

Instead of just saying that chat isn't as good as it used to be, too much bratting is going on, etc. why not spend more time there trying to stimulate the conversation?  Besides, it's pretty obvious that anyone that thinks bratting and role-playing are hindering on topic chat hasn't been there in quite some time because it rarely happens these days if at all.  The drama is at the lowest it's been since I joined in 2015.  If you want on topic chat now is the time, it's a blank slate so do something to help foster productive spanking discussion instead of just staying away and saying how terrible it has become. If it's not what you want then help to steer it that way.  There are actually some very good on topic conversations in there from time to time but you have to be around for more than a second to see them.  Ask someone a question about their situation, or tell about yours.  Tell how you were able to make spanking work in your relationship, etc. Some people may not feel comfortable enough to participate but they may still get something from the conversation even while observing.  

That is my take on the chat situation, do with it what you will.

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Free... I'd like to think we have talked enough to where this will not offend you...speak your mind and don't worry about who you will piss off!

Let me say that I'm guilty of what you are describing.  I don't try anymore when I do go into chat.  There have been times I've tried to bring up topics and get hardly any responses.  I'm honestly not sure anyone is even in the main room at that time.  After a bit of seeming like I was talking to myself or getting little feedback, I felt it was a waste of my time.  I guess I can't really sit and complain if I'm not doing anything myself to change it now.  

Back to the main topic though...I do think the multiple rooms causes more problems than it is really worth. 

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There are times when chat is dead and you can't start a conversation no matter what, I certainly agree there.  But there will always be those times no matter how well it's going.  I don't really have much to say about the three rooms because I only use main.  In the beginning I did notice that Play Space seemed to leave the main room deserted but as time goes on I think fewer people actually use that room and I do think that it has played a huge part in the reduction of bratting and roleplay in the main room so I can't say that it does not serve a purpose.

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I'm actually really grateful for multiple rooms- there are times when I'm in the mood to just blow off steam and be silly with people.  At the same time others are having a good conversation, which it would be rude to fill the room with ridiculous teasing.  Then other times I simply enjoy a good conversation or have a question and want input- I know I can go there and get a real conversation.  

The silence now bothers me at times, but the times when I've asked a question or thrown in a thought- it's always been answered and people start talking.  If I just say "hello, how are you, how's the weather..." it's tends to be silent.  If we treat the general room as a greeting room..that's all it'll be.  

Do you guys think a set time for spanking conversation to happen would help?  So we have the general chat as it is- but throw in a scheduled time once or twice a week when there's a topic or simply open for any spanking conversation..?  That may help eliminate the "hit or miss" of connecting with people

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3 hours ago, Bha said:

Do you guys think a set time for spanking conversation to happen would help?  So we have the general chat as it is- but throw in a scheduled time once or twice a week when there's a topic or simply open for any spanking conversation..?  That may help eliminate the "hit or miss" of connecting with people

From my understanding, this was how chat started. I know it's impossible to choose a good time for everyone with all the time zones represented, but I think it's a great idea. 

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We actually plan on doing hosted chat groups in the near future :) 

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1 hour ago, Child of Light said:

We actually plan on doing hosted chat groups in the near future :) 

 This is definitely needs to be in chat so that people can be active in the discussion, but I would also love to see those chats be archived. Not all chats, just the ones that fall into that category. It would be lovely to see what all was said even if we can't log on at that particular time.

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4 hours ago, gingerlee said:

 This is definitely needs to be in chat so that people can be active in the discussion, but I would also love to see those chats be archived. Not all chats, just the ones that fall into that category. It would be lovely to see what all was said even if we can't log on at that particular time.

You've hit on one of my pet peeves about chat, which is one of the reasons why I never participate. Chat is very limited--it's hit or miss who participates, and the only people who get any benefit, even if it's an awesome discussion, are those that happen to be in the chat room. I think the forums are much more suitable for serious discussion--everybody can participate, and everybody can see the discussion. People can also be far more thoughtful about their responses. So this whole discussion seems kinda pointless to me--why worry about whether the separate play chat makes the main chat more or less useful for serious discussion, when chat is inherently not suited to it, regardless of how many rooms there are? And this isn't specific to this site, by any means. I ran a DD site for 15 years, and one of the first decisions I made was not to incorporate chat, based on the effect I had seen from chat on another site.

I know there are plenty of people who think chat is really important feature, including probably everybody commenting in this thread, so it's probably best to just ignore me. But personally I just don't understand the attraction, and especially not when the stated intent is to foster serious discussion.

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Doug, you are correct that the forum is better for serious discussions.  It does allow everyone to see and participate at their leisure.  Where chat excels is at truly getting to know an individual.  You can learn more about a person in a 30 minute chat than you could in a month of forum posts.  It's easier to get to know the real person, not necessarily the edited and polished version that may exist in the forums. I believe they both serve a purpose.

Wanting to have more participation and more on topic discussion in chat has little to do with the forums.  I don't think anyone here would argue with you that the forums are better in that regard but it would be nice to have more that in chat as well.

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Although I agree that more serious, contemplative conversations can happen on the forum, I also think thaat things come up in a "casual" conversation that peeople wouldn't bother to post sometimes. 

 

Also, I 1000% agree with FinallyFree that the chatroom is where you really get to know people and make friends. With the exception of 2 or 3 people that I got to know through private messages instead, many of my close friends and support system, I found in chat. 

The first time I was on SN, I didn't ever go into the chatroom. I am sad that I missed out on some great people. When I came back, I went into chat because I was bored. The rest is history. Now you can't get rid of me. 

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the chat room dynamics ebb and flow but I think we've been stuck in "lurker" mode for too long. can't count the number of times I've seen 12+ people in the chat room and no one saying a peep. it's ok, that's how things things go. I've made lots of great spanko friendships on this site both in and out of chat, and everyone has been supportive when I've needed support.

if there was a say to have a "topic" for the chat room it might help things, but then again it might not, who knows.

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