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“I need to be spanked.” These are the first words we see on this website. The reasons, fellow spankos, are as many as we have members. But AFTERCARE, this is a need also.
After a punishment spanking, it provides comforting reassurance that the disciplinarian cares for his/her partner. The illustration below is a great example of this.
What are this groups thoughts about aftercare?
 

86AD0339-865A-4A9D-8855-48C4108589F8.jpeg

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Illustration is exactly what I like to do after a spanking.  

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       Many aspects of spanking have been written and chatted about here, but I feel aftercare is a very important but almost neglected topic.  I’m glad it finally became a subject to be shared...

       When people meet and get to know each other’s preferences, many worthwhile things get aired and (hopefully) agreed upon.  But what happens after the spanking is just as vital and shouldn’t be neglected.  Since it can be as intimate as the spanking, I’m sure at least one party has some thoughts on the matter.  A big hug?  A soft kiss on the forehead?  Snuggling and cuddling?  Will a lecture be given?  Things to think over and discuss.  The spanking does affect how we feel (aside from the obvious) and these needs should be dealt with.  First of all, there is the aspect of calming the spankee down and in what way.  Also the aspect of forgiving the ee and reassuring them that the er does indeed care about them.  Is there more to this?  I think so, but it dpends on the dynamic that exists between the er and ee.   It’s not a “one size fits all” event as we’re all geared differently.  Communication is the key here to insure an outcome that both parties will be satisfied with...

       Since this is a topic I was thinking of starting myself, I’m really looking forward to everyone else’s thoughts...

 

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I've had sessions with and without aftercare.  Personally, I notice a big difference.  If I don't get that emotional closeness with a spanker, I feel lost.  I do recover but aftercare helps me to gradually transition; reestablish some kind of equilibrium or balance to which I feel complete and in a good place.  

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In our relationship, we use aftercare for sensual, fun, stress relief and maintenance spankings.  Not to leave out the popular, 'because I felt like spanking you' spankings.  I do agree with the effect of the aftercare mentioned by others posting.  However, we never use aftercare for discipline spankings.  She delivers the spanking objectively and abruptly leaves me alone to reflect on my behavior and the price paid for it.  A short amount of time after that period is the forgiveness and reassuring.  I still feel the love and the understanding of being punished for my betterment.  As someone else related, everyone and every relationship is different.  This method was discussed and agreed upon and is working well for us.   

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Hi @cowboy

I think you do get aftercare, after your punishment spankings, you just get some time to think about your punishment first.

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After my spankings, I have an hour and a half drive home. The one time I was summarily dismissed I had an even longer drive because I wasn't going home. I felt numb most of the drive and that turned into frustration and some anger. In terms of punishment, it was that - perhaps worse than the strapping that I got (which was well deserved BTW). But there was emotional fallout that I would not want to have to deal with again.

It is very true that everyone's needs are different.

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       That’s truly sad, Bloomer.  My heart goes out to you.  Nobody should have to go through something like that...

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Sorry you had to go through that long drive after being punished.  I guess the way you put my aftercare, following a time period is another way to look at it.  That time period is normally about an hour.  It gives me time to reflect on my offense, the punishment and the fact I know I deserved it and thankful she loves me enough to administer the discipline I need.  Thanks for the note.

cowboy

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Aftercare is a primary integral part of the disciplinary process. Aftercare essentially allows the young lady to understand that the discipline wasn't about her. It was about her best interest & welfare. The negative reinforcement to an incident, as a deterrent, which is to hopefully correct a temporary error in judgment which was made, which hopefully will not be repeated. Also that all is forgiven & the slate has been wiped clean with an opportunity to start over.

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Hi Everyone - Thanks for your kind words. I need to be fair and add something to my earlier post. My regular mentor is a mom-figure. I had earned my punishment and it was serious enough that the dad-figure was brought in to deal with it. He is very strict. I don't know if he was used to someone who had a long drive or not. If I had lived ten minutes away, I would have considered this part of the punishment. But ten minutes away would have meant that I would get to see my mentor more often than I do, which made it very hard to take.That night 'mom' spent a fair bit of time talking through it with me, so I wasn't left completely hanging.

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I'm not sure if this thread is still live, since the last contribution was in June last year! But here goes.

After a spanking, especially if it's a severe one, and spankee is often very vulnerable, and sometimes rather disconnected from the real world. It is vital that the spanker stays with her until she has regained her stability and is able to face reality again.

What she needs may vary, but in my experience she will want to be held and comforted for a while, after which I find a pleasant restaurant meal restores the relationship to normality. I would never want to leave a spankee while she was in  the slightest distressed.

By the way  for she in the above read "he or she" - I have no experience spanking men, but I would expect that much the same applies.

 

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