What Do You Tell Yourself When Times Get Hard?

[Bobbyt42]

Often the trouble in all this comes unbidden... in the wee hours when the glass of wine has had its effect and the pending day ahead crashes in to otherwise peaceful and oh so necessary rest time. It's useful at such moments to ask ones self...ok..it's two am on a Tuesday here in February 2018.....what exactly can I do about this right now... not generally or eventually...but right now..this moment. Then deliberately make the effort to Segway into a more peaceful thought pattern. ...even a joyful post spanking hug remembrance ... I find it helps in this oh so intrusively stressful world to acertively let go of the toxic stress and give yourself permission to just be. Just for that moment. Let peace wash over you just that brief moment. Much more able to do later what you must when you've taken the moment you need afore. Akin to the surrender in taking a well deserved spanking. It's about letting go.  Pardons please for such carrying in.

[beyond_my_thoughts]

I'm relatively a lot less older than most people here and hence my experience with life is still budding. But, I would lying if I say I had not faced any hard times in my life yet. It may not be hard for you at your age and at your experience, but it is hard for me.

What did I do?
I don't share my thoughts and emotions to anyone, I don't think people around me are much good in portraying empathy. I just ponder about the situation, pros and cons, and I arrive in a silly conclusion myself. And the reason behind it being silly is because my conclusion will always be "DO NOTHING".

I've a cross a bridge as it comes kind of attitude which is beneficial in some situations but a real killer in others.

When times get hard, I just hope to myself that it passes away soon with doing minimal damage to me and those with me.

I also try to divert my mind through internet mostly.

[Jace1414]

Sounds like you handle things well with what you are doing.  I try to spend time in the forest hiking or biking to get my spirits up a little when times are hard.  Exercise gets your endorphins going, so it helps. 

 

[spankmeplese]

I don't tell myself anything exactly, but I have a tendency to figuratively put my head down, push my shoulder forward, and keep going until I've gotten through the hard time. Unless I want to let myself become suicidal, I really don't see any other option than to push through. And I know that I will eventually figure out a solution to the problem, so I trust in my ability to do that.

 

[12HolePaddle]

I do and have done many things to cope. Out here in the hills the ppl can be left behind with a 5 min drive in any direction. Communing w the forest can be MUCH easier than "society" or "civilization".

Two- tunes. Depending on the level of stress. If you can dig it check out YouTube or archive.org for moe. Live moe. The build-and-kill jams will match your intensity. (I'll touch on this in a moment). 

Finally, I find the best- for me- is through my art. Stand-up. Not performing necessarily but writing. Humor has always been my No 1 defense. It helps to simply write or say what's bothering you. When you acknowledge the demon and speak its name, you bring it into the light of day and see it for the "man behind the curtain" that it is. Making fun of it psychologically puts you above the problems and gives perspective that it's more conquerable than you may think. 

The intensity thing I mentioned- no matter the emotion it's important to realize it's part physiological. So "out-physiology" it. In all of the things I mentioned there is one constant- adrenaline. When you feel it building, help build. After the rush your body and brain will naturally crash and in that relaxation is wisdom. It may seem like fighting fire w fire, because it kind of is. But it works. If you're too spent to react badly, then there's room for other ideas. 

[12HolePaddle]

Give it a shot. First ones free, you'll be back ?????

[candyapplered]

On 2/21/2018 at 7:33 PM, bi_kellie said:

I'll often tell myself "This is my life now". When times are tough, they're usually tough relative to how things were. So it's a way of acknowleding that things have changed, and of bracing yourself for what you have to deal with.

I like this. I find myself saying this lately.

[shygurl]

We all have different ways of coping with life and its stresses. Different stresses take different coping skills. I have learned as I have gotten older to take life one day at a time. Try not to look forward too far or go back too far.

I have some major stress in my life right now. Each day I try to set it aside at least for awhile. I use different things to work through it or cope with it.

The obvious is to go to my boyfriend seeking hugs, solace and someone to talk to and of course the all familiar stress release spanking. With both of us having heavy schedules right now, that doesn't always work.

I live in a rural community so walking in the woods is usually my first choice. I walk along the creek or the river. At times I drive 2 hours and head to the beach. Water has a calming effect on me as does nature in general. Sometimes I walk for hours, other times I bring a book or a pen and tablet.

My second choice is writing. It helps me to put everything on paper. I can go back and read it and often times think that things aren't so bad. Or I am able to look at it and come up with solutions. If nothing else, I empty my heart and soul and it gives me somewhat of a release.

Cooking is a passion of mine. So my kitchen is a place of comfort for me. When I am stressed I bake all kinds of things or I find something that is difficult to cook and takes a lot of preparation. Thankfully I have a large family to eat it all and friends to pass it off to because this is a frequent occurrence at my house. I rarely eat any of it. haha.

I have two sons, a daughter-in-law, two grandsons (2 & 5) and a baby-on-the-way in my house right now. Playing with my grandsons and doing things with my family keeps my  mind off of things. There is nothing more pure, more delightful and more heart healing than having my 2 year old grandson throw his arms around me and give me a big sloppy kiss. Talk about a stress reliever!!

There are also times when you FLAT can't do anything about it. It's something out of your control. It's hard, but you have to set it aside and move on. You have to realize you've done your best. That's a hard one for me, but I am learning to do it.

Hope you find something that works for you.

[taylor80]

That one day none of this will matter anymore.

[12HolePaddle]

I saw this thread was older. And starred. I did not remember posting in it and was scared to look. 

Phew. Thank Gods I wasn't a jackass. Something must've told me...

[HeartnBottomWarmer]

When you hit the bottom of the barrel, things can only get better. So look for the bottom....

[selfsp12]

A phrase that always come to mind for me, to help me remember that what ever problems I have, there are many many others with far worse, so appreciate what you have today. That phrase is "Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, Today is a gift". I try to focus on the great gifts in my life, family being first and foremost.

[alyssandra]

I take solace in quotes.  You may recall the movie Meet the Robinsons, and there's a great quote from Walt Disney right before the end credits: "Around here, however, we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things… and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths."

[ukspanko]

I just tend to put my head down and get on with my day to day life. Having been through long ( years at times ) periods of depression I've learned to go with the flow. Not that I get stressed. I do. I'm just better at hiding it. I quite like that Abraham Lincoln quote - "This too shall pass" - although somedays it seems to take forever..

[OnlySolutions]

“Hard times come and hard times go and
Hard times come and hard times go and
Hard times come and hard times go and
Hard times come and hard times go
Yeah, just to come again

Bring on your wrecking ball”

From Bruce Springsteen’s Wrecking Ball.  Much of the album is about going through really tough times. It’s been an inspiration to me.  This song is about (partly) how we all go through hard times, it’s part of the natural cycle of life and just knowing it helps a little, and then saying “f____ it, I’m going to face it and do my best, cause this is your time and doing you best, well it just helps get you to a better place and low and behold the hard times go...

best of luck... we all face them!

 

[Detroit Pete]

'When the going gets tough, the tough get going  Richard Nixon. (And John Belushi in Animal House).

[dmirk]

On 2/22/2018 at 8:53 AM, Child of Light said:

“This too shall pass”

Is my “go too” phrase with a lot of meditation. Yoga seems to calm me down quite a bit. 

 

Late to see this, but that's the way to look at it.

It shows up in Buddhist writing and practice, as well as in other places and spiritualities. 

Live in the present moment.  Two seconds ago is in the past.  Two seconds from now, you don't know what happens.  Stayed anchored in the moment, and be aware that things change in the blink of an eye.

I do look at the future optimistically, but there's no basis one way or the other.

The only thing I more or less guess in the future is likely to be longer here on earth for most people here than for me.  That's an observation,  Not a complaint.  Happens to everyone.

[alyssandra]

"The more you like yourself, the less you are like anyone else, which makes you unique."  - Walt Disney

[Accountability]

Great topic.

I usually tell myself: "You've been through many hardships and always manage to overcome. Things will be fine."

[dmirk]

Lots of wisdom here.  Beck in my days of middle management when one of the other middle managers would get stressed out, I'd say "Do what you can do and don't do what you can't do."

Living on the present moment and counting things you've overcome is great advice.

[ukspanko]

That I survived someone trying to kill me at 18 and that despite thinking I'm worthless inside I have a lot of strength.

[Redandmore]

I think some previous posters brought up my Big Three on hard times.

This too shall pass... The Serenity Prayer... All things are possible...

Excellent Topic and comments.

You have ENCOURAGED  me... ?

 

[Jaded]

once you’ve hit rock bottom, the only way is up. 

[MrIntensity]

'Am I really going to let this setback ruin my life?'

[Gallist]

I have struggled with depression for most of my life.  Years ago I came up with an anthem to express how I feel when I am the most depressed.   It goes like this: "I'm sad, but I'm not angry.  I'm hurting, but I will survive."