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As a spankee?


Midnight

As a spankee?  

129 members have voted

  1. 1. How often are you directing the spanking

    • 0% Spanker does what he wants
      68
    • 10% I don't just lay there
      24
    • 25% It's give and take
      20
    • 50% It's pretty equal
      10
    • Over 50% I'm so bad
      7


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Ha...what kind of question is this? of course the spanko  has control. I used (sometimes still do)to try  tell him what I thought I should get, but he reminds me real quick that he is the one that has the say, not me. So it never worked out well for me to even try and dictate what is going on.

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Years ago i use to try directing a lot of it but soon found out that if you direct there is no punishment it is not real.

If you do not allow the spanker to take what was agreed upon meeting - then there is no point in meeting any spanker.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I’m usually asked what I want and what implements to use. She has control over how hard and long.  Mine are stress relief for the most part, but there was a discipline spanking given once for admitting to speeding.  

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  • 2 weeks later...

When I get spanked the spanker is in control. Thats why I'm consenting to be spanked in the first place.  I do let it be known I prefer to be bare & OTK but thats the only input I get. NO SAFE WORD allowed. If I can take it fine, if not I get it anyway!

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I never direct the spanking, my 'ER' is always directing it 100%. If he tells me to undress, I undress. If he tells me to get over his knee, I go over his knee. If he tells me to kneel over a chair, I kneel over a chair. If he tells me to bend over and touch my kees, I bend over and touch my knees. If he tells me to get on all fours, I get on all fours. If he tells me to lay face down on the bed, I lay face down on the bed. And, my spankings always start with me all completely naked to show him that I'm ready to receive the needed punishment.

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  • 1 month later...
On January 21, 2018 at 11:37 PM, star1976 said:

I never direct the spanking, my 'ER' is always directing it 100%. If he tells me to undress, I undress. If he tells me to get over his knee, I go over his knee. If he tells me to kneel over a chair, I kneel over a chair. If he tells me to bend over and touch my kees, I bend over and touch my knees. If he tells me to get on all fours, I get on all fours. If he tells me to lay face down on the bed, I lay face down on the bed. And, my spankings always start with me all completely naked to show him that I'm ready to receive the needed punishment.

The way it should be

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  • 4 weeks later...

I just laid out some basic ground rules (what I am and am not okay with, and anything I specifically need to happen for it to be effective) and pretty much said "as long as that's followed, you're in control"

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  • 3 weeks later...

I'd be in SO much trouble if I even attempted to do any directing of a spanking.  I'm allowed to assert my concerns and offer my opinion as long as I can do it respectfully.  Telling him what to do is a big no though.

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I have a little bit of control, I have to ask for the cane if I feel I should be caned, and after the main spanking I'm given the option of additional spanking with implements of my choice or just ending the spanking there. Granted, if I just keep my pants down, my spanker assumes I want more and she's right.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I thought i had answered this pole yesterday, I am guessing it may not have stuck!

I like to think that under noooo circumstances am ( i) to guide the spanking or Punishment that i receive.  The release of control is extremely important to me. I do however believe that (because of the reality of who we are and safety nets put in place ) the submissive/spankee has more control.

Its always sooooo important for me though to release as much control over what is happening. ( this is a LARGE effort when the punishment begins to reallly hurt) Probably the reason why all of us as spankees beg and plead for it to stop even though we want it or need it.

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  • 1 month later...

As an erotic spanko hetero male I've found far fewer women willing to spank than to be spanked.  As a result, what spanking I've gotten has been largely at my request and direction.

I've gotten some very good spankings, but I long for the rest of the dynamic - being spanked for her enjoyment as she sees fit.

I think the spankings I've given have a greater degree of excitement for the woman because I have taken control of her bottom and spank it as I see fit - within the understood limits.  I have yet to have a woman spank me with that dynamic.

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...

I would let him lead the spanking the way he wants. He likes to have his 'ee' mostly over the knee because he can use not only his bare hand, but also the small paddle, the brush, the spoon, the ruler, etc.

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  • 3 months later...
  • 1 year later...
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  • 3 weeks later...

I don't direct but I guess I can be infuriating unless I'm really made humble. I know it but not the degree. It's also something that my partner likes. "Things can be interesting" is how it's put.

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  • 5 months later...

He always decides 100% what my spankings should entail. Even though it is my responsibility to come to him and tell him offenses that happen when he's not around that break our rules, that doesn't always result in me getting spanked, therefore it's still up to him when and if a spanking happens at all. He decides implements, length of spanking, severity, and what happens afterwards (corner time, etc). I don't think a spankee should get a choice in their spanking unless you're being spanked by someone you don't know very well, then there should be a discussion ahead of time and the ability to safeword out if you feel things truly go too far.

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I think as someone who doesn't use spanking as discipline, but for nonsexual recreational fun and stress relief, I would definitely need some give and take with a spanker. I'm not currently in a spanking partnership, but that is a big point of compatibility for me.

Because spanking, for me, would be for mutual enjoyment, we should both get a say. Of course everything would be worked out before a scene, not during. But if I am really in the mood for an otk hairbrush spanking, I should be able to express that I want that and have that incorporated as a part of the session. He can still spank me in ways he specifically wants to in the session, within limits. But if there's something I want that are within my partner's limits, I should feel free to ask for it and know it will be heard and respected. Call it "topping from the bottom", but I ultimately have as much of a right to get spanked how I want as they have to give spankings how they want. I would certainly never try to control every portion of a spanking, like I'm giving them some blueprint they have to follow to the letter. I want them to be able to top the scene. All I ask is if I'm specifically craving one or two implements, they be incorporated into the session somewhere. I ask that my desires be heard and fulfilled by my top, and I will absolutely do the same in return as their bottom. 

But of course, all of this is in a non-disciplinary partnership. 

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