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Reasons for discipline spankings


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Hi!

I am a 36 year old girl who always had an interest in spankings but started to explore this interest only recently. I found that the kind of spankings that works best for me psychologically is disciplinary spankings or rather roleplay discipline spankings. It does not really matter to me much whether the reason for the spanking is real or pretend (as long as it is reasonably believable), but I do need for the spanking to feel inside as discipline for misbehavior or attitude, and thus need to be spanked for some specific reason, a certain misbehavior even if it is a pretend misbehavior. Plain spankings "just because" simply do not work for me emotionally, just somehow do not make sense for me. I need the spanking to be a punishment for being bad or naughty, even if pretend naughty, then it feels right for me.

The problem is that I am a reasonably well-behaved girl in my real life. I do not speed, do not text while driving, I am not late to work and fairly well organized, and do not drink or smoke or anything else. I did come up with a few reasons, some from my past, some pretend, but I have already been spanked for all of them and ran off the reasons.

Please do not laugh.
I know it may sound laughable, but it is a very real issue for me still.

I would really appreciate if you could suggest me a list of reasons for punishment spankings, perhaps things you have been spanked for or spanked for, or simply can think of, and then I could use it for my punishments.

I meet with my disciplinarian only for spankings, so I am never rude to him or fussy, thus I need the reasons not related to him but those that could believably be related to the normal life of a 36 year old single girl.

Karen

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Hi Karen,

As you are pretty sorted and sensible you could consider your thoughts rather than your actions.  Would you like the spanking to help make you a better person?  We all have thoughts occasionally that we are not proud of ... does your Dom have the intellect to give you guidance with your punishment?

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Being rude, not tidying the house or making your bed, making excuses if you don't want to go somewhere, ignoring phone calls because you don't want to talk to someone, making mistakes at work and covering them up.

Hope these help.

Ken

 

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Think of a change you know would  make your life better, but you really do not want to make  the effort to change.  Should you exercise more or differently than you do?  Do you spend more time at play on the computer that you really should?  Are there spending habits you should change?  Do you always keep a sufficient amount of gas in your tank so you would not run out if caught in a traffic jam?   Do you let any work pile up at home you should not?  Procrastination is always a big one.   

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Hi Karen

To my knowledge no one I have ever disciplined ever obtained  a certificate for " Perfection."  People of Christian  Faith are told "we need redemption due to our failures" Granted many do not accept that Faith standard but the principal is still the same. Seeking perfection is for many a life long commitment without ever reaching their goal.  

My experience with women I have, and continue to spank is that at times they want a spanking not for misbehavior, not for sexual release but while their need is hard to define I tend to see it as a help for relief from stress, for those vague feelings of guilt they cannot always define. One reason i tend to define spanking as a help for either punishment, erotic/sexual fun or for stress release.

Davyd 

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Hi!

Thanks everyone for your advise.

It is just that spankings for me need to be a punishment or they do not work mentally. I do not know why, but this is the way it is. May be because this is how it was when my parents and grandma spanked me growing up. As a kid there was all sorts of things one could get spanked for, but for an adult the range of spankable misconduct seems to be so much smaller.

It is not an issue to ask my spanker to spank me "just because", I could do it. The issue is it won't work for me mentally. Same for motivational or maintenance or stress relief spankings. Spankings may not need a reason, but I do. I need a reasonable and believable misconduct, even if a pretend one.

I need spankings to feel in a way similar to how parental spankings did: a punishment, an atonement and being taught a lesson.

Likewise a mistake, honest mistake does not feel to me (and I am speaking only of myself) like a justified reason for a spanking, or in fact any punishment, since it is not a misconduct. Not something I knowingly did when I knew I should not, and thus does not merit a punishment. Whereas what I need is a punishment.

Karen

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17 hours ago, GentleDisciplinarian said:

*DO NOT* start down a path where you purposely do bad things to "earn" spankings. Communicate with your spanker. Tell the spanker your needs. Do not try to push them into it. It's not healthy. 

I wholeheartedly agree with this. 

If you like and/or need to feel 'naughty' during spankings, and feel like it is truly punishment, perhaps you could ask your spanker for an impossible rule: something that you both know you can't help but break, so that 'punishment' is inevitable? Then you've got genuine misconduct, in the disobedience of breaking the rule, but it's nothing genuinely dangerous or unhealthy or 'bad'.

Alternatively, since you've said you don't mind if the misbehaviour is pretend, just so long as it's believable, could you not just pretend you've transgressed again with variations of things you say you've done in the past, and been punished for already? Or things you mention that you never do, like texting while driving: just pretend that you have done them? NB, I say this with the assumption that BOTH you and your spanker KNOW it's a pretence: please don't pass off pretend indiscretions as real to your spanker. That would be unfair on them and likely to end badly. You said that role-play punishment could work for you, so I guess that's more what I have in mind - where you both know it's role-play.

Maybe those options won't work for you... I think I may not quite understand what you need, with regards to real-ness. If I understand correctly, you need the punishment to feel real, but the indiscretion can be imagined... So for it to work, do you need your spanker to believe that the punishment is real? As in, they have to think you really have done something wrong? Because if so, I would say the 'impossible rule' is your most viable option for long-term success. Otherwise you have to lie to your spanker, and I believe that will eventually be harmful to both of you and to your relationship. 

I hope you can work something out that fulfils what you need!

Annie.

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I've had people in my life that I've spanked weekly for years not because they were naughty but because they needed spankings.  There's nothing wrong with a periodic (weekly has worked best for most people I have known, but to each their own) maintenance spanking.  And, while there were a couple of times that a rule was broken or a behavior needed correcting and the much promised true blistering was administered (specifically designed to be something to avoided), being spanked for no reason other than they needed to be spanked did them a world of good.  I'd try "I just need you to spank me because I need you to spank me" before I tried naughtiness.

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Yes, I need roleplay punishment spankings. The spanker will know this. However not the ageplay roleplay kind. I need to be spanked my own age.

If it were the ageplay role play, finding roleplay reasons would not be hard. There is a lot of things kids get spanked for or used to. Getting a behavior note at school, talking back to my mom, not doing homework or chores. I did all of this and similar things growing up and sometimes was spanked for them, so it is not hard for me to relate to them.

However I need to be spanked not as a roleplay child but my own age. And as a grown up I would never text and drive, did not even ever occur to me, the whole thing seems to be totally impossible, I cannot relate to it. I also never got a speeding ticket in my life. I just cannot relate to those things. I can relate to something like eating too much cake or not making my bed, but this is a short list.

So what other people do get spanked for as adults?

It cannot possibly be that no one ever gets spanked as punishment or discipline for real-life act.

Please, what I need is merely the practical list of suggestions, not theorizing or yet another explanation how "just because" spankings allegedly "should" work for me. I already explained twice that they do not.

Karen

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These are "practical" things I would spank for, if I was in a Domestic Discipline relationship.  Hopefully there are some ideas here for you.... 

-not getting up on time, not going to bed on time

-not following the dress code (if you have one)

-watching more TV than your allotted time 

-messing around on social media longer than your allotted time 

-messing around on PC, phone, video games longer than your allotted time

-failing to pick up after the dog, failing to walk the dog

-failing to meet any weekly or monthly weight goals you may have set for yourself 

-not exercising, skipping the gym

-spending over budget

-not keeping in regular touch with family/loved ones

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Well, then, lads (addressing Geo and Kinky, here): we've established that the two of you want different things from a DD / spanking relationship! This is good! Matchmaking by a process of elimination. 

Anything can be a 'good 'reason for spankings or punishment, so long as both ER and EE in that dyad are happy with the situation. 

Karen, hopefully Geo's list will provide some inspiration. 

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hi Karen.i am listing a few reasons I have  for gien a     materional displine spanking to adults not sure you will like them . 1, failure to perform your  best at work. 2 not completethings leaveing many things  undone.3 not careing about others feelings .4 putting off important decisions till they cause problems and are to late to be fixed.5 avoiding things         that you don't want to deal with. I feel a good maternal discipline spanking may help you change your life. of course it have to be more than one . I think if you choose a mom with spanking experience and          does not have to be with adults she has experience with

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5 hours ago, karen_d said:

Yes, I need roleplay punishment spankings. The spanker will know this. However not the ageplay roleplay kind. I need to be spanked my own age.

If it were the ageplay role play, finding roleplay reasons would not be hard. There is a lot of things kids get spanked for or used to. Getting a behavior note at school, talking back to my mom, not doing homework or chores. I did all of this and similar things growing up and sometimes was spanked for them, so it is not hard for me to relate to them.

However I need to be spanked not as a roleplay child but my own age. And as a grown up I would never text and drive, did not even ever occur to me, the whole thing seems to be totally impossible, I cannot relate to it. I also never got a speeding ticket in my life. I just cannot relate to those things. I can relate to something like eating too much cake or not making my bed, but this is a short list.

So what other people do get spanked for as adults?

It cannot possibly be that no one ever gets spanked as punishment or discipline for real-life act.

Please, what I need is merely the practical list of suggestions, not theorizing or yet another explanation how "just because" spankings allegedly "should" work for me. I already explained twice that they do not.

Karen

karen-

Would love to chat with you sometime.  I am 42 and spanked by my gf for misbehavior.  I am lesbian and the spankings are for my misbehavior as an adult and as such I am spanked as an adult and never rp as a little girl.  My gf is very stern and has been in my life for over a year.  The spankings I receive are real and they do hurt.  She has me crying and kicking my legs in very short order.

Please send me a message if you would like to chat about my real-life experiences.

gina

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How about for the following:

1. Drinking alcohol while taking medication that warns against it.

2. Walking by yourself at night in an unsafe area

3. Continuously not calling your significant other to let him/her know that you are running late from work

4. Trying to climb up to get something from a high shelf with a broken foot

5. Moving furniture when you were explicitely told not to do it because you have back trouble

 

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I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around "role-play punishment" spankings.  To me, punishment (I call it discipline) and role-play are two different things.  Discipline, to me, is about correcting failure to meet agreed-to goals.  Role-play is fantasy.  That doesn't mean the role-play spanking can't be hard and cleansing, but I would call it "stress-relief" or something, as opposed to discipline.

I know that didn't answer your question, but most of the reasons I would have come up with have been covered.  I have a partner who I spank for failure to meet diet and exercise goals.

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Spanknutt that is a very good post - now to answer you for me what is called "age-play and role-play" i treat this seriously as being not a game and not fantasy but being real in the mind set as to how i am acting and behaving there by being treated and punished as where i am not longer an adult. Now many would not or can not put themselves in that mind set were as this would and could only be accepted as a game or fantasy to them.

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Things to get spanked for - some of these may or may not be past transgressions of mine but you are welcome to adapt.

  • Leaving the office without permission
  • Being rude or disrespectful
  • Not listening
  • Having tantrums during boardgames
  • Breaking tree branches
  • Smoking pot and then going into the office/college and talking absolute rubbish
  • Smoking pot outside the office/college
  • Starting a riot at school during a mock election
  • Setting fire alarms off by stage diving off tables
  • Writing punk rock lyrics on tables
  • Uniform infractions
  • Taking acid and then trespassing on a golf course to build a snowman
  • Nearly causing a car crash by having a tantrum
  • Taking speed mixed with cider and ventolin then trying to hijack a burger van with the words "Where's my fookin' Chariot !"
  • Having 3 mugs that are never quite clean enough at work
  • Not putting pens back
  • Wearing T shirts backwards
  • Losing things at work on your desk that other staff need
  • Listening to music too loudly
  • Disrespecting ones elders
  • Drinking wine straight out of the bottle
  • Downloading illegally shared mp3s
  • Owning a copy of Poisons "Flesh and Blood"

and swearing like a trooper ..

Blimey that was quite a weekend..

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On 11/21/2017 at 11:05 AM, GentleDisciplinarian said:

I always say "Spankings dont need a reason." If you feel you need one and you want it to be "discipline quality" then ask for it. I've had spankees who wanted hard spanking because they like the spanking, itself for its release. Ask and you shall receive.  

*DO NOT* start down a path where you purposely do bad things to "earn" spankings. Communicate with your spanker. Tell the spanker your needs. Do not try to push them into it. It's not healthy. 

This is true in my situation. I need ti be spanked not for any wrong doings but just because i need it.  I get a good hard spanking at least once a month. My spanker does give me a reason, i can think of one in my head if needed. As long as i get a good paddling i feel relieved, relaxed almost.

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It's best to actually talk through any specific rules so you accept and own them and the other person knows what it you expect and are prepared to discipline you for but a good start point for actual disciplinary spankings is dishonour (lying, cheating), disrespect (not carrying out agreed chores, not paying attention to what is said) and disobedience (refusing to undertake agreed tasks, refusal to follow an order without good reason, doing something you were told would harm you).

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Guest Mozeamis
On ‎11‎/‎22‎/‎2017 at 10:42 AM, AfterGeometry said:

These are "practical" things I would spank for, if I was in a Domestic Discipline relationship.  Hopefully there are some ideas here for you.... 

-not getting up on time, not going to bed on time

-not following the dress code (if you have one)

-watching more TV than your allotted time 

-messing around on social media longer than your allotted time 

-messing around on PC, phone, video games longer than your allotted time

-failing to pick up after the dog, failing to walk the dog

-failing to meet any weekly or monthly weight goals you may have set for yourself 

-not exercising, skipping the gym

-spending over budget

-not keeping in regular touch with family/loved ones

If you were my spanker, based on this list I would be over your knee ALOT!!!  I break almost everyone one of these rules almost daily

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the spanking my aunt would give me was for talking back or not showing respect to her or any other for that matter. even thou i was in high school i still would get spank on some occasions. my aunt had a heavy hand and could spank hard. i never did take my spankings well.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 11/22/2017 at 10:54 AM, spanklove said:

hi Karen.i am listing a few reasons I have  for gien a     materional displine spanking to adults not sure you will like them . 1, failure to perform your  best at work. 2 not completethings leaveing many things  undone.3 not careing about others feelings .4 putting off important decisions till they cause problems and are to late to be fixed.5 avoiding things         that you don't want to deal with. I feel a good maternal discipline spanking may help you change your life. of course it have to be more than one . I think if you choose a mom with spanking experience and          does not have to be with adults she has experience with

I have a problem with everything u listed weekly and have been in need of a real discipline spanking for a long time

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