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None of the above. Finding the right connection takes time and patience. I took me many years of looking to find the right connection in a Top. After finding the right connection I  have been with my Top for almost 2 years and we have a wonderful relationship based on 4 guiding principles of safety, trust, communication and compassion. Placing oneself over a Tops knee is a gift and shouldn't just be given to anyone.

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Not so much a 'mentor', but an understanding girlfriend took years to find. As a kid it wasn't hard to fid girls to spank me but it was just about the fun and didn't have the kind of connection you're seeking. It wasn't until after college that I finally found a woman who understood me and was able to give me what I needed.

Be patient and don't be in too much of a rush to settle. Above all, be safe!

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