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Online Disciplinarian - What are your thoughts?

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On 10/6/2017 at 6:30 AM, annie83 said:

@manneeds it sounds like you might have had a bad experience with an online situation. If so, I'm sorry if it made you feel sad or hurt or disillusioned or angry. I have been in that position and it was not a nice place to be - I sympathise.

However, please try not to tar everyone with the same brush. I think, like others have said, that online discipline can work just fine, provided both parties involved are willing to put the required effort in (and, ultimately, that they both *want* it to work). This of course does also require that neither be a scammer or a liar - and there may very well be plenty of those - but not everyone is, you know.

I fully agree. Online can work for some. Others may choose a blended approach especially when distance is involved. And others still may find that online in-person interactions may be the most productive. Many times, what starts as online progresses to in-person as trust is built up.

I think what manneeds is adamant about are catfish people who pretend to be spanking enthusiasts but are just doing the interaction for jollies or attention. He seems to take the (false) position that all online people are catfish. And he does sound like he's been burned by them before. I, myself, am always leery of people who want to exchange pictures/video of the spanking as "proof" that it happened. But I'm also leery of anyone who insists that spanking require total nudity.  What he fails to acknowledge is how online/phone only interactions can help build trust in a very safe zone so the more introverted or cautious can still get their spanking/mentoring needs filled without any sort of danger. 

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13 hours ago, GentleDisciplinarian said:

But I'm also leery of anyone who insists that spanking require total nudity. 

Thank you a million times for saying this.

13 hours ago, GentleDisciplinarian said:

What he fails to acknowledge is how online/phone only interactions can help build trust in a very safe zone so the more introverted or cautious can still get their spanking/mentoring needs filled without any sort of danger. 

and this.

And thank you for many others who have stood up for the likes of me.

 

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Hm. I know this may seem a controversial position, but I am of the mind that, having grown up with kinks that are not generally accepted in society, and that have made socializing and meeting people who share my needs challenging, I am going to take people wherever they are for whomever they claim to be.

If a person's experience is that online play has not been meaningful for them, I would accept that at face value and suggest they probably don't want to do that. If their experience is that online is either what they must do because they have no alternative, or because they are new to this and it is a stepping stone, or because it works for them or because they prefer it, then I would accept that at face value too and urge them to continue.

I think sometimes those of us whose central kink is spanking may be a little bit more - well, if not conservative, at least traditional. In the larger world of kink and in the larger world in general, people are challenging the idea that everything is a good/bad, right/wrong, male/female, Dom/sub binary. The same goes for where and how we meet and communicate. It's not an either/or proposition.

Some people have bad experiences with people online who seem not to be who they say they are, or who are dodgy once you get to know them. That sucks. You know what else sucks? People who meet someone and turn out to be completely different from the way they presented themselves online. In short, the world is often a highly unsatisfying place to live, Do your best not to let it get you down, and determine that you are going to keep a positive attitude as you continue to look for what you really want. Because ultimately, that's the only thing that WILL get you what you want.

 

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I am curious what people think. So for some people, it is not conducive to see someone in person. Be it family stuff, room mates, mental/emotional issues, or just other reasons. So I am curious what folks think of Online instruction for discipline? Has anyone done it? I prefer to do it that way do to my personal and professional life. But I know it's not for everyone. So what say you, folks?

No i am not a mentor but if i was these would be my requirements, yes on line mentoring can honestly work but you must for real seriously do what your told to do or there's no point in going any further.

1. you will lose your privacy, you will either have a cam or a camera to date and time stamp photos.

If a cam there are no doubts i can see that you are doing what your told to do.

If a camera  there are no doubts i can see by the date and time stamp on the photos that you are doing what your told to do.

IF YOU SAY what about chats and messages, my answer is very simple "there is no proof" that you did it you could be telling me you did it well all i have is your word sorry i would always have doubts.

midnight

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I have mentored and disciplined ee F on line for years and learnt a few things.

Building trust with those who are real and want help in their life:

There are so many fake ee and e'a on every site. It takes time to build true trust. My method, not saying its the only way!!! is to chat and share about myself as I expect the ee to share as well. We will chat online or exchange emails for a reasonable time. Generally not more than 10 exchanges.... Then if the person lives in the States or Canada I require a phone call to make sure one who claims to be a F is one! . I am not looking for phone numbers. These days its very easy to talk without sharing one's number. You would be really amazed how many fakes quit after I insist on a phone call. I have ee's I spank who are willing to talk on the phone to potential ee. All that to help the one who is seeking help. I discourage those contacts by email or chat as I am sure some fakes find a way to have two accounts on two computers side by side! 

I respect those who are concerned about a bare butt showing on the internet. I live in the USA but discipline a lady in France.. We talk for a while then when its time for her self spanking under my orders for her discipline I allow her to move off camera. I can hear the swats so know she is obeying me.  When she returns on cam its easy most times to notice the swats were real by the way she sits carefully on the chair and the way she looks. 

I know trust takes time to build but having disciplined some this way for some years experience helps to know who is truly serious about accountability and spanking discipline  and willing to face the "music"

Davyd 

 

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