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Pyschology of crying during spankings


Guest MrGSpanks

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Guest MrGSpanks

So many missed the salient points so I chose to remove the piece. Instead of reading it with an open mind it became a gender issue fuelled by those not aligned with this thought. The response from this group was personal instead of educational based for the most part. And for those who commented it must be my point of view "HELLO". And do we really need to add a comment everyone is different. This is 2017 and I believe most of the world has accepted that reality.

How about posting something factual based on the topic "Psychology of crying during spankings"? 

Edited by MrGSpanks
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I'm confused...is all of this your opinion or are you quoting from another source here ?  If you've taken this material from somewhere else, or if your views have been influenced by others, it would be very helpful if you could site your sources...thanks !!! 

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Mostly emotional, but not without exception. I've had a few arrive at my door step with eyes welled up in anticipation of what was most likely about to happen. I've had others get teary-eyed during the course of the review. I've had a few cry during the discipline from the pain, and a few afterwards from a combination of the pain & emotion, while others didn't at any point. I will add that there was no giggling of any kind in any case.;)

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I don't necessarily think that the information MrGSpanks provides applies to all women, but I do think that it applies to me. I was taught not to cry when I was growing up and I hate crying in front of people, but usually when I start to feel out of control I crave a spanking and I want to be able to emotionally let go. I also feel that the child-like quality mentioned describes me as well. I wouldn't presume to think this is the case for all women, but just about everything MrGSpanks stated fits with me. I am very curious too. Is this your own opinion/impression or is this something noted elsewhere? I would love to learn more.

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Spanking is not a  1+1=2 kind of thing. It's not a strict recipe that when followed precisely always turns out the same way. I'm glad that Annie feels a kinship with this, I'm sure she's not alone. As she mentioned though, we are all wired differently. What works for one person might not work for another. 

Also, this article presupposes that there's something in a woman's nature that causes her to need to cry during a spanking. What about the men who need to cry during a spanking? What about the women who don't?

Furthermore, you mention that it depends on many factors, such as ambience and mood, but also say it may require "...rapidly switching the back of the thighs, or spanking the buttocks repeatedly—perhaps over the course of a weekend. " For some, a hand spanking by a caring mentor is more than enough to bring them to tears (also, some hands are more than equal to the task). In fact, for some, it doesn't take a spanking at all. Yet for others, it does require a more harsh spanking and that's what they need and want. 

The point is: we are all unique. We have differents needs and wants and motivations. 

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You answered a lot more diplomatically than I would have, gingerlee, so thank you for that :D

 

I personally have no need to cry during a spanking.  The last time I got close was because I was fervently wishing someone else was spanking me.  So I guess, "Be disappointing" is another way to get an 'ee to cry in a pinch.

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If I have not first been a man's equal, they cannot hope to have my submission. People in general don't tend to respect those viewed as being beneath or less than themselves from the start. 

I will yell every obscenity I can think of, maybe even create some new ones during the course of a punishment spanking, but I will not cry from pain alone. Facing my Master, seeing the disappointment in his eyes is what brings my tears. 

There are ideas you put forth in this post that frankly are dangerous. In equating spanking to sex you state "Unlike human males, the female orgasm seldom just happens because the plumbing is appropriately hooked up and the itch is scratched. Ambiance, mood, timing, and so forth are all important for setting the stage for grand finale." The female body does respond to stimulation, even when we don't want it. There are more than enough rape survivors who've orgasmed during the attack and fight through what feels like a betrayal of their own bodies to prove it is not a rare occurrence. 

This also reads as every woman needs to be spanked to tears, are incapable of being the dominant party, and at no point has any man felt the need to be in the submissive role. Frankly, that is highly offensive and plays on far too many stereotypes to be even close to true.

Not every person with a need to be spanked is secretly wanting to be treated like a kid or caught in some battle with their inner child. It's stereotypical pseudo psychology that conveniently ignores the complexity of the human mind.

Through out your entire post is an assumption that all the world is straight, women are mentally weaker than men, submissive by nature, expect our partners to be mind readers, are endlessly secretive, work to undermine our partners, and basically have to be broken to achieve the desired result of tears.

 I do not understand why you chose to post this antiquated drivel that is far more at home in the mouth of a Men's Rights activist than a therapeutic spanking forum. If the intent was to offend then congratulations, mission accomplished.

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Everything you have written here is probably in your point of view. Some women may be able to relate to that, some may not.

However, I must say that the insight you have put into this is great. If in case, your views have been reflecting the ideas given by someone else with your collaboration in it or some other source  I think notifying or mentioning them here would prove useful for some.

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I talked to my Master about this post. Ok, more like lost my.damn mind at him about this post. The following is his reply

"Ah, the biologist strikes again.The basal urges theory.The male part has to be superior to the female part because biology.Not taking into account the human brain, the complexities by which thought patterns and neural patterns develop, and how that affects hormones.The person who wrote this has such a poor handling on neuroscience and neurobiology and psychology it makes me chuckle.

He stole it from an old geocities site.Called Husband's that Spank Which had a post at the end talking about how the Submissive was the one with the power, and only allows the dominant the power, because of trust and need. But was completely MDom/FSub.But also made the disclaimer that not everyone was going to agree with him, but he wanted a forum on which like minded people could read from a long time monogamous Spanko and D/s Couple.One of the precursors to TiH/50s Household movement.Now it is true that many people are that way.And a lot of people who want to follow and live this kind of Lifestyle are exactly as he described.And a good portion of it is because of neurology and endocrinology in humans.And how that affects male and female physiology But that COMPLETELY disregards the ability to feel and choose and enjoy from person to person.

So is he wrong for making a general, sweeping statement without qualification? Yes...especially because most of them qualified their statements."

I told my Master It blows my mind that so many people are agreeing with his post. As it's presented, not knowing where it came from or anything else involved with it, to me it reads like the beliefs that kept women from voting until 1920. I don't understand why people don't see a problem, why only one other person has called him out on the tone and the sweeping nature of the post.I get how the littles and the newbies could be drawn to it but the mentors? I can understand within the context of TiH/1950's but it's not being presented that way. It reads like a setup for stalled growth and constant dependence which is NOT supposed to be a mentor's goal."

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The original post did seem very clearly copied (thank you for telling us where from, JenniferAnn). It irks me enormously, in content and perhaps even more so in tone. It is reductionist claptrap that stereotypes quite mercilessly and completely fails to recognise that we are ALL INDIVIDUALS, you know, with human complexity and different motivations and needs and all that jazz. We are not all the same and it is insulting to reduce us to a 'one-size-fits-all' mentality, especially in such a non-progressive manner.

And it is particularly irritating because *some* of what is written might actually have some merit, for example the point about communication being important, or that spanking is as much about an EEs head than their butt; but the tone of the whole thing, and the gross generalisation, and the majority of the content, all raise my hackles so much that I feel anything vaguely useful just gets lost in the utter rubbish. My 'inner child' is clearly very petulant because it wants to tell the author to Eff Off and take their condescending, mansplaining, patriarchal attitude with them. Maybe that's just me 'circling the wagons', though? Grr.

Sorry if this is too ranty. This stuff just irritates me. Its dictatorial and without context. It doesn't invite dialogue, or considered thought, or meaningful debate.

For what it is worth, I have personally not ever been spanked to tears, and I would like to cry from a spanking one day, but I would give very short shrift indeed to anyone who tried to tell me it was what I needed without actually knowing me, let alone anyone saying that "all women" need it. And no men, obviously, because whoever heard of male EEs? I mean, even if they exist, they are not allowed to cry, or allowed to want to, obviously. *rolls eyes*

Could we just do less collective psychoanalysing, please? And less telling people who they are instead of asking them, and maybe having a discussion to further understanding? 

Grumble grumble. I'll get back under my stone.

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I don't identify with the inner child, however in the absence of trust, it would be my natural reaction to seek to protect myself.  

The spanking/crying, sex/orgasm connection makes sense to me.  There's much more to it than the basics.  It's emotions, stimulation, timing.  

Talking out problems is beneficial for me.  Just having the words come out, hearing them and sharing with someone.  It hasn't ever gotten me out of a spanking but addressing and reflecting with input from another is helpful in the process, encouraging tears.  

What I leave unsaid can speak volumes.  In my day to day, I often say just enough to be clearly heard.  But there doesn't need to be anyone reading between the lines; that should come through follow up,  conversation, learning and understanding one another.  

Good reference to draw on.  More of an outdated position, but informational and somewhat personally relevant. 

  

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This post transported me back to psych 101 but without the dots being connected to the various theories thrown about.   For me it seems not at all a cliche to say each situation is very different and every woman who consents and submits to a spanking has her own reasons for doing so.  Reactions also vary, for those looking for a release, to ease some guilt or who are just plain sensitive in that area, crying seems not only normal but expected.   Others cede power in their submission but need not demonstrate it further by crying.  Some, as has been pointed out, just don't feel enough pain or sting to bring them to tears.   

Personally I find this particular analysis a bit too much whether original or copied.  

 

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For me, the article was helpful and made sense. I'm pretty new to the spanking scene, though.  I long to have a DD relationship with my spouse, but he's too much vanilla to understand my spanking needs. He sure does try! I'm just glad he supports me in that he allowed me meeting up with my disciplinarian/mentor.  I would certainly love to have that release of tears. I desire that when the spanking has ended to sob into my mentor's chest while he holds me and comforts me. I desire to feel being that punished little girl. I hope it happens for me then next time we meet. We shall see....

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