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Why does a spanking hold you accountable?

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I always have a lot of questions regarding the psychology of spanking...so for you EE's out there...why does a spanking hold you accountable ?  Do you just allow it to hold you accountable ?  At some point, wouldn't you just build an immunity to it ?Wouldn't it then become just another annoyance that you could dismiss out of hand?  

EE's must at some point grant the spanking some sort of power that they don't grant to other things...such as a verbal rebuke, or perhaps one's own stinging conscience.  Why can't the disappointed look in somebody's eyes, or perhaps the emotion expressed in a verbal rebuke have the same power as a spanking ?   So many questions...thanks for helping me see the world thru an EE's eyes.

(p.s. I know not all EE's respond to punishment/deterrence spankings...but I welcome your thoughts nonetheless.) 

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For me:

For the most part, the reason it works is more because of the accountability than it is the spanking.  When we use spanking as a tool to deal with something like procrastination, it becomes an admission of failure - of "losing" so to speak.  In my mind, it is almost like wagering a bet.  Sort of "if I lose or am wrong, you get to punish me" - and two things I HATE are to be wrong, and to lose; so even if there is a part of me that likes/needs a spanking, there's a bigger part of me that does not like "losing".

Now that said, I also have to admit that I've experienced discipline from someone who does not view it as any kind of "game" to be won or lost - assigned by my partner, she views a punishment as a pure negative consequence that should be negative and feared enough to be avoided - so when it comes to dealing with her, it's flat out fear (held in place by integrity) that provides the motivation.  While the reality is that as an adult, I could simply say "no" to her if I screwed up - I place too high a premium on my word to go back on it.  If I enter into an agreement and give my word that I will comply with the "terms" - then it's a done deal for me - there is no backing out.

Lastly, I'd be surprised if most 'ees who respond to you did not confess that the WORST thing is the look of disappointment or hurt that you describe - the consequence of a spanking actually relieves the pain of that look in the eyes of someone you care about.

just my two cents


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Guest Warwick

I think for me at least in terms of punishment spankings it ties into a simpler form of morality. I've been having a bit of a nostalgia trip back to when I was growing up recently and the other day was watching ( of all things ) repeats of "He Man and the Master of the Universe" - They would always have one of the characters at the end give a life lesson directly to camera ( as such ). One of them was the lesson that sometimes parents and those who love us sometimes have to say no for our own good when it would be easier to say yes. I think as an adult the need to be spanked at times is actually wanting to have someone who is prepared to say "no" in a physical way.

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For me it's the result of breaking an established and agreed upon rule. My wife has set rules and guidelines for me to follow. In addition to those there are the periodic request for me to perform a task or attend to a particular request. Failure to follow the rules or not take care of the request will result in a punishment spanking. I never think I could build an immunity to her spankings. They are truly punishing and she will continue the spanking until she gets the results she is looking for, which is usually my sobbing and begging her to stop. 

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The negative physical reinforcement of a punishment spanking, along with the scolding, reminds me of why I need to work on or break a habit, and even why I'm getting the spanking in the first place. By itself, the spanking does nothing except give me a very sore butt. I know I have things I need to work on, and I know why, and sometimes I need that punishment spanking as an extra push in the right direction or to relieve guilt after failing to do something. As I know I've said before, breaking a habit would probably require several punishment spankings as I know there will be times I slip up.

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To me it is not the spanking itself that holds me accountable, it is more the fact that someone has the power and the right to physically discipline me. The sheer dominance itself.

No one else has or even knows about him having that right. It is our secret and that makes it even more special.

There is something absolute about the concept, as an adult. It is greater than me, in the sense that it makes me put myself under his authority in an utterly humbling and uneven way. It compels me to do my best not disappoint him. Spanking itself is more a celebration of the dynamic if I may say, although in some cases it is truly the result of my disobedience or disrespect.


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